TheComfortCorner | V.10

[iHolli]

{ don't cry. don't cry. don't get so caught up in your feelings. don't get feelings at all.
{ it hurts. I like my alone time but I'm so tired of being lonely. I hate needing other people. I hate wanting company. I hate wishing anyone, anyone would care.
{ I hate knowing no one really wants me around. I hate always being the odd number in the wheel. I appreciate being invited to things but I hate knowing it's only obligation, because no one talks to me, I'm not included in conversation, I can't even try to participate because it's about things that I just don't belong to. I almost wish I weren't invited, that I just didn't know about things going on at all, because being alone in a crowded room is somehow even worse than just being alone.
{ I wish I could just disappear. drop off the grid forever. I know no one would notice, much less care, if I suddenly weren't around anymore.
{ it's selfish of me, anyway, to wish I mattered. I've never been anyone's first choice. or second choice. or any willing choice. I've always just been an extra in the crowd. my own story has never even been about me. I'm so tired. I wish someone cared. I wish it would matter to someone if I vanished. but despite putting so much of myself into everyone and everything, I don't matter.
{ and I never will.

[demodog]

may seem silly but im just so tired.. i walked for so long and now i have such a bad stomach-ache .. also just back on my anxiety / paranoia garbage so im jittery, tired, and sick feeling. amazing combo

[♥ mizu]

i just feel glum and i think i know why but i don't want to say it. i just hate feeling so out of it. :( i've had a tiring week. not like bad but very busy. i need a bath and a nap and some tea

[TruthBomb]

i've been feeling really down lately. my best friend passed away a few months ago and with each month that passes the ache gets worse. i'm dreading the anniversary. part of me doesn't want to get out of bed each day, but i push myself to do that much. i promised him i'd take care of myself so i'm trying. a little bit at a time, but i'm managing. it will get easier i suppose, even if it doesn't feel like it will. most of my friends stopped talking to me, i suppose that's my fault, but sometimes it just hurts not having anyone to talk to. nobody ever really checks in, and the friend who does is always busy. it just feels like everyone else is moving on and doing their own things and i'm still stuck here. maybe that'll pass, but for now i think i'm stuck. that's the only good way i can word it. i'm just stuck. trapped in my thoughts maybe. little things help, like trading for pets and characters i want, but it's always temporary. maybe that'll change too and i'll stay happy?

[Discontinued]

I keep telling myself to keep stuff under a tight lid and not share it, so I honestly don't know why I'm posting this here again, but... I feel like if I don't get it out somewhere then I'm just going to end up collapsing at some point.

My health is tanking big time. Not many people know that this has been one of the worst years in my life so far, for health reasons. I'm so tired all of the time, so fatigued and sad... I can barely get out of bed most of the time, let alone accomplish household chores and responsibilities. Sometimes I can't even hold up a glass of water. I'm not trying to complain at all, knowing how many people out there have it worse (and if you ever need someone to talk to, please feel free to reach out! I would love to be an ear if someone needs one), it's just weighing hard on me because this is what my life could look like from now on, since my family history is rampant with health issues.

Just wish I could feel better, be more involved, stop worrying over every little thing I say and do... it's a cycle that I wish would simply break for even five minutes.
because my happy moments feel like a façade anymore

[jermball]

was going to come out to my brother as trans and sent him a text like "hey can i tell u something" and he said "sure". and now it's been two hours and am still procrastinating on actually telling him bc i'm a chicken. i know for a fact he'll be chill about it but it's still scary y'know. like i kinda resigned myself to idea of living in the closet forever bc most of my family wouldn't be ok with it, and actually telling someone the truth feels like some sort of inconceivable herculean task. he's always been super supportive and has explicitly said so before but there's still a lingering fear that it's gonna change his perception of me for the worse or something. i'm defo making a bigger deal out of this than it needs to be but. idk man. hrurghuhggh disintegrates

[kaju]

back into the saaammeee stupid hole as last year. i was getting better slowly, i guess recovery isnt linear right? i keep telling myself that. i just feel guilty now. i dont think ill ever been completely better

also i physically cannot keep up with 45+ hour work weeks. mentally its great and it keeps me distracted. but physically i have never taken care of myself properly so its killing me and im exhausted. plus im off my MEDSSS i ran out. manic episodes are wonderful especially when i have to work the next day

and my relationship
oh i cant even begin to explain whats been going on. im just trapped

[Serious.]

My friend accidentally misinterpreted one of my messages of me being dismissive and I broke down crying oh god is my emotional state really that bad right now??

On the bright side, that was probably the best way for me to release my emotions. It was only a misunderstanding so nothing is wrong, and crying is a healthy way to get those pent-up emotions out.

EDIT: I've been crying for an hour OTL

[67Phlox]

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[ambiorix]

i don’t want to go until detail about my life on here, but today has been an incredibly rough day for me. i’m uncertain of what the future holds, and my life is about to be turned around. just wanted to say that if anyone needs anyone to talk to, my dms are open though i can’t promise i will be helpful. you are all cared for.