by Captain Hammer » Wed Aug 03, 2011 4:51 pm
Here it is! I guess it could be better, and there's another one along the lines of museless, but I can't find it. D:
I sat at my desk, thinking my thoughts of me thinking and sitting. For this piece, I needed perfection. Without perfection (in at least the writer’s eyes) there would be nothing to obsess over and revise until it’s overdone and you have to revise it again.
Questions flooded through my brain as I milked every incomplete scene in my head for the greatest, utmost perfection and correction. I thought of simplicity, trying first to make things short and not too wordy but when I read it out loud I knew I sounded like an amateur. Then I tried extremely long sentences using every word I could think of to make something so simple sound like a magnificent picture. That didn’t work either.
I fretted over my word count and wanted to go back and edit things as was typing but made myself refuse. I needed to get my thoughts down on paper before the hour was up. I made myself another deadline, of course, after my hour was up and my thoughts were not there. I gave myself another hour and a small coffee break in between.
After a long sigh and a hot cup of coffee, I read my thoughts out loud. For the first time, I realized that I had no ideas. I had nothing but words and synonyms and antonyms and failed story ideas. I could’ve sworn I had been doing something relevant this whole time I sat, thinking my thoughts of me thinking and sitting, but perhaps not. I had nothing but scribbles, useless words, and a coffee stain on my paper. Even with frustration and disappointment, I typed up everything I had, constantly scratching my head and taking a break between every confusing word.
My document said, “Supine and spine. Drink drank drinking sounds best. Scene of serenity. A big forest with talking animals!” and more random things I didn’t understand. I let out a large groan and lay back in my chair, upset with my words and my empty coffee cup. I sat back up, ready with an idea and created a small scene where my mother came to me and asked if I needed help then gave me a brilliant idea but it still didn’t work. It looked like too many words and too many people talking. Words just got too boring when they were spoken. And besides, that would mean I needed to think up the brilliant idea that my mom would give me which took me back to square one.
Actually, I’m still at square one. No ideas, no sentences, and barley any thoughts. Only thoughts of me thinking and sitting came as I sat thinking. I couldn’t think of anything besides the fact that I had nothing to think about. Then, it hit me. The spark I had been looking for had finally come! That moment of inspiration I could spew out flawlessly onto a page came to my mind from its depths. I started typing the five words I knew would start this wonder and continue it through the page. “I sat at my desk,” it read.
I was, and sign my art as KTMason. Going on a semi-hiadus as I get settled into school. I'll get on when I can.
