Dear Noobcake by Xialburg (Updates Every Other Weekend)

[SavatheWolf]

LUFF LUFF LUFF <3 Noobcake rockssssssssssssssssss!!!!! This week I laughed so hard my sister screamed and fell out of her bed XD Rofl. KEEP MAKING THE NOOBCAKE.

Or Gothie will get you.

[kimmy1479]

I am stalking this epic noobcake. How weird did THAT sound!

[Al the Dalek]

Dear Noobcake,

Do you know how sensitive a wolf's ears are?
Silly question-no, because you're an ignorant Noobcake.
For future reference, they are very sensitive. Like uber super duper with a bucket of caramel sensitive.
I'm getting tired of that word. ABC gets mad when we reuse words. Yes, Noobcake. I'm stuck with you for another school year and summer. But back to my original story.
So, being very sensitive (there's that word again) my ears pretty much died today.
I was listening to quiet music on my iDog and so the volume was up really loud.
Then.
Suddenly.
UBER LOUD TECHNO.
I may or may not have freaked out. I admit nothing.
I DEFINITELY did not scream like a girl. Because that is just ridiculous.
But it was freaky! It scared the bejeebies out of me!
But enough about that. I needed something to lift up my self esteem, so I decided to go to the skate park and give Sharise her first lessons.
She isn't too good yet, at all, but at least she can stay on a few seconds.
After failing quite a bit she was pretty upset because Xanri had arrived and was totally showing off.
I made her laugh though because I called Xanri a Supreme Show off Pants.
Heck, even Xanri was amused by my creativity.
I just have a way with the ladies.
Not really...I always manage to make them upset more than happy, but that's just the way life goes.
I wish it didn't. That kind of sucks.
A lot.
You know, every girl I meet either hates me, stalks me, or just creeps me out.
I mean, Beauty is awesome and everything, but she really, really hated me for a while when she thought I said bad stuff about Heidi!
Sashay hates me because I accidentally caused her to be injured.
Xanri is just creepy.
Love is a stalker.
Metallic: Ditto.
Seriously!
What is with my girl issues? I should go to the doctor and get me checked, because I just have bad girl juju.
Or whatever.
A weird word that means I kind of suck when it comes to that sort of thing.
I bet I do. It would totally make sense.
I mean, seriously! Maybe just normal things are wrong with me, but when it comes to my life, girls, and everything in between, I've really been through the wringer!
I don't think that's normal.
Any normal wolf would have cracked by now, but I guess just because I am so incredibly awesome it just works out.
Because I am awesome.
Don't you dare forget that, Noobcake. I know you're just papers, but if you forget that I will be very upset with you. I might even put you on the floor so you can be stepped on.
...
I'm sorry Noobcake I didn't mean that.
...and there I go again apologizing to inanimate objects...
But I have to go, Noobcake. Purna is being a noodle and is annoying the smeg out of me.

Seeya Noobcake.

I apologize for the short entry fans, but a really big family issue that just happened has washed the creativity right out of me. I feel bad, but this is all I can come up with. Enjoy your two week in a row Noobcake~

[WhoLocked]

Wow...Even with your creativity wiped out you wrote a pretty awesome Noobcake entry. Hope things get better for ya!

[Destiny]

this is amazing it just goes to show that your a fantastic writer

[Al the Dalek]

*gasps* Okay. This is the last week I do a Noobcake EVERY weekend, but that was only because of the special awesome thing. I'm getting it back on the normal schedule with this entry so I'm not totally inaccurate. Anyway, enjoy!

Dear Noobcake,

I found it very hard to start writing today.
I stared at your blank pages for at least ten minutes before I could get motivated to move my paw.
No, I don't have amnesia or anything that made me forget entirely what happened in my super awesome not so much day.
It's the "not so much" thing I put in there that's the key, Noobcake.
You see, I was giving Sharise another one of her lessons.
She can actually ride for a while now, since it's been a few times since her first.
She was laughing near the end because these other boy wolves were all doing awesome tricks and they were TOTALLY showing off for her.
I admit, I got a little jealous.
...and...did this thing...well...
It's almost painful to write this.
Actually, it is painful.
But enough about that.
I was trying to impress Sharise so she would pay attention to me again, so I went down the half pipe and came up and did this super awesome trick.
I got cheers.
Unfortunately, not coming down.
You see, I did cool flippy things with my wings, and then I stopped because I was assuming my board was the right side up.
Can you guess what happened next, Noobcake?
I'm waiting.
Hello?
Anyone home?
OH WAIT. You're inanimate! How silly of me.
Stupid Noobcake.
You're so stupid.
...I'm insulting...an inanimate...object...but back to my story.
Just to explain it for your stupid nonexistent brain, my board was not right side up.
I landed...wrong. Because the board went sideways and so did I.
I manage to get my wings out, so it slowed down the fall, but there wasn't enough time to fly off.
And I broke my left front paw.
Which really, really, sucks.
Because my back leg just healed!
I'm a whailure.
OF COURSE Xanri showed up, eating ice cream, and was the first on the scene.
My first thought was: I don't want to be a watermelon.
"I know," she said happily, licking her cone, which looked suspiciously pink and smelled like the death melon itself. "Just thought I would let you know that you're going to fall off your board. Oh wait, that already happened."
Then she wandered off laughing.
I don't understand how she got to me so fast when it looked like everyone was closer.
Also: She's kind of a jerk.
No wonder she's attracted to Gothie.
NOT TO OFFEND GOTHIE.
Please don't read this Gothie. Please don't eat me. Please...
So I went to the hospital place and got a cast.
Of course, since I'm the accident prone hero, they asked what I was doing to help this time and how I failed.
When I told them I was trying to teach a female wolf how to skateboard and I was showing off, they busted up laughing.
Medical staff shouldn't laugh at their patients. Sure, laughter is the best medicine, but when it's the healthy people laughing, it's kind of rude.
They're hogging the cure!
Pigs.
You know, I pretty much make up for my friends' inabilities to break bones.
One: Sharise is invulnerable because I think her gorgeousness just makes the bone breaking fairydude faint of awesomeness.
Two: Metallic is metallic. Enough said.
Three: Gothie is invulnerable simply because casts aren't creepy and it would ruin his image.
Four: Xanri can foresee any injuries that could happen to her.
It kind of sucks being the weakling of my group of friends.
So I am writing this with my other paw, and it's just lucky all wolves are ambidextrous.
Woah that's a big word.
It means "able to use both left and right paws" you ignorant Noobcake.
Get a dictionary.
Wait.
You can't.
Because you're also a book.
My brain is broken.
Nice going Noobcake.
I'm going to bed now.
So tired.
I'm so tired I could sleep like...until...
THE FUTURE.
But wait.
Every second I haven't experienced is the future, so theoretically I could just sleep for two minutes and I would be in the future!
HOVER CARS HERE I COME.

Seeya Noobcake.

Addition:
I don't see any hovercars. This blows. You lied to me.

[Revelations.]

lol!! This stuff gets funnier every time. YOU INSPIRE ME :3

[WumbologyClass]

Love it!
Read the whole story from 5 PM to 1 AM. (that's a long time).
Definitely stalking.

[Al the Dalek]

Oh it did take you a lot of time. I read very quickly, and it still takes me forever and a day to do. Also, popping in to remind you all that Interviews with the cast are still open! I haven't done one in quite a long time, and I expect some love and starshin will rain from the sky.

[Fauna]

My Alk! I finally caught up and love it all the same. I might do another interview thing... I have a new sense of sarcasm.