Cold,lonely and hungry.(I live with my mother!)CS dog dairy

[Cane]

I'm not trying to offend anyone with this story!just to start out..


Hi,I'm Rodney!My age is a secret so don't ask me any question about my age.
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I live in New Pork City .(see what I did there,see?XD)Most animals who love pork (including me) live here since they have the best meat stores here.I live on Choppington street in a big apartment in room 208.My mother often tells me:
"RODNEY GET A LIFE!" "WHERES YOUR GIRLFRIEND,RODNEY?" "RODNEY YOUR COMICS ARE CLOGGING UP MY CLOSET!!" "RODNEY CLEAN MY SHOES!" "WHY DOES YOUR BROTHER HAVE A WIFE,CHILDREN,AND HIS OWN HOUSE AND YOU DON'T?!" "TAKE OUT THE TRASH!"

Yeah the woman nags but I love her <3 My mother thinks I have no friends but I do!Please don't laugh at me but he's a hobo who lives in the room across from us.His name is Fred.I wrote a song about him.

Ooh,My mother thought I was a great big PAI-IA-IA-IAN!!She said I couldn't make friends
Or even get a girlfriend!!But there came Fred the magic Hobo who lived across hall!Oh Fred,Oh
Fred,the magic Hobo!Fred!He is a hobo.But I love him.very dearly.LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!Fred,
Fred,Fred,Fred,Fred,Fred,Fred,FRED!!Oh yea I.Love.You.
FFFFRRRREEEEDDDD!!DUN DAAH!

Fred is the only guy who trusts me in Life. This is...The one...Thee only...FRED!
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Today I was walking downtown to my favorite Comic store and said hi to all the workers.(I know everyone since I got there often)
But when I went to pay for a poison maroon dragon and I saw the girl behind the counter.I never seen her before!I know everyone who works there,every comic book they sell,but I never seen her!Here's my conversation.I'll talk in blue she'll talk in pink.

Hi I would like to pay for uh,this.

Okay....*scans bar code.*That will be 6.50$ please!

So um,you new here?

Yeah I just moved here.

*Gives Money*I'm Rodney....

*Takes money*Uh okay.I'm Michelle.

Thanks.*walks out.*

I was so happy to meet her.I snuck a picture of her with my phone while she was scanning the bar code
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I ran back to the apartment and knocked on Fred's door.He opened the door and he was eating a chocolate bar.

Hey,Fred.

Yo,What up Rodiroonie my man?Come in,mannn.*crunches on chocolate bar*

*walks in* Fred when i wa- Fred I thought you were lactose intolerance!Why are you eating that??!!

Mannn,I was bored so I stared at paint drying on a building and I got hungry,so I just grabbed it and dugged in......mannn!I uh feel a disturbance in my universe.A watery and hard ONE....MAN!I HAVE TO GO......MAN!*Runs to bathroom*.


I walked around Fred's house and saw a strange painting with the word "Man" In the middle of it.



_______________________________________________________________________________________-

[dearly beloved]

xD this is hilarious

[Cane]

xD this is hilarious

Thank you!

[[Braveheart]]

Keep writing I'm dying here

[Cane]

I`m working on the next part right now.

[[Braveheart]]

GOOD

[Cane]

Later at night I had a dream about me being a super hero.
Pet's name: Joshua
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His name was Joshua the great!I was thinking about Michelle the girl I met at the Comic store,she just randomly appeared in my dream as "Princess Michelle".I had to rescue her from the evil wizard Fred.Wait why would Fred be evil?He's evil enough to the toilet like yesterday.But Fred being evil-evil that could NEVER happen.Well back on topic.

Fred had a bunch of evil guards in his grey stone castle.Okay again with the evil thing FRED IS NOT EVIL IN THE REAL WORLD!I woke up to the most disappointing,shocking,stressful sentence,

"RODNEY, YOUR BROTHER IS HERE!!!!!"I rose from my bed like lightning.Mr.Let me brag that I have a wife and you don`t has entered the house.Dressed in his fancy tux.I don`t hate him because he hates Chaotic Canine ,he dislikes me because I have
a diary!(No not Dairy Fred hates that stuff).Here`s a picture I took of him in his workshop
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Ooh I hate that guy like dairy doesn`t agree with Fred.


*walks into room*Hello brother of mine

I`m gonna tell everyone your secret..

What the Figibbles is wrong with you?!Telling another mans dear secret!

To late! RICHARD LOVES HORSE THAT ARE PINK!!

*Grabs comic*RODNEY LIKES COMICS||

*Chuckles*Everyone knows I love comics!Even chuck Norris!I write to him on his twitter!

Grr !! You Muffinmuncher!

Hey your suppose to be a good one and your the only one fake swearing here!

GRRR!I`m gonna rip your comics apart you Crackhole!

RODNEY I HEARD A SWEAR COME FROM YOUR ROOM! I`M GONNA COME IN THERE!

IT WAS RICHARD!

Then my mother tugged him outside and I heard screams.

I walked across the hall and knocked on the wizard-err Magic hobo`s house (Fred`s house).Fred came and opened the door for me.He was wearing a shirt that said "Mannnn is a Man word,Mannnn!"The hobo`s words always sound odd...
I wrote a loevly poem about him.

I stare out the door looking at you
With your words saying "Man I come closer to you"
He reaches to my hand holding a
chocolate bar and stuffs it in his mouth
Like an angry bear-a-tar.He screams and shouts:
MAN THE TSUNAMI IS RIGHT NEXT DOOR!he rushes to the
bathroom like a graceful ballerina just like he ate a spicy
Mexican tortia.

Fred was in the middle of braiding his beard.(I guess he`s trying to be braidy beard)

Yeah my brother was here but he sweared so my mom took him out like the trash even throw I`M the one who does that.

Man I got case full of Man games like Baby bonanzaa.

Uh Fred that`s a girl game for children.

Oh no wonder I saw barbies.I bought a ton since I thought that was the man section.

I looked in the closet and a swarm of dolls came out up to my knee.The hobo might not be the tastiest T-bone in Timmy`s tastys shack but I love him.like a pal!

I`m gonna go now...

Okay,Maaaaaaannnnnn.

Such a Chaotic day.Not as much Chaotic as Chaotic Canine!

[[Braveheart]]

Wow. Moar? -begging face-

[Autumn.]

Lol this just made me laugh.

[Cane]

I need ideas D:.Maybe I should make a little contest for new characters...?