LORD OF THE RINGS!!!

[Bilbo Baggins.]

"Merry!"
"What?"
"I'm hungry!"

[Pinstriped Pirates]

(I hit the JACKPOT on LOtR quotes xD)

Frodo: Before you came along, we Bagginses were very well thought of.
Gandalf: Indeed?
Frodo: Never had any adventures or did anything unexpected.
Gandalf: If you're referring to the incident with the Dragon, I was barely involved. All I did was give your uncle a little nudge out of the door.
Frodo: Whatever you did, you've been officially labeled a disturber of the peace.

Gandalf: Confound it all, Samwise Gamgee. Have you been eavesdropping?
Sam: I ain't been droppin' no eaves sir, honest. I was just cutting the grass under the window there, if you'll follow me.
Gandalf: A little late for trimming the verge, don't you think?
Sam: I heard raised voices.
Gandalf: What did you hear? Speak.
Sam: N-nothing important. That is, I heard a good deal about a ring, and a Dark Lord, and something about the end of the world, but... Please, Mr. Gandalf, sir, don't hurt me. Don't turn me into anything... unnatural.

Bilbo: Are all these children yours? Gracious, you have been productive.

Bilbo: [enigmatically] You're a good lad, Frodo. I'm very selfish, you know. Yes, I am. Very selfish. I don't know why I took you in after your mother and father died but it wasn't out of charity. I think it was because... of all my numerous relations, you were the one Baggins that showed real spirit.
Frodo: Bilbo, have you been at the Gaffer's home brew?
Bilbo: No.
[pause]
Bilbo: Well, yes, but that's not the point...

Bilbo: My dear Bagginses and Boffins, Tooks and Brandybucks, Grubbs, Chubbs, Hornblowers, Bolgers, Bracegirdles and Proudfoots!
Everard Proudfoot: Proudfeet!

Bilbo: You will keep an eye on Frodo, won't you?
Gandalf: Two eyes, as often as I can spare them.

[after falling down a hill]
Merry: I think I've broken something.
[pulls out a broken carrot]

Pippin: Oh... That's nice. Ash on my tomatoes!

Merry: [On Midgewater Marshes] What do they eat when they can't get hobbit?

Legolas: Lembas!
[nibbles a corner]
Legolas: One small bite is enough to fill the stomach of a grown man!
Merry: [to Pippin] How many did you eat?
Pippin: Four.
[burps]

Gandalf: I once knew every spell in all the tongues of Elves... Men... and Orcs.
Pippin: What are you going to do, then?
Gandalf: Knock your head against these doors, Peregrin Took! And if that does not shatter them, and I am allowed a little peace from foolish questions, I will try to find the opening words.

Gimli: Nobody tosses a dwarf.
Gimli: Not the beard!

Pippin: Are we lost?
Merry: No.
Pippin: I think we are.
Merry: Shh. Gandalf's thinkin'.
Pippin: Merry?
Merry: What?
Pippin: I'm hungry.

Gandalf: [pointing to a tunnel] There!
Merry: He remembered!
Gandalf: No, but the air doesn't smell so foul here. If in doubt, Meriadoc, always follow your nose.

[Merry and Pippin are leading the orcs away from Frodo]
Pippin: It's working!
Merry: I know it's working! Run!

Treebeard: We have just agreed...
[Merry and Pippin lean in]
Merry: Yes?
Treebeard: I have told your names to the Entmoot, and we have agreed you are not orcs.
Pippin: Well, that's good news.

Treebeard: I always like going South; somehow, it feels like going downhill.

Faramir: Good Speech. Nice and short.
Boromir: Leaves more time for drinking!

Aragorn: Gimli, lower your axe.
Legolas: They have feelings, my friend. The elves began it, waking up the trees, teaching them to speak.
Gimli: Talking trees. What do trees have to talk about, hmm... except the consistency of squirrel droppings?

[after meeting with Gandalf in Fangorn Forest]
Aragorn: In one thing you haven't changed, my friend - you still speak in riddles.

Gimli: [out of breath] I'm wasted on cross-country! We Dwarves are natural sprinters, very dangerous over short distances.
Gimli: Keep breathing. That's the key. Breathe.

Gimli: [failing to see over the wall] What's happening out there?
Legolas: Shall I describe it to you?
Gimli: [turns] Hmm?
Legolas: Or would you like me to find you a box?
[Gimli laughs]

Gimli: Oh come on, we can take 'em.
Aragorn: It's a long way.
Gimli: Toss me.
Aragorn: What?
Gimli: I cannot jump the distance, you'll have to toss me.
[pauses, looks up at Aragorn]
Gimli: Don't tell the elf.
Aragorn: Not a word.

[after Legolas has shot and killed a Warg heading toward Gimli]
Gimli: But that one counts as mine!

Pippin: I feel like I'm back at the Green Dragon.
Merry: [through a mouthful of food] Mm. Green Dragon.
Pippin: A mug of ale in my hand, putting my feet up on a settle after a hard day's work.
Merry: Only, you've never done a hard day's work.

[Aragorn rides towards the Mouth of Sauron]
The Mouth of Sauron: And who is this? Isildur's heir? It takes more to make a king that a broken Elvish blade...
[Aragorn cuts off the Mouth of Sauron's head with one stroke of Anduril]
Gimli: I guess that concludes negotiations.

Gimli: There's plenty for the both of us, may the best dwarf win.

King of the Dead: Release us.
Gimli: Bad idea. Very handy in a tight spot, these lads, despite the fact they're dead.

[Bilbo Baggins.]

wow... What did you do, google it? thats... awesome!! I love quoting lotr to confuse my friends

[SamhokuFoopets]

That is cool.

[Bilbo Baggins.]

wow... What did you do, google it? thats... awesome!! I love quoting lotr to confuse my friends

its funny to see their reactions when i randomly say... well, its in my signature

[Pinstriped Pirates]

Hahaha I got it off yahoo answers ^^ I just looked up LOtR quotes and google gave me it.

[Bilbo Baggins.]

ive done that before when im running out of stuff to confuse people with...

[Pinstriped Pirates]

Hahahahaha xD

[Bilbo Baggins.]

yesterday i was watching the second disc of the extended edition of the Return of the King and my mom came in and sat down to watch it even though she has never seen any of the movies or read the books. she kept saying "now, who is that? why is he riding around on a horse in the city? why is the city all white? ew, what is that weird thing that looks like a potato? oh, thats terrible! theyre all killing each other!!" and a bunch of other questions. every five seconds i had to pause it to explain a looooong back story for the umpteenth time. yea. it was annoying (:

[Pinstriped Pirates]

Lol that's like with me and my dad!