a poet's perspective of the world

[zombiedoll]

if our love was to be written in the stars
then i shall rip the stars out of the sky without thought
and place them in your hands in a million little pieces
just so that i can read every declaration
and intention of our love
to you, if only for the lucky chance
that in exchange,
next time you look at the night sky
you could think of us

[zombiedoll]

conduction of a life sated by carefully written
self devised consequence, only to be accentuated by
pernicious intent and vindictive restraint.
malice is hidden in your unintelligible speech, and
considered highly surreptitious by your petulant director! ---weren't you aware?
and ready to uncover your concealed truth and suspected intention
of your own device,
he opens the curtains, unveiling truth and shattering the carefully built up construction
of your very own, deep-rooted malevolence!
coming crashing down is your facade; inevitable!

[zombiedoll]

012, continuation of 011!

sinful is the conduction of malice and vindication,
that's been established.
but my dear director,
is the conductor or the conduction itself more sinful?

--
well, since you're so impatient,
the conductor is the cause of the deep-rooted evil
yet the conduction is the result of
irrationality. what a careless impulse!
a life of inevitable suffering,
to be strung like a puppet, every decision
made by your reckless conductor.


the conductor conducts
and the puppet follows without hesitation

so, i think a better question would be
which is worst, dear?
being the puppet on the string,
or the cause of consequence
who's facade is yet to be uncovered?

[zombiedoll]

why do i write poetry?

i write poetry for the hopeless romantics but i also write poetry for the ones hopelessly but somehow hopefully in love. i write for the people who still hold grudges and regrets for past mistakes and unfortunate circumstance yet i also write for the people who couldn't hold a grudge if their life depended on such. i write poetry for the ones who still think about that one person they met last week and their thoughts are fogged up and cloudy, they met this person once yet they are your heartstrings, your soul and the cause of your beating heart. and simultaneously, i write for the ones who do not wish to fall in love, they just want to have a good day without glaucous skies and gloomy thoughts---or maybe their life is filled with hope and they swear vindication and restriction will not be bound to them, so they read poetry. i write so that i can express intricate emotions and i write so that my love knows he is more to me than i could ever put on paper but finally, i write because the only way people will listen is through flowing, saccharine sweet and melancholic words rather than conflict-filled harshness, only to be classified a pariah among the hopeful crowd

[zombiedoll]

I HANDED Y0U MY HEART IN A SEALED ENVELOPE AND PLACED IT IN YOUR DELICATE HANDS, WHICH SEEMED TO OPEN IT AS IF THE CONTENTS OF THE INTRICATELY DESIGNED ENVELOPE INCLUDED THE STARS IN THE SKY AND THE MOON. AS YOU OPEN IT YOU EMPTY IT OUT ONTO YOUR PALMS AND YOUR EYEBROWS FURROW IN CONFUSION OR DISBELIEF--WHICH ONE, I COULD NOT TELL BUT UNSEALED AND UNPROTECTED IS THE RAW AND FULL EXTENT OF MY HEART WHICH I VOWED TO GIVE YOU AND DEVOTE TO YOU . CORNERS OF YOUR LIPS TURNED UPWARDS, I SMILED BACK. IN AN ACT OF FULL COMMITTMENT YOU GAVE ME YOURS IN EXCHANGE, AND I SWORE TO YOU THAT I'D PROTECT IT WITH MY LIFE AND BE AS CAREFUL WITH IT AS IF IT WERE MY OWN.

JUST FOR THAT SMILE OF YOURS I WOULD HAVE GAVE YOU THE ENTIRE NIGHT SKY AND THE STARS AND IT'D BE MORE WORTH IT THAN ANYTHING OR ANY ACT I HAD COMMITTED MYSELF TO AND I'D STILL LOOK UP AT YOU AND ASK IF THERE WAS ANYTHING ELSE I COULD DO FOR YOU

[zombiedoll]

YOU DRAGGED A DANGEROUS CANINE WITH TEETH AS SHARP AS THEY COME, INTO THE DEPTHS OF YOUR HOME FORGETTING TO INCLUDE A SENSE OF PROTECTION AND AWARENESS AND INSTEAD OF TEACHING IT TO FORGET IT'S WAYS AND SHRED ITS LAYERS OF UNIQUE COMPLEXITY YOU LOVED IT DESPITE ITS DANGERS AND AS SOON AS IT LET ITS GUARD DOWN FOR YOU, YOU BROKE ITS HEART INTO PIECES AND NOW THE DOG WISHES IT BIT YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE, SHARPENED IT'S TEETH AND DIDNT FAKE INNOCENCE. SO, RESTARTED IS THE NEVERENDING CYCLE, AND SO THE BETRAYED SOUL GOES BACK TO ITS OLD WAYS NEVER TO TRUST SOMEONE SO EASILY AGAIN. TELL ME, WHAT DID YOU REALLY EXPECT?

[zombiedoll]

you cannot save me
as i am not a violent dog
i do not bite
but in the end
just how much do you think,
can a innocent dog take
before it's teeth, sharp as knives
sinks its teeth into rotten flesh?

rotten, i am considered
condemned
unclean and impure is my heart!
confliction, confusion.

your pure, gentle hands will become
impure from mine, do not stay
run from my damaged heart; broken
ad my hands, stained, unclean.
conflict, contempt - used. now unusable
useless, worthless

run from my rotten soul
my mind which decays at the sight
of a growing flower, i pull it from the ground,
i destroy it, i'll kick it, stomp on it.
no pure thought or intention does
come to this consciousness, inevitable

if your angelicism is to be just as pure
if not, purest than this damned flower
run from my conscience, stay out of my
rotting heart, as i fear your fate, as unintention,
may come to the same end as the once pure flower,

decay, it must - your heart is too beautiful, pure
please, do not stay any longer, i can't
i'm destructive, the once saintly flower of god
now a sinner, as decaying: rotting, dead, impure
as by my very own hands; unintentional.

yet as my conscience is unaware, unknowing
of it's very own destruction

my mind is the sole cause of it's very own
self destruction
to the same fate, you cannot be tied to,
you must not, i will not allow you to

forget my impurity. unknown, identity - confused, lost.
you, who has known me for 3 months only,
know more about myself than which i know, or wish to learn
cluelessness. conscience: unclean. confusion - bound.

[zombiedoll]

DO YOU WANT ME? DO YOU STILL NEED ME?
DO YOU STILL LIKE ME? IS MY NAME STILL ON YOUR LIPS WHENEVER YOU SEE SOMETHING THAT REMINDS YOU OF ME?
AM I STILL CARVED DEEP INTO YOUR MIND LIKE YOU ARE IN MINE? DO YOU STILL KNOW MY NAME?
CAN YOU HEAR ME?
DO YOU STILL NEED ME? PLEASE DONT LEAVE

[zombiedoll]

does even a monster deserve such treatment?
condemned and guaranteed to hell, for showing it's teeth at you
clawing at your skin for the destined consequence, the actions
you took- oh, what a sin, to retaliate, yet i am the vicious canine?

even the purest of angels, high mortal beings, ranked highly
in their thrones - would turn it's wings to you - if you dare,
kiss their lips with your rotten flesh offer your poison-bound heart,
seal the sin and cover the wings in blood-- i call vindication!

call to the devil, ring the bells of hell but purity means
nothing in a world so sinful! you could cleanse the angel
of it's impurities, but the flesh is still bloody deep within
once washed, graze and cut at the skin and the angel is still
impure at the bones and flesh, gnaw it's skin and crimson will still
flow

[zombiedoll]

twisting and turning the hands
on your moral clock, see the fate, call vindication
twisted and out of balance
for you cannot tell purity from corruption
violence from compassion
roll the dice and play the game you call morality
in the end, iss it really morality or is it iniquity?