TheComfortCorner | V.10

[screamingrainfrog]

Hrrrrrrngggg I wish I could shapeshift into a boy sometimes
I feel like I would be so much more confident :(

[hellevi]

once i stop answering the 1 (one) singular person that i talk to, i am completely isolated and cut off. i am so alone

[♥ mizu]

this is maybe an odd thing to post on a thread like this but i just like posting my ramblings on here. idk it's better than the general comments thread on toyhouse that's full of angry adults lol

so this is sort of about body hair and if that makes anyone uncomfortable then don't read this ok

something i just was thinking about was body hair. i usually shave my lower legs and underarms even though i wear a uniform and nobody sees it, i just prefer the feeling of smooth skin. i've never thought body hair was gross even though in western culture it's seen as "not the beauty standard". but going to a school where literally everyone is from a different part of the world has really opened my eyes about body hair in particular. the thoughts about it in china and turkey are completely different from western culture, for example. literally all of my female friends have body hair. they have much darker and thicker hair too, in contrast to my thin stuff (i'm white). it's made me realise that, no matter what, i really don't have to shave and it's such a cultural thing to do. my hair is barely visible whereas you can see theirs very clearly because, again, it's very thick and very dark. as i've said that's not a bad thing.

it's just so nice to see people existing without even realising they are defying the western beauty standard. there's something so beautiful about it. they are all such beautiful people, really. i feel honoured to be their friend.

i remember when i was younger i used to feel like i had to shave my lower legs. idk if this is normal but the hair near my ankles is a lot darker and thicker than, say, the hair on my knees so i've always felt like it was sort of gross and prickly. so i shaved it. i still do, only because i like the smoothness of it. but like seeing all of my female friends have like visible arm, leg, and facial hair without getting rid of it makes me feel so comfortable in it. i feel so unjudged for what my body hair looks like. i've never and would never bring this up to them but it's just such an interesting thing to notice.

[♥ mizu]

sometimes i read something online and my heart just drops. i wish i could reach out to this person and tell them how incredibly sorry i am for their loss but their post is weeks old and i don't want to be creepy or make them relive it. holy crap. hooooly crap i'm so sorry oh my god. i experienced the same kind of loss

v thank you, i appreciate the advice :) maybe i will reach out then!

[♥ mizu]

sorry for triple posting (mods feel free to condense this if it's considered spam i'm sorry again) but i took a test and i have covid. lord help me i feel so awful oh my god

[Moiraine]

sometimes i read something online and my heart just drops. i wish i could reach out to this person and tell them how incredibly sorry i am for their loss but their post is weeks old and i don't want to be creepy or make them relive it. holy crap. hooooly crap i'm so sorry oh my god. i experienced the same kind of loss

Honestly, I think it's acceptable to reach out on occasions like this. Sometimes it's nice or comforting to the other person to hear 'hey, I know this post is from a while ago, but I wanted to let you know that I'm thinking about you and wishing you all the best'. Of course you can never tell how individual people will react but I know I personally wouldn't take offence to this, rather it's nice to know that someone cares.

I don't know if you were looking for a response to this post, but since this is the comfort corner, I thought I'd try to give some actual comfort/advice lol

[vist]

it’s a little selfish, but i’m really jealous of those who figured out who they are or what they want, out of life, a career, or something minimal like what they’re going to have for dinner,. i feel like such a mess, i’ve wasted my entire life, and i can’t face it,. every time i think about things in the past or the future, i shut down & shove it away, and get snippy,. i wish i was someone different now and in the past, i feel like i’ve never been certain about anything of myself; the music i like, hobbies i thought i liked or ones i’m still wondering if i like, i remember someone commenting on the amount of LPS i had once & so i got rid of them all and regret it heavily,. i just don’t understand why i can’t just find myself and stop worrying about what others have to think,. i wanna better myself, but i don’t think i’m in an environment for that, i’m surrounded by those also dwelling, but here i am again, blaming others for my underdevelopment and my own refusal and abilities to change,. there’s so many past relationships i screwed up for no reason, i actively sabotaged them and myself and i’m not sure why,. i hate being in my hometown, i hate running into those people, i wonder what they think of me, if they even think of me,. i want to delete all of my social medias, i want to be forgotten from everyone,; i freeze up when i see usernames of those i went to school with,; i want a new phone number, i don’t want my phone to be connected to their contacts anymore,; i don’t want to be associated with a memory,.

i just wish i was normal .. and could do normal people things,.

correct, i’m afraid of starting therapy because i am terrified of facing myself, my past, my future,; i can’t talk about the things i’ve done or things that have happened to me, and i’m not sure why,. i need to let go, i need to find peace with myself and grow for the better,. i’m not a bad person, i just can be better, so so so much better,.
but i refuse help,.

[DaydreamNarrator]

it’s a little selfish, but i’m really jealous of those who figured out who they are or what they want, out of life, a career, or something minimal like what they’re going to have for dinner,. i feel like such a mess, i’ve wasted my entire life, and i can’t face it,. every time i think about things in the past or the future, i shut down & shove it away, and get snippy,. i wish i was someone different now and in the past, i feel like i’ve never been certain about anything of myself; the music i like, hobbies i thought i liked or ones i’m still wondering if i like, i remember someone commenting on the amount of LPS i had once & so i got rid of them all and regret it heavily,. i just don’t understand why i can’t just find myself and stop worrying about what others have to think,. i wanna better myself, but i don’t think i’m in an environment for that, i’m surrounded by those also dwelling, but here i am again, blaming others for my underdevelopment and my own refusal and abilities to change,. there’s so many past relationships i screwed up for no reason, i actively sabotaged them and myself and i’m not sure why,. i hate being in my hometown, i hate running into those people, i wonder what they think of me, if they even think of me,. i want to delete all of my social medias, i want to be forgotten from everyone,; i freeze up when i see usernames of those i went to school with,; i want a new phone number, i don’t want my phone to be connected to their contacts anymore,; i don’t want to be associated with a memory,.

i just wish i was normal .. and could do normal people things,.

correct, i’m afraid of starting therapy because i am terrified of facing myself, my past, my future,; i can’t talk about the things i’ve done or things that have happened to me, and i’m not sure why,. i need to let go, i need to find peace with myself and grow for the better,. i’m not a bad person, i just can be better, so so so much better,.
but i refuse help,.

Hey you, I don't know if you're just looking to vent, and if my reply is unwelcome, I apologize.

I just wanted to let you know, I know how you feel, I've been there. It's been no easy road to get to s place where I'm at peace with myself, but I'm sure, you'll get there, too.
Maybe you feel the same- to think of the person you wish you were seems hopeless, paralysing, because, how could I ever be so confident / strong / brave / [everything I am not]? What helps, in my experience, is to think of the little things; I wish I were brave? becomes what would I deem to be the brave thing to do in his particular situation? (just remember there's a difference between brave and reckless).
Celebrate your accomplishments and forgive your slip ups; you'll do better next time, or the time after.

And- you can't change the past. Believe me I've wished I could change some things of how I was in the past, but you just can't. Accepting that might be a great help to start moving forward. My therapist told me, back in the day "you need to accept that there are things you can't change and control. You can't control what people will think of you. But you can control what you think of yourself- by acting in a way you can be happy with. It's way more fulfilling."
And she was right- confidence and contentment are fleeting and fragile if they come from the outside, but if you manage to get that Internal spring going, they'll be way more fulfilling and stable.

And talking about therapy-
If you find the right therapist for yourself, it'll still be exhausting, but worth it a million times.

Finally, if you feel you need someone to vent, feel free to hit me up 🤍

[Nerve]

it isn't that he's gone, he isn't dead, so i'm sure i'll write a letter. my parents fear they wont get the chance in their lives to tell him how much they love and miss him. I have never seen someone so devistated.

[♥ mizu]

mom has decided to call the cops on my dad over literally nothing and i hope nothing goes wrong oh my freaking god oh my god h y god i have covid i feel disgusting i need to clean my room put some clothes on whatever in case they see me and testify that my dad is good because he did not hit her

update i called my sister and she helped me work through my thoughts. also i think mom is bluffing because she's sitting in the living room on instagram. there's no proof he hit her because, again, he didn't..? she says she will still call them and she's super testy but i have to control my mouth because, regardless, i don't need her actually calling the police. which means all of her stupid little remarks have to be ignored and i just need to go to my room. why can't i even be sick comfortably bro. ever since she came back she's ruined our lives. istg if she actually does call them dad said he's going to kick her out and send her to a retirement home. seriously. she is insane. i hate the word narcissist because i feel like it's overused but she has narcissistic traits and also brain damage/dementia from health issues that she literally created because of her own ego and now dad and i have to help her.

this isn't like dad's stroke. his was caused by stress because he's a chronically stressed person who can't manage his emotions, but mom is literally the epitome of pride. she thinks she's holy and was chosen by god or something. wild. anyway i kind of want her to go to a home because i hate dealing with this. just let me be sick, jesus christ. i'm trying to get better and hug my dog but no! bliss you need to make sure ur insane mother doesn't try to send ur dad to jail! ugh. mind you the tone for this whole rant is /annoyed and /frustrated

also side note the chicken smoothie community has been the most supportive playerbase i've ever had the pleasure of being in. i love you guys so much this is such a comfort site