TheComfortCorner | V.10

[kotak]

the projects i worked on really hard got roasted at my exam
i’ve been working on them for some time now, long hours of work every time, especially the one that got the worst feedback
hours and hours of lining up the vocal lines and figuring everything out and i can keep going on and on but oh that hurt me bad
it sucks even more that it’s one of my favorite songs and now i’ll always associate it with this moment; i struggle with social anxiety and memories like that literally never fade
i stayed up until 4:30 am to make sure it’s as good as humanly possible
the worst part was how my teacher told me that another person in my class (who happens to be my wonderful girlfriend but i dont think my teacher knows) was also mixing on her laptop with headphones like me and she presented a really impressive and pleasantly surprising mix, so it’s so strange that my work is on the opposite end of the surprise spectrum… i don’t understand why my mistakes always have to disappoint the people around me, i thought i just had to do my best to learn
its like that awful singing exam where they told me they were uncomfortable looking at me and that my performance was a disappointment
i couldnt prepare then as well as they expected because id just lost a family member but this time i was sure it was going to at least be okay
i feel so stupid
my gf and i worked together the whole time and im so happy she did so well and she got complimented on her effort and it’s awesome and so deserved
i just thought we were doing things about the same way and i dont know why my work got called out like that
i thought i was doing well
every time i go to this place it feels like its built to work against me
i dont want to go there anymore
it’s unprofessional and no one cares about anything and if you’re a student you’re always at fault
before this project evaluation we also had a test on topics we’ve never studied before (5 pages!!) given to us by a teacher who never even shows up.. we started in october and we’ve had 1 class with him… yet he treats us so poorly like everyone else
i thought i was on the right path
theyre not even noting the exam scores we get in our files and when we ask the teachers if we can get our grades they tell us off for being materialistic and having the wrong priorities so i dont even know how ill transfer even though i dont know how to do this anymore
i just want to sleep and spend money which is so not good and i already do way too much of that for someone who’s a full time student so i’ll sleep

[gamer]

i feel nauseous, extremely tired, i have a headache, and on top of that now i'm getting random bouts of extreme anxiety that last maybe 30 seconds but have me breathing rapidly and shaking. i might try to go to sleep since it feels like i'm going to pass out. but this sucks.

[arabella !!]

i was in a slump for weeks leading up to my bday ,, ended up crying on my bday lol

however !! i am learning to love life again and wish the same for everyone else <33

[❦Acidic-Tea❦]

“A safety net for reality is the only thing we need, but when faced with the truth some would rather plummet than be caught.”

I wrote this at the end of a monologue to my freshman English teacher. The assignment was to write about a time that deeply affected us and recount it in detail. I chose to write about the first time I told my sister how guilty I felt about her having to raise me. I would go on to write many more stories of how I was feeling in the present and the past. Even though that was the point of the assignment I still feel guilty about writing these. My teacher had to read them. And I know she read them. She regularly told me how deeply my writing resonated with her and how it always had a sad tone. I watched her cry as I read aloud a poem of my ongoing battle with depression. I was pulled aside many times that year. On the last day of that year she let me sit and talk with her for two hours because I didn’t have a ride home. She was giving away flowers. She said that she does it every year and when I asked her gives her flowers she said she doesn’t expect any. I promised to give her flowers at the end of every year until I graduated. I intend to keep this promise and I so far have. I just wanted to share and I don’t have anywhere else to go. Thank you for reading.

[qtip]

my best friend threw the thing i showed her across the room. she literally did that in class when i was trying to go to lunch. i was so close to yelling at her why would she do that? ill just ghost her until she apologizes

[twilispark]

i don’t know how to properly put into words how terrible and down i feel. it’s different that just sadness, a bout of depression, a random few days of general malaise. i feel like i am being crushed constantly and there is no end in sight. there is no help coming and i don’t know what to do. i am tired

[.destiny]

i feel very lifeless most days. a mere husk of a person. i wish life felt worth living but the days go by and tend to blur together. it's been this way for so long that anything more than this existence feels imaginary.

[onion]

im so upset my 100ml perfume
bottle is jammed and only works when you pull the nozzle up again after spraying which is so inconvenient. i wanna cry like i spent $80 on this perfume
because i know i like it and i have a smaller near empty bottle so i bought this to replace it but of course it doesnt work. my only real option here is to break the glass in like a bowl or something and then transfer it to a new bottle maybe?? idk...

[FizzyConfettii]

Got stung by a wasp today. It wasnt her fault I wasn’t looking where I was going. Hurt tho.

[tenor]

i wish i had grown up with parents who considered my mental health and let me seek help and healing. now i'm a grown adult with a partner and a home and i should be happy, but i'm a wreck and don't know how to go to a therapist and don't know where to begin to see if i need a diagnosis, and i don't even know what could be wrong with me because i have no foundation or knowledge of symptoms of mental health because i've been so misconstrued by modern social media and everyone saying they have this and that wrong with them and i relate to all of it but i don't self-diagnose.

i'm going crazy.