The Bookstore -Story Reviews

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Reviews
Here, you can read and write reviews about stories from The Bookstore!
Writers, see what readers have to say about your stories! These reviews are an opportunity to get constructive feedback from readers all over CS! And readers, you can see what people think about your favourite stories, look for new reads, and add your own comments! This is a place for sharing, for learning, for writers and readers to work together!
Writing a review is simple! New reviews are added every Tuesday, so to add your review, you need only post it here! Then, I will link it to the appropriate story on the shelf below! Easy as that! We also have a variety of reviews, ranging from long, in-depth, multi-paragrah dissections of the story, to short and concise comments! There's something for everyone!

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Accepting reviews for Tuesday! Head over to the Bookstore to pick a story to review! And remember, only stories that say, 'Review here!' are reviewable!

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Work in progress!
Story Being Reviewed: A Silent Look on Life, by -Invisible-
Reviewer: Viszla7
Spoilers? The latter half will contain spoilers, but the first bit is free of them.
Rating: 4/5 stars
Although there have only been two chapters posted thus far, A Silent Look on Life has already collected a group of eager fans. And for good reason. This story is refreshingly original -not a werewolf/vampire romance, or a CS pet diary. xD It is about a mute girl, Elli Tears, whose best friend -Topic Silver- goes missing. The first person narration gives us a window into Elli's world, we can follow the story through her eyes. She lends us her thoughts, giving us an extra dimension to the story. The first person is also very well-handled. I didn't catch a single 'she' or 'her' in place of an 'I' or 'me'. The story is riddled with extra little details, something that I -as a reader- am always looking for in a good piece of writing. It just makes the story more... juicy. (Oh gosh, that sounds strange... 0.o) But, like every story, it has faults. Whilst reading, I noticed that 'since' was always written as 'sense', and that there were a few 'your' and 'you're' mistakes, as well as 'except' and 'expect' slip-ups. There are some grammatically incorrect sentences, and some repetative sentence starters. I also noticed that some bits of the story were very lacking in details. Sections where I would've liked the author to go into more detail were just skipped over entirely. Spoiler alert! For example, the meeting with the principal was very, very brief. I feel as if I missed something, somehow, after they moved on. It made me go, 'That was it?', and look back to see if I missed a chunk of text. This happens often throughout the first two chapters, and it is something I would very much like to be attended to. This seems like a kind of contradictory statement, now that I read over what I've written so far, because earlier on, I wrote 'The story is riddled with extra little details...'. So, I will now explain myself better. :p The extra little details were things such as, "My mom said that when I was three I got this thing called laryngitis, which is an inflammation to my larynx, or voice box. My mom never told me how exactly me having laryngitis made me have no voice. I think she didn’t want me to know, she didn’t want me to have to think about that kind of thing. My mom is always doing things like that." The laryngitis explaination was a nice touch, for a couple of reasons. A) being that it was explained at all and B) being that it wasn't some overdramatic thing like, "A wolf ripped my throat out." Although, that sentence is also an example of repetative sentence starters. I bolded the beginnings of the sentences, and you can see, 3 out of the 4 sentences start with, 'My mom...'. But, overall, the most obvious fault is the lack of detail.

And now, onto a dissection of the plot and characters so far. We have mute and 'unwillingly perfect' Elli Tears, who is said to be good at many things. "My whole life people have always told my mom that I am perfect. Perfect cheekbones, perfect nose, perfect eyes, perfect body. I have ‘perfect’ grades, and I’m ‘perfect’ at sports. My art is ‘perfect’. Apparently I’m just plain ‘ol perfect." But, there have been strange contradictions to this 'perfection'. It states that she gets "perfect grades", and yet, later on, it also says, "I usually don’t raise my hand, and my teachers don’t call on me if I don’t have my hand up." I don't know about you, but I've always been told that the 'perfect student' is always volunteering answers, and that it was pretty hard to get good grades if you never contributed in class. Perhaps the teachers make exceptions because of her muteness? As well, she has gotten in trouble for graffiting the school property, and has been suspended. But, perhaps the first statement was a reflection of her life before highschool, or was given to her by voluntarily blind people, because she certainly isn't acting very perfect now. xD Nonetheless, Elli is certainly a very engaging character. She also isn't a mary-sue, despite what the first statement might say. She has her problems, such as her inability to speak. She is a terrible liar, and has an irrational hatred of her best friend's friend, Jason. Elli states, "I hated Jason, and he hated me. It was like he was trying to steal my best friend, even though I had stole Topic from him. I guess, if we’re acting as if Topic can’t make his own decisions." There, she awknowledges the irrationality of her dislike for him. I also like the fact that Elli isn't falling head over heels for every guy she knows. Although Topic is her best friend, they aren't a couple. As well, there is the mystery of her father.
And now we have Topic. Seeing as only two chapters have been posted, it's hard to get a really in-depth analyzation of the characters... Because there isn't much to analyze yet. xD But, anyways, back to the point. Topic(a pretty unique name), seems so far to be a very compassionate and cheerful character. He is very protective of Elli, and seems to care very much about her. " See, when I came here in 5th grade, Topic and Jason were the best of friends. I guess Topic felt bad for me, sense I had no friends, and couldn’t talk to anyone.
Topic had already known some ASL back then, but not much. Apparently he was studying it, for his own reasons that had never became known. One day on the playground I was sitting on the bench, reading, and Topic came over and sat next to me. He began to talk to me, as if I was normal. I had shook my head, indicating that I couldn’t speak, and did the sign for sorry.
He had gave me a smile, and said sorry. After that I began to experiment, and did the sign for easy things like cookie and thank you. He repeated what I had said. We were instant best friend after that, and had left Jason in the dust." The fragment, 'his own reasons that had never became known.' seems very curious to me. It seems important to me, somehow. Perhaps 'his own reasons' are a part of why Topic disappeared. I don't know... We'll have to wait and see. It also seems that Topic had a very close relationship with his uncle, because he wore the pendant his uncle gave him everywhere, except bed. "Once I recognized what it was, I knew that Topic had to have been killed or kidnapped. He didn’t go anywhere without his necklace, expect bed. The chain and the pendant was gold, the pendant was a crucifix. He said he got it from his dead uncle, who had died of swine flu the year before." Topic seems to me to be a very intruiging character, with a compassionate personality. I sure hope he wasn't killed. D:
Oh gosh... I feel like I am totally over-analyzing this. xD Oh well, I'll wrap it up soon... Probably.

So, now onto the plot, and then, j'ai fini! Yeah, my French is terrible. xD The plot is developing at a rapid pace -which is both a good and bad thing. The major pro, of course, is that, if the story continues to move at this pace, no one will get bored. xD And the major con is that the story might run out of ideas too soon. But, this could easily be remedied by beefing up some of the more neglected areas, such as the principal's visit, the woods-scene, Elli's visit to Topic's on Day 2 of her suspension, and the 4 o'clock A.M visit by Topic's mom. I like how the story is developing so far, the way little hints and clues have been dropped, and little brain-tweakers(that really is an odd word... xD). Overall, I like how the story is being written, and how the characters are beginning to take shape. I will be looking forwards to the next installment in A Silent Look On Life, and -Invisible-, you've just gained a stalker!
(Yeah, I am terrible at giving reviews. xD I try, I really do... But...)

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Story Being Reviewed: Scrollwalker, by Abby-normal
Reviewer: ιяιѕlуα
Spoilers? I do try my hardest to not write spoilers in my reviews, but inevitably, they always seem to wander in. So prepare yourself for minor spoilers XD
Rating: 3.7/5 stars

*may add more tomorrow, when I'm feeling a bit more inspired and not so sick*

This being my first review for The Bookstore, I was quite excited to get started. So, I promptly went to random.org and had the story I would be reviewing chosen for me at random. To my relief, it was a one-digit number. So I clicked on my story and waited patiently for the screen to load. And when it did finally load and I scrolled down to look at chapter one, my eyes widened, if only slightly. I was starring at the massive blocks of text and in my mind all I was thinking was, Iris, what have you gotten yourself into now... But, despite my first impression, Scrollwalker was surprisingly, an easy read. After you get over your phobia of giant blocks of text, you’ll find quite an enjoyable story. I would like to clarify here, that the seemingly unending walls text are due to a formatting problem with the author’s computer, and is not in any way related to poor layout on the author’s part. I am though including this in my review because it is a reality of reading the story, and one will need to address it if they wish to read accordingly. Aside from the usual, albeit minor, grammar and spelling mistakes, I didn't find many glaring errors within the story.

Now as one can imagine, the story progression came slowly (although quickly at the same time, if such a thing is even possible...), which paired with the lack of separation among paragraphs, made for a difficult start on my part. The hum-drum of normal human life was settling over me and truthfully, I put off reading chapter two for a day. But readers do not fear! Once I hit chapter three, I was hooked like a fish on a... well... on a hook. I got my plot twists! I got my supernatural...ness! I got some mystery! I was thrilled to find that I was actually now enjoying my reading.

I'm going to tell you all this now, because I'm quite sure it will be popping up amongst the rest of my reviews. I call it, the bathroom test. And no, it's not in the way that you're all thinking of (though I'm not quite sure what it is you are thinking of ). This is how I determine if I find a book truly interesting. After my showers in the morning I like to come back to my bedroom so that I can either (a) get in some extra sleep (b) choose what I'm going to wear or (c) read my current book(s). This morning happened to be a case of (c). I was reading some more of Scrollwalker, knowing that I had to complete my review, and I found that 7:50 had rolled around (it is at this time that I return to the bathroom to dry my hair). So I picked up my laptop, and brought it with me. I read while I was drying my hair, while I brushed my teeth, while I put on eye makeup (which let me tell you is a difficult thing to do whilst trying to read), while I put on other makeup, and the list goes on. That my friends, is the bathroom test. If you continue to read through your morning routine, then you are truly hooked on a good book.

But let's get back to the review here shall we? *SPOILER ALERT! IF YOU WISH TO SKIP THE SPOILERS MOVE ON TO THE LAST PARAGRAPH!* Maia and Vida Callows' parents' have just recently died. Vida receives notice of this and is told that she and her sister shall be going to live with their (until recently) unknown Uncle John. On their way to their Uncle's house the girls encounter a pair of their Uncle's strange helpers, Lauren and Piper, on the train. We know something's odd about them from the moment Lauren magically appears next to Maia. And when we find her companion Piper waiting in Vida's train compartment, our minds instantly begin to spin. It isn't until a few sentences later that we find out the truth behind Lauren and Piper. They're ghosts. (Piper is in blue, Vida in purple. Just did this for easier understanding)

Where to begin? “Well, about my uncle, how long have you known him?” “Thirty-five years.” Vida was confused. “But, you hardly look older than seventeen.” He grinned and said, “Yeah, I know.” She frowned again and said “uh, ok.” Piper raised an eyebrow and offered her his hand. “This might explain some things.” He said. Vida looked confused. “Just touch it,” he said, moving closer. She stretched out her own arm and prepared to grasp his warm, rough hand in hers. Except she didn’t. Her hand went right through his. She stepped back and gasped. “I know,” he said soothingly, “it’s confusing, surprising and a bit scary the first time it happens, but it’s real." “You- you’re a-” “Ghost.”

I'd just like to say this, because you all know you think it to. Piper is a good-looking, 17-19 year-old appearing, British ghost. We all know where this is going to go, am I right? I'm kidding, really.....not really....Now let me get back on track. Although I do enjoy the story, and find it amusing at times, there was one point where I stared at what I'd just read and internally shook my head. This time is as follows: so later today (or well later on in the day but earlier from now... ..... I think I just broke my brain) I was reading through I believe chapter seven or eight, though I could be mistaken, was when I found myself internally shaking my head. Uncle John was talking with some unknown boy and girl about sending Vida and Maia to 'the academy' to 'enhance their magical abilities.' It was here that my mind chimed in "Hogwarts. They're so going to Hogwarts." Now I haven't read far past this chapter yet, so whether or not they got to Hogwarts has yet to be determined (though I find this highly unlikely, them going off to this aforementioned 'academy'), but I can't have been the only one thinking this.

The one other bothersome thing I found about the book, was Piper's lack of mass. And I don't mean his weight, at least, not in the way you're all thinking. We find out he is a ghost because Vida's hand falls through his when she tries to touch it. But later on it is stated:

Piper was sitting on the floor in front of the door, nursing a slight bruise on his nose.

How is that possible if solid objects can pass right through him? Oh well, I suppose I'm being a tad to nit-picky. But I suppose this is because I've talked with the author and feel I owe it to Abby to be a bit more critical. And can I just say this, Abby is probably one of the nicest, most well-mannered people I've met here on CS!

So all-in-all, I am enjoying Scrollwalker. Are the giant blocks of text a bit bothersome, yes. Is it easy to get over this irrational fear of them, absolutely. This is definitely a book worth reading, so go on, don't let all the words scare you, read it! I promise you won't be disappointed. I'm sorry this review wasn't such a serious analysis this time 'round, but, the book makes me feel upbeat and happy. I mean, you have Uncle John and hypnotists who make young girls do cartwheels around the breakfast table in the morning, how does that not make you smile?

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Story Being Reviewed: The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse by Abby-normal
Reviewer: ιяιѕlуα
Spoilers? I'd say there may be some, though you won't understand until you actually read the story
Rating: 4/5 stars

Iris Hath Returned

Good evening my lovely angel cakes! Actually, it may not be evening for you all... oh well. As you can probably tell from that title up there, Iris hath returned from the depths of her pathetic excuse for a social life. Well, her pathetic excuse for a social life is still happening, but she has more time for CS now that her friends have real jobs like her xD And now she's talking in the third person... great. Anyway chickadees, this thread hasn't been feeling the love in quite some time, and a lovely little PM reminded me of this last week. If any of you read my last review, you will remember it was by the author Abby-normal. Now Abby just so happened to PM me last week, asking if I would review her new story, "The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse," for her. So because her last story was a joy to review, I accepted. Thus this creation was born.

Now on to the story. Upon clicking the link I was very pleased to find that this time 'round there was absolutely no giant blocks of text anywhere to be found. Nice, lovely spaced paragraphs awaited me. My eyes breathed a sigh of relief and I immediately dove into reading. And angels, I was absolutely hooked. Honest to goodness, I sat in my bed all morning and read through the entire thing. It went beyond the bathroom test(see last review for reference), I didn't even get up and get ready. I sat in bed, eyes glued to my laptop screen for a good hour or two. Now Abby's last story had me hooked by chapter three, this one had me hooked by sentence three. I'm warning you all right now, if you're thinking about reading this, make sure you have at least two hours set aside to do so, because you will not be able to stop.

I would say that my last statement is even more so true for lovers of Fantasy. Obviously you can't please everyone, and this book probably won't appeal to you if you hate anything that isn't realistic. But I, my friends, am an avid lover of the Fantasy genre. Abby did an absolutely fantastic job creating the setting for this story. It seems to be set in a bit older era (and for me, that means everything, I adore anything not modern xD), the different streets are unique, and neighborhoods realistic and diverse. It was a believable land of imagination, one that I could instantly picture in my mind. When "Trident Street" was described, I instantly wanted to visit. I then remembered that I was reading a story, one which takes place in a different world...

And as for the characters, you ask? They were fantastic. Exactly what I anticipated from Abby. They were exceptionally distinctive, and weren't your average, run-of-the-mill characters. They were funky and unique. I especially loved the fact that the protagonist was twelve-years old, and not just another teenage wackado that we see so much of (raises guilty hand ). That's what I love about Abby's stories, everything from her characters, to her ideas are original and different. Which brings me to another point, the powers her characters possessed. Some were your average powers such as mind-reading, but others, like Todd's, were so outside-of-the-box I had to wonder if Abby even knew where the box was whilst writing them down.

Of course, every rose has it's thorns, and there were a few downsides that kept me from upping my rating of this story. There were the usual, but rather small, grammar and spelling problems I noticed because things like that generally jump out at me so that I come off as an obnoxious perfectionist. Also, the plot took a rather quick twist in chapter... I believe four after it had already taken a twist in the previous chapter. This isn't to say it's necessarily a bad thing, I just wanted a bit more of a relationship to develop between Djinni and Todd before they were separated. Her worrying over someone she just met was a little unrealistic in my opinion, but acceptable nonetheless. Unlike "Scrollwalker" after dialogue Abby didn't write "she said" or "he said" quite as often, but enough for me to want a bite more diversity. Aside from that I didn't see any brightly glaring mistakes.

So in-short, set aside time if you're going to read, because trust me you won't be able to get up and walk away until you've finished. If you're a lover of originality, surprise, and fantasy you'll absolutely adore this story! There may be a few spelling and grammar mistakes here and there, but honestly, who doesn't have those nowadays? I'm not even going to give you lovelies a summary, because I want you to be completely and utterly surprised when you read this! Now shoo! Hurry along and read before I get cross with you! Iris be watching ya'll! And as a note to Abby, you've gained a new stalker