TheComfortCorner | V.10

[vist]

oh wow , i am not doing well, 🫶

[flooxii]

I'd actually pay at this point to be able to cry again.

[sinensys]

i fear i've spooked you again. all i wanted to do was leave you a message wondering if, ironically, i should leave you messages when you are feeling off and consequently unplug. but as i typed it, after several days of you not really responding, you came online, saw me typing, and left. i do not know if you intended to message or just to reread. i do not know if i came across as obsessive for leaving you so many. we used to talk so much throughout the day, i assumed it would be alright, but now i am not sure. i don't want to overwhelm if what you say is genuine. i hate that i fear it is not genuine but still want you, despite the growing suspicion it may be a ploy. i don't know how it is for you, considering you won't talk to me. and yes, i know it's very new between us, and i know i've gone so long without having someone to message all the time. but in these last four weeks, i've grown so used to it, it feels strange to not have it. maybe we're not in the right spaces for each other. maybe it's not real and i'm blinded by the idea of what it could be while you look for any contact to fill the space she left behind. maybe that's why you're in such a rush to show me all my firsts, and only in hindsight i realize how fast we've gone. we made out before we held hands. and yet now it feels like maybe that pace was for you, not for me.

i don't know.

i've never worn these shoes --- i don't know how to dance in them.


edit:
i've left you all kinds of messages, asking you how you're feeling, what i can do to make you feel comfortable, leaving you good vibes. i asked a few important things too. instead you message me with "hey" and nothing more. you don't answer any of the things i asked, no reactions to any of the things i left you would usually leave reactions to. nothing. just "hey" and nothing more. i respond with "hey" back. i think we're done here. i love the idea of dating an engineer like me, but i don't think it'll be you. i'm sorry. i wish you well. i feel discarded.

what an awful first time around --- made out before a cute date. and you push back when i offer to meet. you don't want me.

[dusekkar]

am i just not important

[Hawk WillowWatcher]

(One of the first lighthearted ones I’ve made in here.)

AAAAAAAAGH! WHY IS MY BED SO COMFY!!! IM GOING TO MISS THE BUS!!!

[strawberrylament]

istg if she shows up in my dreams again im unblocking her and texting her im sorry

i know she was a rlly draining friend and took me for granted and that whole friend group was a dumpster fire but god i miss her. and what's gonna happen if i do text her? shes three states away now. im gone. i doubt she thinks about me anymore.

[♥ mizu]

WOW i embarrass myself so much. why do i sometimes feel like my friends hate me like is that an intrusive thought or just a gut feeling even though they express how much they love me so often (but id never talk to them about this i dont want to guilt trip them)

-

ok i came back to add onto this.

all the people my age are stressing about schoolwork and crushes n such, but nobody's actually dating. i'm under no pressure to, idk if i even like anyone. but i wouldn't mind getting a boyfriend, you know?

i've had opportunities to. but i just can't. i can't, not with how my life is going right now. my parents need me to help them and i realistically couldn't hang out with him very often outside of school. i can't. and i have so many issues, it's unfair to put that on somebody else. i couldn't be that open. not with how boys are, no matter how kind his smile is or what a golden heart he has. even good people do mean things, and my issues are too serious to just put them out there. cs is really my only outlet for them.

i have a feeling if i did get a boyfriend he may become something of a therapist and that's not right. i mean, i think i could control myself? but i can't control how he feels, or what he says - and i can't handle that intimacy at the moment, even if the people at school are the nicest they ever could be.

it just sucks. all these people are giggling and saying silly things, you know? being themselves. i can only dream of it. maybe i could. maybe i'm just being dramatic but having a boyfriend would be so much extra stress. but i wouldn't mind having a nice boy all to my own, right?

i think i'm emotionally and physically mature enough for it. i maintain good relationships and boundaries with most people in my life. but there are parts of me that i am so incredibly insecure about and opening up about them with a boy is so scary.

i mean, this is all hypothetical. i'm worrying about something that won't happen, because there are only like 3 boys my age in the school and there's no mutual attraction. i don't like anyone as more than a friend. maybe i could. i don't know, i need to stop thinking about this because it can't happen. there are too many issues in my family for this.

i wish my biggest problem was being insecure about myself and whether or not i could get a boyfriend. my problems are always so serious.

[lisica,]

Could do with some advice in helping a friend that’s depressed?? I don’t wanna say too much about her situation on here but she’s going through a some really awful things and I know she needs professional help but she is against that idea after having bad experiences in the past but like… im the only person she talks to about it so I feel pressure to fix her problems and I know that I can’t. I’m at the point where I don’t know what to say anymore and she says things that make me feel like im not there for her when I know that I am but I just??? don’t know what to do??? I always try to stay positive for her but I know when you feel like crap “trust the process” doesn’t mean much but im running out of words to say,, I try not to take things personally too cause she also defo says things in the moment when she’s upset but it’s hard and I feel selfish for feeling that way. I feel bad for feeling annoyed at it sometimes but it’s just frustrating knowing there are people out there that can give her actual help. I don’t like suggesting it too much and I’d obvs never push the idea because it always feels like a cop out answer and I don’t want her to think im ever trying to avoid a conversation but I know it’s not fair on me either to feel like I need to solve all of her problems when I simply cannot do that

[nobxdy]

im completely heartbroken. I lost it. I couldnt help
myself. I tried so hard to keep it together but i just couldnt. Rip, i'll never forget you and the great memories we had. ❤️😔

[luminaree]

I can't wait until I turn eighteen and move out. Maybe then my poor, overworked father will finally have a break from all the unintended harm my broken mind has caused him, all the times I've made him feel like he's failing, like I'm scared of him. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for acting like I'm going to break down when you're upset. I'm sorry for all the times I've said something the wrong way and turned my sick mother against you. I'm sorry for being tricked into hurting you. I'm sorry for ruining the family time and time again. Maybe when I'm gone, you'll finally feel relief from all the pain my foolish behavior and messed up head has caused you. I'm sorry I can't fix myself before then. I'd say I love you, but maybe that's a lie I tell myself, given how much I've fricked up your life. No one who really loves their father would do such a thing. I wish I really did love you. You deserve a child who does.

I'm sorry, that sounds tough Maybe you could try expressing some of this to him if you haven't already. Or maybe once you have some time and distance you will be able to build a new, stronger relationship with him and others if that's what you want. You're at a time when you're trying to find yourself and sometimes we stumble and do stupid things, I certainly have. But it sounds like you truly care, give yourself some grace and compassion and I'm sure others will too. <3

im completely heartbroken. I lost it. I couldnt help
myself. I tried so hard to keep it together but i just couldnt. Rip, i'll never forget you and the great memories we had. ❤️😔

Sometimes we need to lose it to put ourselves back together again. Sending lots my love and best wishes to you. <3