Party Crasher (a ghost story)

[Sen507]

Well, I usually don't post my writing but I've decided that it's time I show a story or two to someone, and who better than a bunch of random people across the world who I don't know? XD Well anyway, here's part of a story that I'm writing now, if you don't like ghost stories don't read. Also I know it's not very good writing this is a VERY rough draft.

Chapter 1:

Kin felt a jolt in his stomach as the car whipped around a tight corner at lightning speed.
“Slow down!” he urged Aron, clutching the leather seat in fear.
“Oh, come on Kin, you’re such a wimp!” Aron laughed scornfully and pressed his foot on the accelerator. Kaida frowned disapprovingly.
“Just because you got your driver’s license doesn’t mean you should be reckless, in fact children who have just learned to drive get in the most crashes out of all age groups!” she persuaded hoping to have an effect on her boyfriend’s driving. Aron snorted out a laugh.
“First of all, I am not a child, and second,” he said jerking around another corner, “that is because their friends are annoying them while they try to concentrate on driving.” Kaida and Kin exchanged smiles.
“Fine, though I think the only thing you’re concentrating on is scaring us until we wet our pants!” Kin joked though he kept a fearful eye on the road. The car bumped vigorously as they went over a hole in the road. Kin gripped his seatbelt. Kaida giggled.
Aron sighed and muttered,
“Shut up!” They were quiet for a short while knowing that Aron was a bad driver without being distracted.
“So,” Kaida asked breaking the silence, “do you think your parents will notice what time it is when we get home?” She laughed remembering the awesome party they had been at for the last five hours.
“Nah, mine will be sleeping, I’ll just tell them I got home right after they went to bed,” Kin laughed nervously hoping he wouldn’t get in trouble with his parents for coming home so late. He looked at the glowing digital clock in front of him, the time 1:24 AM glowed in a dim blue light on the screen. Kin groaned.
“What? Is it past your bedtime?” Aron asked a wide grin spreading across his face. Kin scowled in response.
“You two…” Kaida said shaking her head like they were two lost causes but Kin could see she had a smile on her face. They were all in great moods since their return from Lily’s sweet sixteen party. None of them had done their homework, yet at that moment it didn’t seem to matter. The rain pattered softly on the windows making a light tapping noise in the background. The motor emitted a soft hum to accompany this and together the sound was actually quite soothing. Though, Kin could see that Kaida was tempted to pull out her iPod anyways. Kin looked out the window and watched as the water streamed down the pane. Lightning flashed across the sky with a brilliant bang. A cold chill ran down Kin’s spine and he shuddered with fright, lightning always freaked him out.
“Scared?” Aron asked swerving the car across the road recklessly and blocking both lanes.
“Don’t do that!” Kin shrieked his heart pounding.
“Aron, you really shouldn’t try to do dangerous things, if you think it will impress me I am afraid you’re wrong, it won’t, it will just remind me how very immature boys are,” Kaida remarked playfully. It was freezing in the small car and the windows were all misted up.
“I’m the one driving here!” Aron yelled, silencing the car. Kaida looked over the front seat and rolled her eyes at Kin, he laughed. Then Kin bit his lip, suddenly nervous. He looked out at the pouring rain, it was pitch black and he couldn’t see a thing.
“Are-are you sure you know where you’re going?” he stuttered to Aron trying to peer out the windshield yet all he could see was rain and darkness. For once that night Aron looked scared.
“Y-yeah, sure,” he replied squinting to try and see in the darkness.
“Are you ok, Aron? We were just playing around… I should probably shut up now to help you drive, right?” Kaida asked trying to calm Aron. He nodded, his face blank of expression. Another roll of thunder crashed through the sky and Kin shrieked like a little girl. This made everyone grin and loosen up a little though the mood in the car was still tense. Kaida aimlessly fiddled with the zipper on her blue flower-pattern backpack, which lay at her feet.
“Who cares about what our parents are going to think, what will our teachers do when we tell them we decided to go to a party instead of doing our homework? I have a chemistry exam on Friday!” she blurted as if suddenly realizing the full toll this trip would take on her academic records. She expected Aron to make some witty remark about her being a teacher’s pet but he remained silent, this scared her more than any threat he could make. Suddenly they heard the roar of a large engine nearby.
“Woe, what is that?” Kin asked as he saw a pair of headlights barreling toward them. Kaida gasped.
“Oh my God! It’s a truck!” She cried shrilly. Aron just sat there looking extremely confused and scared almost like he couldn’t believe what was happening.
“What the h*ll are you waiting for?” Kin asked fear showing clearly on his pale face, his blonde hair hanging messily over his eyes. His mind whirred with possible tactics to evade this disaster but he didn’t have time to put any to use, the truck was nearly on them. In the last second Aron clutched hold of the wheel and twisted with all his might, his muscles bulging under the strain. Sweat dripped down Aron’s forehead, the burden of driving in this weather was worse than he had let on. The car began to turn, but not soon enough. The sound of tires screeching trying to catch some traction rang in the party’s ears as the truck driver tried to stop his barreling vehicle in vain. Neither of them were fast enough, perhaps if they had each been a second earlier the crash would have been avoided but this was not the case. The front grate of the truck slammed into the back of the car just missing Kaida, she screamed in terror. Kin sat awestruck, his ears ringing, a single warm tear rolled down his cheek. Aron’s face was drained of color and he was shivering, his hands no longer holding onto the steering wheel, which was spinning slowly. The truck had stopped and seemed fine except for a large dent in the front, the driver staring stunned ahead. The car spun chaotically toward the darkness off the side of the road. When it hit the steep slope at the side it began to roll down the hill. Kin felt like he was on some sort of sickening roller coaster that seemed as if it would never stop. He felt nauseous and saw red. Every time it turned over a loud thump reverberated off the walls and pain followed. The car finally jolted to halt as it collided with a large tree at the bottom of the hill. The sound of twisting metal and splintering wood filled the air. Kin was hurled forward then jerked back by his seatbelt. A sudden sharp pain stabbed his neck. He cried out in agony. His whole body filled with pain then suddenly he felt numb yet only the pain in his neck and a distant banging in his head remained. He coughed and something spattered out of his mouth, he did not want to think what it was. He opened his eyes yet all he could see were blurry red spots and twisted metal. He tried to move but realized with great shock that he could not. Fear shuddered through him. The pain intensified to the point where he could think of nothing else. He gasped for breath as terror filled him. He knew no more.


Chapter 2:

Suddenly the pain was gone. He could see clearly. The car was trashed, bent metal hung at jagged angles all around. The seats were ripped and one airbag lay deflated and useless while the other never deployed. “Crummy car,” he muttered quietly. He felt strange and his mind was clouded as if trying to spare him from remembering the last few moments. Then he saw what made him shriek. Aron, lying bent over the steering wheel unconscious, was he just unconscious? Kin peered at Aron closely and let out a sigh of relief when he saw that his chest was rising and falling at a steady rate. He’s alive. Kin immediately whirled around to check on Kaida. The back of the car was not as badly damaged but the ceiling had crushed in around Kaida’s seat. He crawled out the shattered car window and saw that Kaida had made an attempt at escaping the demolished car. Her upper half was free from the death-trap but her legs were pinned tightly under the mass of metal. She was awake though. Her face was contorted in pain and she was struggling to escape. She seemed to be trying to look inside the car.
“Kin! Aron!” she called hoarsely staring anxiously at the front window.
“Kaida, I’m right here!” Kin told her watching her with deep concern showing in his emerald green eyes. She stared right past him and broke into tears.
“Kin! Aron! Wake up!” she cried desperately. Kin watched her with great confusion.
“Kaida! What’s wrong? Can’t you see? Or hear? Or anything?” he yelled his voice cracking with frustration. She still continued as if she had not seen or heard him.
“Please,” she whispered between sobs. “No,” she continued, “no no no no no!” Her voice rose to a scream as she finished. Her silky black bangs hung over her amber eyes and her face was stained with tears. Kin kneeled next to her.
“Kaida, everything is going to be ok, I’m right here,” he said staring into her blazing eyes that shone like the sun, they were filled with fear. “I’ll stay here until the ambulance arrives, I promise!” he urged confused by Kaida’s reactions. She must just be in shock, that’s it shock, he told himself nervously. He didn’t even know if shock could do that to someone but his mind had no other logical answer and he would rather stay away from the illogical ones. He thrust his hand into his jean pocket and pulled out his cell phone. It was an older model that had been given to him by his mother when she had deemed it time for a new one. It was silver and bulky but usually functional. He flipped it open and gawked at the screen in shock.
“D*mn!” he yelled to fight back tears. There was a long crack across the screen and it was blue with little white letters in the center. “No signal” they said. “No!” he shrieked, “I have to call an ambulance!” He watched as Kaida struggled to free herself some more. “That’s so weird!” Kin rambled to himself, “It’s never done that before!” He punched in the numbers 911 over and over on the small dark keypad. Nothing happened. Kaida tried to pull herself into a sitting position but it was extremely hard with her legs pinned down. She began banging on the car her hands balled into fists. Kin shoved the cell phone back into his pocket.
“Hey, hey, calm down,” he said trying to assure her. She still didn’t look his way and started breathing heavily. Kin bit his lip with indecision. His mind raced and fear and confusion threatened to overwhelm him.
“Please let them be ok!” she wept and began repeating this over and over to comfort herself. The burst out into a cry, “Wake up! Just WAKE UP!” Her shoulders were shaking and she was soaked with water from the pouring rain. Lightning shot across the dark sky once again for a minute it lit up beautifully, outshining the brightest stars. He realized that his companions were in such horrid states and tried to check himself over for injuries. He just realized something he had been overlooking before: he couldn’t feel anything. He couldn’t feel the rain or pain. “That’s definitely not good…” he muttered to himself hoping it wasn’t anything permanent. There were blood stains on his hands though he couldn’t tell where it had come from. He heard the distant sirens of an ambulance getting closer. Relief washed over him, the truck driver must have been conscious and called for help. Tall dark trees loomed over the wreck with no leaves on their long bare branches. It looked like something out of a Halloween display. The sirens began blaring and he heard the ambulance pull up at the top of the hill on the road though the truck no longer seemed to be there. Mud sloshed under its large tires as it screeched to a halt. The door swung open and two young men and a woman in her twenties rushed out. They opened the double doors in the back and pulled out a long stretcher. The man yelled something undistinguishable and started to cautiously step down the steep slope worried of slipping in the downpour. They all were wearing large jackets and he felt sympathetic for Kaida as he watched her shivering.
“Anyone down there?” one of the men asked trying to see through the sheets of rain. Kaida’s eyes widened with surprise.
“Y-yeah,” she replied weakly.
“Yeah we’re here!” Kin shouted in case they had not heard her quiet voice. The three people spoke among themselves as they tried to get down the slope with minimal injuries or damage to equipment. They finally arrived at the scene of the accident. The woman rushed to Kaida’s side as the men readied the stretcher. The woman began asking Kaida some routine questions as other help began to arrive.
“Can you feel your legs? Rate your pain on a scale of 1-10. How many others were in the car?” and other such questions were spewed mechanically from the woman’s cherry red lips. Everything really was going to be ok. He thought of the bliss and playful jokes they’d shared on that car ride before the crash, they could go back to that now. The strange thing is this crowd of medics paid him no attention. They looked right past him and acted as if he weren’t even there! Just then there was a yell from inside the car (the metal had now been pried apart and lifted away by an array of interesting devices).
“Brian! You should come, this boy is dead.” The voice said solemnly. “He has no pulse.” Kin felt a pang of panic, Aron was dead? Kin rushed to see for himself, he couldn’t believe that Aron, who he had known since he was five, was dead. Then he saw. Aron wasn’t dead. He was still breathing and being assisted by numerous medics. No, but there was a body there, but it wasn’t Aron’s, it was his.


Chapter 3 (part 1)

Kin stood on the side of the road and watched as cars passed gawking at the accident. Kin stuck his tongue out at them immaturely, it was better than accepting the truth. The ambulances had rolled away with Aron and Kaida and well what was left of Kin the day before. He had no where to go. He felt lost. He wasn’t sure where he was, some side road not far from the city. The thought struck him. They had almost been home. If that freakin’ truck hadn’t come we would be at school now, the biggest problem being a lack of homework to hand in, not this, he thought to himself miserably. He thought of the gloomy sidewalks of his city, the little winding streets surrounded by candy and coffee shops, how he missed them.
Kin blinked a few times. “What?” he asked himself puzzled. Hadn’t he just been on a calm suburban road? Now he was in the middle of the bustling city. “How?” he asked himself this time taking in his surroundings. He saw his favorite ice cream shop and realized he had no desire for a double chocolate sundae while looking in the shop window. This made him want to cry. He wandered aimlessly every now and then taking a break to follow some people and snoop on their lives for a while, yet this too became boring after some time.
One day Kin stood on the dark street corner and watched people go past. Dark clouds were gathering above. Another storm was approaching, like the one on the night of the crash. The crash, three weeks ago, at least to his best knowledge, his only record of time was watching the sun rise and set. He shuddered as he saw a blue van just like Aron’s joined the jumble of cars waiting to pass on the busy streets. Aron and Kaida. He thought about them often, wondered what happened to them, and most of all he envied them. As far as he knew, they were still alive and that was at least one step better than him. What am I thinking? He asked himself, I don’t even believe in stupid ghosts or anything like that! Just then a woman with a purple alligator skin handbag walked through him. He shuddered, he hated when that happened. A small grey pigeon walked across the sidewalk pecking up what small crumbs it could find before flying off to perch on the grey stone building before him. He remembered all the happy summers he’d spent hanging out here with his friends and wished he could have that again. Out of boredom he pulled out his cell phone for the thousandth time that week, and also for the thousandth time that week he got the blue screen and “No signal” as his only response. He began pressing random numbers and buttons hoping he would get something, anything but that blue screen!
“Stupid, stupid, stupid cell phone!” he yelled in aggravation, if he could have thrown the cell phone, he would have but he had tried before. It didn’t work. If he tried to remove it from his hand, his whole hand turned to a sort of cloud of mist then reformed, this also freaked him out. He let out a sigh of disgust. A girl looked up at him curiously. He watched her intently, could she see him? He hadn’t talked to anyone in three weeks and it was starting to get to him. The girl laughed and walked over to him.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, “is your cell phone too pathetic to work?” He wasn’t sure what to do. Two things crossed his mind, first of all to jump for joy since she could see him; second of all to come up with some angry remark to defend his cell phone, she had insulted him after all. He stared speechless for a few seconds not sure what to say. An actual living person was talking to him!
“Uh yeah, my mom gave it to me, it’s broken, see?” he muttered quietly showing her the screen. She looked extremely confused and stepped back for a second. Then she regained herself.
“Maybe you should take it back to your mommy, I’m sure she can make everything better,” she snorted sarcastically.
“Don’t you have better things to do than criticize others?” he raised an eyebrow at her and laughed, it sounded more like a cough though. When he got no reply he continued, “listen, it looked like you knew what was wrong with my phone, can you fix it?” He gave her a pleading look letting her know she had the upper hand.
“Well,” she started looking scared suddenly her guard down, “yeah I have but-” She dropped off mid-sentence and looked over Kin. He suddenly felt very self conscious and made an effort to make sure his neck was straight. Her eyes moved over him like lasers giving a burning glare. She paused on his neck and bloody hands. Then she looked over him once more and a horrified look came over her face. “Oh my god!” she uttered and ran away as fast as she could.
“Hey! Wait!” he called. He started jogging after her, he couldn’t get tired or out of breath since he was, well, dead, so he had an advantage on her and was gaining fast. But then he lost her in the crowd. He could no longer see the little pink shrug she wore over her white tank top or the bright red bow in her hair. Suddenly he had an idea. He remembered what happened when he was thinking about the street corner, so what if he imagined her, would he be seemingly magically teleported to this mystery girl? He tried hard. She had short light blonde hair that hung loosely around her face, her face; she had a chubby face yet a scrawny body to back it up. She was probably around the same age as him yet only half the height. She had bright blue eyes and rosy cheeks and was wearing a frilly pink shrug with a white tank top and yellow shorts that looked at least three sizes too small for her. She had sandals on and was carrying a purple backpack with pink swirls on it.



I'll post more if people like this, also please keep in mind this is a very rough draft... Also this is my own story please do not steal!

[Sen507]

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[Noel]

Going to read through this now~
At last I see something you've written!

[Sen507]

Yeah, it's not that great though, I've just decided to post some writing because I am bored and past caring what a bunch of random people think of me.

[Noel]

Well, you want a full critique or just comments? I'm teaching myself the first.

[Sen507]

LOL, I know it's pretty bad but just post whatever you want, I don't really care, it's just one of the many rough drafts of stories on my flashdrive that I'm never even going to attempt to finish.

[Sen507]

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[Sen507]

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[Sen507]

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[Sen507]

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