Deleted and Closed.

[lady windle.]

Kat::


she looked at him softly "I promise to you. None of this is your fault" she leans forward but stops fast and turns to look at Lilly

[~*Shayde*~]

Lilly sat down with her kitten and petted it. She smiled brightly. John looked at Lilly and smiled softly. "Either way." He said. "I still have a lot to be guilty for."

[lady windle.]

Kat::


she looks back at John "Why?" she touches his arm again softly

[~*Shayde*~]

John kept his eyes on Lilly. "I did some terrible things before Lilly was born. Things I'll never be able to make up for." He shut his eyes again. "I spent three years in juvie for grand theft auto and nearly killed a cop with a lead pipe when I was 15. I never had a real family apart from my mom, who died shortly before Lilly was born. I've hurt people because someone told me it was right. I let others rule my life. Now I'm paying for it." He rolled up his sleeve a bit so she could see the tattoo on his shoulder. It was of a infamous gang symbol. "I'm not the saint people make me out to be."

[lady windle.]

Kat::


seh takes her hands off him and rest them in her lap, she looks at his arm and her eyes sparkles she looks up at him again "I know you are not John and so does that little girl that looks up to you" she looks over at Lilly "To her you are the best person she knows, so she knows her moms name, she is her mom and you can not hold it against yourself for something she did to herself" she looks back at him "none of it is your fault and you are doing the best you can to make it better for you and her. We have all made mistakes in our past. I know I have at-least" she looks at him

[~*Shayde*~]

John smiled slightly, his expression sad. "She's all I have left. If it wasn't for Lilly well, I'd probably be dead on in jail." He watched her for a moment. "She looks nothing like me. She's her mother." He sighed softly. "My biggest fear is losing her, or raising her wrong. I can't stand to see her hurt or sad. I can't even think when she's not nearby. I'm always worried." He laughed quietly. "Guess that's what I get for taking on the role of both parents." His eyes filled with tears and he had to look away. "I couldn't bear to lose her. Not again."

[lady windle.]

Kat::


she looked at him and went silent for a second making sure her wording was right she looked back at Lilly and the kitten "And she will never leave you." her eyes moves back at John she knew he wanted to cry and she almost wished he would, she could almost tell he was holding a lot in "She loves you, John. More then anything. And the role of both parents you hold hopefully one day you will find a girl that you feel for and Lilly feels for to and she will help you" she smiles softly at him and puts her hand on his cheek "That I promise" she rubs her thumb softly on his cheek

[~*Shayde*~]

John laughed softly. "She will leave. I know that. Eventually she will grow up and leave." He sighed and looked at her. "I'm not the type for love. I mean, really? What woman in her right mind wants a guy who has a kid?" He wiped the tears from his eyes and calmed down. "But I'm sure you don't want or need me to put all my troubles on you."

[lady windle.]

Kat::


she bites her lip "Well if you want a example of a girl like that, take me. I would love to have a kid, but when all that happened. I was beat so bad the doctor sad i may not be able to have a kid." she looked down but back up "So some girls want a guy with a kid you just have to be willing to look" she smiles "And yes she will grow up, but she always be a daddy's girl" she smiles "And I don't mind hearing about. I am your friend" she smiles

[~*Shayde*~]

John smiled over at her. "It's surprising. I've never told anyone any of this."