Cruel Deceptions comments page

[Minirose96]

For a while, my actual story was posted here, but as of recently I have decided to give the comments and the actual story each their own post. please post comments for my story here, or send me a PM with your opinions ^^

The actual story:
viewtopic.php?f=57&t=855031&p=21789715#p21789715

[Minirose96]

Please feel free to comment

http://ustre.am/J0cj

http://www.ustream.tv/channel/askellisi ... ium=social

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/20 ... 175404.htm

robby.victor

[Minirose96]

(Please note right now that this is not a true occurrence, this is an idea for a new story that came to me last night.)

The police were crawling around the room. I didn't know what to do. I just looked at his face as they questioned him. I'm not sure what happened that made them want him, of all people, but it was clear that they planned to have him leave in cuffs. Him. The occasional tear ran down my cheek as I watched the scene before me. There was no way he could have done it. . .No way.

Of course, no one would believe me. They knew my opinion was biased. I had loved him for longer than I could remember, and everyone knew it. Including him.

But that doesn't matter right now. What mattered was the sudden change in the atmosphere towards him. I heard him ask if he could get some fresh air on the balcony. They thought it seemed safe, so they let him. We were three stories up, and the stairs were being blocked by one of their officers. They obviously didn't know him very well.

As soon as he started leaning over the edge of the balcony, I knew something was wrong. Very wrong. I started walking over, then, time seemed to stop. Certain things happened simultaneously. First, he tipped over just far enough to send him over the balcony edge, and down to the hard ground below. Second, The officers, detectives, and other officials there all let out a gasp. And third, I high pitched scream rang through the air.

It wasn't until time restarted that I realized that the scream was my own. I ran to the edge of the balcony, where he had been standing second ago. Below, his body lay crumpled, but oddly straight on his back. The tears ran freely and I sobbed and shouted his name all at the same time.

I'm not sure how it happened, but one second I was staring at his broken body below, and the next I was pushing my way past the officer guarding the stairs. I'm a little girl, so that should have been impossible, but at that moment, I could have pushed through concrete if I had to.

[.jaskier.]

This is really good

[Minirose96]

Thank you so much!

[Minirose96]

Chapter three is officially up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[.Live.Love.Laugh.]

Jared is pig!!! &!$:@%$; - that is how feel about him even though its not PG13.

[Minirose96]

lol, thank you for the comment and yes, it does appear that way, doesn't it. hehe I gots some plans for that boy.

[.jaskier.]

I don't like Jared anymore.... Lol I love the story though!!!

And evil plans right?... He gets hurt, right?... If I made a story like this I'd say he got stabbed by thugs lol

[Minirose96]

hehe what happens to him is all up in my head trust me, when it's finished, yur face will look like this --> O.O and yur first thought will be 'holy shiz. Mind has just been blown' lol

But I will say this, he does end up getting hurt pretty badly close to the end, as the climax

that's the only sneak peek I'm giving