Writers, UNITE!

[♥Black-cat-spirit♥]

workin' on finishing chapter 1 ^^ anybody else think chapter 1 is good so far? ^^

[brinh]

Mmm, I like it! You're good are writing with animal characters. :3

[♥Black-cat-spirit♥]

*blush* thank you ^^

[1D fan]

(Might join)

[Dr. Mirtachu]

I want to join the Writing Army!
Username (put in color you want me to put your name in): Mirtachu
Do you promise to write something at LEAST once a week? i will, i've got a lot of it xD
What's your favorite color? purple? xD
Animal? hamsters *3*
Fish? goldfish...
Type of mythical creature? fairies or mermaides
Do you like fairies, elves, or evil creatures? fairies!
Anything else (do not leave blank): not many people have seen my writings, but some of my friends did. the thing is that im croatian, so i would like to try do my writings in english...(i will not use google translator omg xD)

[Foxanna]

Finally! I wrote a book in real life and my CS friend found this (it's Mirtachu <3). o3o

I want to join the Writing Army!
Username (put in color you want me to put your name in): Foxanna
Do you promise to write something at LEAST once a week? Well, I have school, sorry. :I I'm not so sure, so, so sorry. Maybe I can, but just a small random text. Maybe.
What's your favorite color? Well, a mix of purple and dark pink. x3
Animal? Foxes!
Fish? Fish? xDDD Okay, I can go for the goldfish, I guess
Type of mythical creature? I like fairies a lot, mermaids, unicorns too xDDD, but I'll go for fairies :3 <3
Do you like fairies, elves, or evil creatures? Wait, I've just answered xD Fairies, but I like elves too (I've played WoW :3)
Anything else (do not leave blank): Well, I need to say that my English isn't so good because I'm from Croatia, just like Mirtachu :I EDIT: and Wolfy Maiden but I don't really suck, I just never wrote something on English except when I chat with someone

[min yoongi]

I want to join the Writing Army!
Username (put in color you want me to put your name in): Wolfy Maiden
Do you promise to write something at LEAST once a week? Yes,but it's probably going to be short,Maths is killing me x.x
What's your favorite color? Light lilac,but this tends to change a lot :3
Animal? Wolf,or just about any kind of canine.
Fish? Beta fish
Type of mythical creature? Dragons
Do you like fairies, elves, or evil creatures? Evil creatures
Anything else (do not leave blank):I'm from Croatia too (x3),but I have advanced English and spellchecker,and please call me Wolfy,Kat,Kate,Katy,or just about any variation of my name (Katarina)
I have a FF account,but I don't post anything on it xDDD

[Lillyfur]

This is the first part of a story I'm writing. Could you comment on things to improve, and such please?

Kara walked down the street, looking around her intently. Fine homes stood on both sides of the walkway. Kara looked the part of a noble. Her clothes were richly made, but if you looked closely you would see they were too small, and had multiple stains. She was tall for a ten year old, with light brown hair, neatly pulled into two ponytails. She had light skin dotted with freckles, and light green eyes. Running down the left side of her face was a large scar, extending from the top of her forehead across her eye and stopping below her cheekbone. She kept her head down, and walked at a brisk pace. Up ahead was a large house, with an elaborate garden trail leading up to it. Looking around, she crept down the path. Hiding in a clump of bushes, she knelt down. Before her was a small ivy plant. Slowly she extended her hand, and the plant turned slightly greener. It was a sickly little thing, dying with a lack of sunlight. She touched the tip of the largest vine, and it wraped itself around her hand. It crawled up her arm until it reached her shoulder. The plant grew greener, and the vines stronger. Suddenly, a loud voice broke the silence. "You! What are you doing here?!?" Kara jumped up, and the small vine came with her. A short, stout man was facing her, his face beet red. "I-I can explain!" Kara stuttered. "You better," the man growled, "Because you're tresspassing, stealing, and, judging by the look of you, a runaway." Kara gulped. This man woulden't let her go easily. The man turned to the house. "Guards," he yelled, "Grab her!" Kara tried to run, but a fat hand closed around her wrist. "You're not going anywhere little girl." the noble growled. Kara tried to run, but he man's grip was too strong. Guards dressed in fancy uniforms burst through the bushes. "Sir!" The lead guard said. "What do you want us to do with her?" The man scowled at Kara. "Take her to the nearest prison cell and see if anyone is missing a child." He said coldly. The man turned and threw her down at the guard's feet. She tried to get up and run, but they were too fast for her. The lead guard grabbed her hands, and twisted them painfully behind her back. The ivy vine, which was still holding on to her arm, tightened its grip on her. The guards turned and started to drag her down the path back towards the main road. "Great." She thought. "Just great."
. . .
"Next, Brendon Magoroy." the judge's voice echoed in the large court room. The jury turned to see a short man walk in, dragging a small girl behind him. "please state your buisness sir." the judge said indifferently. The man cleared his throught, and looked up at the judge. "I found this,"the man shook the girl for impasis, "girl on my private estates. She was tresspassing, and was trying to steal one of my expencive plants. I thought she was a runaway, but it's been three weeks and none have claimed her. So, as the law states, I brought her here for judgement." He threw the girl down at the judge's feet. The girl looked up, fear in her eyes. "What is your name, child?" the judge boomed. "And get up off that floor!" the girl hurridly pulled herself up. "M-my n-name is K-Kara sir." the girl stuttered, staring at the ground. "Kara," the judge said, "do you have a family? and don't lie to me." Kara stared at her feet, and mumbled, "No sir." the judge sat up, and sighed. "Then we will have to enforce the chaild laws. You may choose between these fates. You may become a slave to the man that found you, and he may do whatever he wishes with you, or you can be sentenced to jail for the rest of your life. Kara thought this over. She had a better chance of escaping as a slave, but she was scared of what the man might do to her. Jail. Slavery. Hard choice.... She thought for a few moments longer and said, "I chose to work for this man." she said in a strong voice, trying to hold back the fury that was shaking her. The judge brought down his mallet with a loud bang, and said, "It is decided. I will sign the paperwork." Strong hands grabbed Kara from behind, and dragged her out of the room. They deposited her in the same cell she had spent the night in before, and locked the door. She leapt up, and pounded on the cold iron, letting off some of her fury. She sank to the ground a moment later, tears streaminng down her face. Suddenly a cool vine touched her hand, wrapping itself around her and leanding her strength. It was the same vine from the night before. It had chosen to pull its roots, and go with her. She stroked it gently, avoiding the new leaves that were growing in place of the dry, withered one from before.

[TrebleMaker]

Lillyfur - It's really good! The only suggestion I have, would be to separate the paragraphs, and when different people are speaking. ;3

Would any one like to critique what I've got so far? Just ask me and I can post it here.

[Lillyfur]

Sure! I will.