Our Aspiring Writers League (O.A.W.L)

[Nimble Awesomeness]

Username: Niomblestep
What will we call you: Nim, or Nimble, or Nimblestep. But Nim is fine.
What are your goals as an author? Hrm...

1. Well, stop making my writing sound like I live 80 years ago and like I have an British accent, so that's one.

2. Write way more. I know I don't write enough, it's a miracle that I had that dream to strike up enough muse in me to write that half a page.

3. Read more of other people's writing, not just full-on books.

Can you give us a sample of your writing?

One can sometimes find one’s self wondering about the mystical ideas and going-on’s that take place when one is dreaming. One can think about what one has dreamt about the previous night, or what one will dream about the coming night. This one’s name is Jimmy. He is a peculiar child who is peculiarly clever. Someone could easily look at Jimmy and pass him off as just another dim-witted, non-attentive eleven-year-old boy, but that, Jimmy was not. His mind was usually whirling and twisting around in his head, often making him oblivious to the world going on around him.
This is what he was doing now. As he sat gazing wistfully out the window of Edwin’s School for Proper Young Boys, ESPYB for short, his teacher was rambling on about Shakespeare’s Hamlet. Right now he was at the point of discussing the complexity and fragileness of Hamlet’s mind right after his love, Ophelia, jumped off a cliff and drowned. You would think, “Why in the world is a proper boys school teaching young, delicate minds about such uncanny matters?” That’s what the boys at ESPYB want to know. Of course, the students didn’t mind the subject so much as how boring it was. More likely how badly it was taught. The teachers at ESPYB often droned on and on about the most random things in the most random writings and the boys knew not a thing about.
Luckily for Jimmy, he could easily slip in and out of reality through one ear and out the other. Metaphorically of course. Right now he was pondering the consequences of dying in ones dream. Obviously, you would wake up. That’s what happens when you fall off a cliff, or get shot in the back by a llama. (Jimmy had once dreamed that you know.) But what happens when you’re nearly dead? Jimmy wondered to himself. Would you just, wake up? Or would the pain be so excruciating that you just couldn’t bare it and you died, forcing yourself to wake up? Jimmy saw it fit to tune back in to his near-robotic teacher at this moment. He was not uncomfortable with the subject of gore, which he supposed was a good thing considering the usual works of Shakespeare, but perhaps this wasn’t something to dwell on.

Are you currently working on any books? ^ That. The story of 11-year-old Jimmy No-Last-Name and his drabblings in dreaming.
Why do you want to join? Because.. I want to talk about writing xP
Do you have published books yet? No. Not at all. xD Not even close.
Do you wish to find a "writing partner"? No thank you c: I'm way too picky/lazy to share writing responsibility's with someone.
What Role(s): ... Herpderp?
What's your favorite Genre? Fantasy most likely. Also, whatever Shakespeare is. xD I like science fiction, and fiction.. I like a lot of stuff, ok!? :U
What kind of books do you write? Uhh... ^That one. (That's the beginning, for anyone who cares.)

[seeker,]

Ughh. I'm going crazy!
I have so many ideas in my mind but as soon as I put them onto paper or write them down it word, I suddenly feel like they aren't good enough or that I have no where to go with the plot line. -sigh-
Does anyone else feel like this? It's going to be the death of me. I swear. ;3;

[Nimble Awesomeness]

^Oh my gosh, this SO much! I can't think of ANYTHING to happen after what I have right up there. It's like, I know Jimmy is going to dream a lot.. Annnnd go. Ok mind, go. Anytime now. Go. *facepalm*

[Nimble Awesomeness]

*Tentatively raises hand* I can give good critique with minimal bashing! 8D Bwahaha!

And herro :3

Guise. I'm out of ideas. Guise. Guise look, an idea. Guise, my idea just floated away. <Me right now.

[Chef Kitty]

So... I'm assuming I can post.
I know how you feel, Raven. Luckily I've been improving my writer's self-esteem by trying to compete with my other writer friends. Try it; you may see yourself improving in vocabulary and popularity.
Also I'd like you guys to tell me what you think of this plot line. I wrote some of it a few years ago but it all floated away.
So there's this family and their house burns down. The main character, a boy (I forgot what his original name was), let's call him Richard, and his family have to find a new home. They find a house in the country (Richard calls it the middle of nowhere) and decide to live there.
So they live there for a while and Richard and his little brother (or sister) find this old backpack in a closet with an old photo album.
And their pictures are in it.

[Apperception]

Hey, if you're looking for another moderator position I'll take it if you wish, and if you think I'm up to standards for it hehe.

@Chasing Fire
It sounds very intriguing, an interesting idea! I do believe it's original enough to make into a fantastic book that would definitely catch the readers attention; if written correctly. From the look of your writing, though, I'm sure you could pull it off flawlessly.

[Chef Kitty]

That sounds like a lovely story. I love futuristic books that don't involve lasers and robots, etc. like Star Trek (even though I love sci-fi things anyway). Your idea reminds me of the book The Line, but only because of the corrupt future world.
Yes, you should write it.

[uhtan]

[b]Username:SilentWarrior
[b]What will we call you:Shine
[b]What are your goals as an author?
To publish a book
TO prove that anything is possible
TO express myself
[b]Can you give us a sample of your writing?
Metropolitan


Chapter one: Truancy
“Hey, Holly, get over here!”
Holly weaved her way through the shadowed streets of Met City, the tall, glass windowed buildings looming over her head.
“Holly! Just because we’re skipping on school doesn’t mean you get to wander like that!”
“Solar, you don’t run around bellowing about skipping school!” Holly called out to the person who she knew was following her. Solar caught up to Holly and grinned slyly.
“I guess so. Don’t want the MetOfficers catching us.”
Holly smiled and blew her silvery blue bangs out of her eyes.
“I suppose not. That would really ruin your chances of becoming a MetDeputy, wouldn’t it?”
“I suppose so.”
Solar agreed. Just then, the two girls heard footsteps behind them.
If they’re MetOfficers, we’re dead. Or maybe they’re dead. Holly truly hoped she had remembered to charge up her ArmCannon last night. Oh, yeah, it was solar powered. Sometimes Holly forgot just how smart she was.
Holly, personally, was also worried about her own career. If you were to be a MetWarrior, you had to obey the laws. Her father had been one, and her mother wanted for Holly to follow in his footsteps. Holly felt as though she was more suited to a MetOwner, knowing full well she could easily start her own computer company. The design she had made for her ArmCannon was quite good by her standards.
Solar, on the other hand, was much more carefree, although still cared about becoming a MetDeputy, and possibly even a MetLeader. Despite her odd personality, she was able to one minute act kind and caring and the next cruel and sadistic, Holly felt like the slightly elder girl had a good chance. Sure, maybe she wore blue a little too much, but still. Solar was smart, although her poor grades on her CompTests and FinalScores didn’t show it.
Anyway, their careers were at stake, and Holly figured that now would probably be a good time to hide somewhere. The problem was, there was nowhere to go.
“In here!” exclaimed Solar, pointing to a narrow, hidden alleyway only able to be spotted with Solar’s well-designed MechaGlasses. And just big enough for two skinny teenage girls to fit in. Smiling, Holly followed Solar into the crevice, hoping her ArmCannon wouldn’t be too bulky.
Solar had already gone through, and Holly was just about to get through when she felt something stop her. Her ArmCannon was too bulky after all.
“Just leave it! You can make another!” cried Solar, knowing that the MetOfficers must nearly be upon them.
“I can’t!” cried Holly, afraid of both the MetOfficers and losing her ArmCannon.
“Just do it!” exclaimed Solar, grabbing Holly’s arm to drag her in.
Holly shoved the other girl backwards and pressed a button on her ArmCannon, so it would charge up energy for a strike. The MetOfficers may have their FlashStrikers, but I have a cannon.
As the first MetOfficer rounded the corner, Holly suddenly questioned her decision. Not only its morality, but her chances of survival. The MetOfficers were equipped with high-quality Neuro-Armor suits, rendering almost any attack useless. Another problem was the power of their FlashStrikers. Holly had light armor, a field of electricity generated by wires and ports attached to her skin beneath her shirt. And yet, despite how strongly the odds weighed against her, Holly felt more powerful than ever.
“Holly!”
Solar knew that once the younger girl was in a fight, it was useless to try to stop her. All the same, it felt like it was Solar’s duty to her friend. Solar had nothing but a small RayBlaster in her blue hoodie pocket, with an extra laser clip, and a stun clip in the pocket of her navy jeans. Not very good for what she and her friend would be up against. But better than nothing.
Silently, Solar slipped out from the alley, knowing full well that Holly would be angry about knowing she was supporting her, but be happy about it later.
Soon, the street was filled with four MetOfficers. Carefully, Holly raised her ArmCannon, hoping to get them all in just one hit. The blaster on its own would not have had sufficient power, but with the added boost of sunlight and human energy, Holly figured that maybe she could blast a few holes in their armor, and send them all flying.
Solar, meanwhile, had drawn her gun, careful not to let the rustling of her blue-black hair alert her silver-haired partner of her presence.
Holly had narrowed her blue eyes in concentration, and was staring down her arm, trying to aim.
“You kids are getting back to school!” said one of the MetOfficers.
Holly just shrugged, her aqua vest falling down off her shoulders, exposing more of the black t-shirt she had on beneath. Her boots were planted firmly in the ground, and she tweaked a wire on her cannon before letting all hell break loose.
A blast of white-hot energy shot from her cannon, surprising everyone, including Solar, and slamming into the nearest MetOfficer.
Dang, thought Holly, this was a bad career move. But all the same, for the first time using it, this ArmCannon is pretty good.
Solar was privately glad she wasn’t the one taking the full force of that beam. Not like she’d tell Holly. That girl had a huge self-esteem as it was. A little too huge, if you asked Solar.
The MetOfficer that Holly hit was slumped on the ground, a large scorch mark on his armor.
One of the three remaining MetOfficers called for his cronies to back him up, seemingly unfazed. The other officers didn’t seem so sure about challenging the girl.
Still silent, Solar aimed her RayBlaster, which had a knockout cartridge in it. Without any sudden movement, she quietly shot the officer in the only unprotected place, the head, and sent him tumbling to the ground, unconscious.
Confused and unsure of where the shot had come from, the remaining MetOfficers ran off.
“I guess we shouldn’t show our faces around town anytime soon,” commented Holly, readjusting her vest and nodding to the electronic holographic billboard hovering over the city. Solar, wondering how Holly had known she was there, craned her neck to get a better look.
Wanted: Holly and Solar, MetStudents at MetStudyElectronic joint 4. Substantial rewards.
Above the lettering were two images, one of Holly with her blaster up and aimed, and one of Solar quietly shooting the guard. The billboards had cameras built in, and anyone who was a MetOfficer or higher simply had to look at the photographs the camera had taken, select some, type in what the board would say on their portable controller, and ta-da! The billboards would then post everything, displaying it to all the residents of Met City.
Solar sighed quietly. She wanted to blame Holly, but since they met, the two had devised plans together. So she supposed, after all, the fault was shared. Although Holly had told her that her shouts would attract MetOfficers.
Holly, meanwhile, was wondering how they would stay in hiding for that long. How would they eat, drink, and what about their families? Holly had a little brother, Flare, and her mother. Solar had twin older sisters, Scarlett and Ruby, as well as both her parents. Solar’s father was a high-ranking MetOwner, her mother a simple MetMother.
Solar then voiced Holly’s worries exactly, inquiring about how exactly they would be able to hide like this for this long.
Holly just shrugged. Sighing, Solar bit her lower lip anxiously.
“Come on. We need to find somewhere to shelter for the night.”
Solar allowed herself a slight grin. Holly might be good at getting them into trouble, but she was also a great leader.
“First, though, let’s get rid of this guy.”
Holly grabbed the MetOfficer Solar had knocked out and together the girls shoved him through the crevice they were about to hide in. The two girls quickly bumped fists before setting out to find a place to spend the night.
Solar kept pressing buttons on the side of her MechaGlasses, that were made for her by Holly, trying to figure out which button was night-vision.

Chapter two: Wanted
Solar followed Holly through the unappealing back alleyways, feeling that they were so different from the bustling city; they could hardly be called part of the city at all.
Holly strode confidently through them, looking more confident than she felt. But Solar and her lives (Well, outside of jail anyway) depended on it. The fear and uncertainty that had filled Holly when she was fighting the MetOfficers was now threatening to take over. But, no, it would not. Holly would not falter. And if Solar were to falter, Holly would help her. They could not afford to break now. Somehow, they would have to survive, or escape. Met City was said to be the only existing city, but Holly had her doubts. Why would they need an army? Perhaps that was where she and Solar could go. To a different city.
“Hey, Holly, where are you going?”
Holly snapped out of her thoughts at the sound of Solar’s voice.
“Oh, somewhere.”
Holly waved her non-mechanized hand in the air vaguely.
“For tonight, we stay here in the city. Tomorrow, we sat out for a new home!”

Solar furrowed her brow.
“But there aren’t any other cities!”
Holly laughed.
“Well, explain to me why else we would need an army if there was nothing to fight!”
Solar had no answer for that except for silence.
“Right, then. So, that’s the plan.” Holly was satisfied with her idea. Everything seemed to be falling into place.
“And once we arrive, we can contact our families via HoloMail.”
Solar shook her head.
“No. The MetOfficers can track that. It’s better they don’t know where we are at all.”
Sighing, Holly had to concede to the elder girl’s point. Although she was good at deciding on a whim, Solar had a skill she did not: The ability to plan ahead. Frustratingly enough.
Solar picked up her pace to a brisk walk, and Holly did the same.
“D’you know the time?” asked Holly, hopeful that Solar had her Electronic Holographic Multi System, EHMS for short. Every person was issued with one, for updates on time, weather, news, and access to games.
Solar shrugged sheepishly.
“I didn’t think we’d be wanted criminals by the end of the day.”
“Great. Just another bonus on our perfect day,” muttered Holly sarcastically.
“Well, they can track our EHMS’s as well.”
Holly hated it when her ideas were shown to be wrong. And twice in a row. How could it be?
Solar was smiling in a way similar to a crocodile’s: Congratulations. You get to be my dinner.
Holly ignored the girl, pretending to be indifferent to what Solar did. Pretending.
“Sooner or later I’m going to need more power for the rockets on my boots,” commented Holly, changing the subject.
“I wish I had a pair,” muttered Solar longingly.
“And we can’t buy anything either. They can track our PriceCards as well.”
Holly nodded at Solar’s comment, feeling irritated at everything that had gone on that day.
For what seemed like an eternity, the two girls trudged through the streets, feeling lower than they ever had. This had to be the worst off they had ever been. Not knowing what was in store for the future, and puzzled about the present.
“IS THERE ANYTHING THEY CAN’T TRACK!” cried Holly in frustration.
“Err…..” Solar honestly couldn’t think of anything at all.
“They can’t track… us?” she finally offered Holly, who shot her a dark look.
“Yes, Solar, we all appreciate your very witty comments.”
[b]Are you currently working on any books? Metropalitan, Ki Norir and Every Story has a Hero
[b]Why do you want to join? Because I love writing
[b]Do you have published books yet?I wish!
[b]Do you wish to find a "writing partner"?Not right now
[b]What Role(s):? WEll I am an author, specializing in fantasy and sci-fi
[b]What's your favorite Genre?FANTASY!
[b]What kind of books do you write?Fantasy, Sci-fi, realistic fiction, and I am a poet

[Redwall]

I realize I'm a little late, but.. I prefer writing in third person. First person just feels a little off for me, I have a hard time writing it. I feel like I'm talking about myself, and then that I'm talking too much. Third person is easier for some reason, I'm able to describe the character and what's going on better.

Kitty - your idea is interesting! Creepy, but I'm already wondering at what the story could possibly be. I would definitely want to read it (:
And as a side note, your character Alei is soooo cute!

Chasing Fire - I absolutely love that idea! Stories like that always capture my attention. I love books about the future, like what Kitty said ^

[Chef Kitty]

Redwall: Why thank you. I like Alei as well. :3

I guess I should throw out my opinion on 1st or 3rd person. Well here it is.
I like both, really. I feel comfortable writing in either perspective. Usually I write guys in 1st and girls in 3rd, but it does vary. For example, I think I would write the book about the photo album in 3rd, even though it has a guy as the main character.