Write a Letter You Cannot Send (Read the Rules!)

[.Kira Nightblade.]

Dear C
"And I don't really know what tomorrow holds, but I've finally realized, if this our last goodbye until we're gone..."
"And if you can't be next to me, your memory is ecstasy."
Those two songs have been hitting really really hard..
I thought you were coming back within a week or two, but turns out it's not till the day after Christmas...
but surely if you cared, you'd ask to hang out, even before you come back to work?
Or will you be worried that if it goes wrong, it'd be awkward when you do come back to work?..
I dunno.
But if you didn't care why reach out at all?
Why spend three hours on a call?
Why do all the little things that you've done?
I just.. don't know where this is going. Man am I going to be glad when it's over, one way or another.
If you don't think it'll work, I'll never see you again after January.
Feels like I'm just waiting to say goodbye.
And maybe we should. God, we probably should.
But I really really don't want to.
Seeya later.

[0009]

hey chickensmoothie.

it's been oneeeeee ride, hasn't it? granted, i'm not writing this because i don't plan to come to this website again. on the contrary i do believe i'm going to visit this place for the foreseeable future. but well.

to think i joined all those years ago when i was a child, and now i'm here. a college student in its final year.

man.

it kinda hurts. i don't know why. bittersweet, you know? coming back here, seeing the growth, the changes, the loss.. it's all very surreal how this sort of place acts like a weird.. time capsule, you know? i used to spend hours on this site, lurking, reading, connecting.. in a way. it felt.. so.. cool.

like all things, some parts have changed and some have not.

well. it was nice seeing you. i'll be back.

[RavingRaven]

Dear C,

You were my best friend until you weren't.
For many years I had followed you, admired you, and even looked up to you. I am sorry it was not enough. I tried to feed your ego to make you feel on top of the world. I never was, I was always at the bottom, and it never bothered me...
What else could I do? You were always sad. More so than me, at least that is what you made me believe.
I ask, why did you keep me around so long? Don't, I already know the answer. You used me and for what benefit? Yes, I fed your ego, but I didn't make you any more popular. I didn't make you new friends. I didn't throw money at you. So why were you so mean? My presence angered you, but then you'd Facetime me later that night. My voice irritated you, but you still talked to me. My actions were embarrassing to you, but you still laughed...
What is a best friend's role in a relationship? I'll let you decide. Maybe your definition has changed. Either way, you lost your chance to explain. It's been two years since I've seen you and I do not foresee that changing anytime soon. Why you ask? Because my birthday wishes to you every year go unnoticed.
I am happy that I no longer live beneath you. I have no one to boss me around anymore or do favors that are never returned. You no longer control me anymore. I'm sorry that this hurts you so deeply. I know you hate to be alone. But I can be a puppet no more. You aren't alone and you never were.

Please do not reach out. I can't take another one of your heartbreaks. I have better friends now. Friends that could see right through you when I could not.
I genuinely ask you to take care of yourself. Have fun in life, and meet new people that you actually care about. I know it's hard choosing the right people to be in our life. I am sorry I was not one of them. Take care C. Maybe one day we will run into each other, and give each other goodbyes that we never gave. You were a memory filled with fun until you weren't.

[splity]

Dear N, M, E, H, I don't know what you go by now, but you're the same person you always were.

I feel as if you never changed. Like, at all. I feel like what you did to me fueled you to do it more. Now, for example, to K. Ever since you found out that K was dating K you started again. Don't you have your own business to deal to? Don't you have your own life to take care of? So why are you making the same mistake again. I hate you now. You used to be something to me, but now you're nothing. An embarrassment. Why?

I'm confused more than anything. What do you get out of it? My innocence? My vulnerability? Why? You used to actually be my best friend. Look what you did. And you're still doing it, you're still the same person you were. And I'm convinced you'll never change. You'll never be anything.

Didn't you steal my whole hyperfixation? Dude, it's creepy. As soon as I called you out, you started to have an attachment to my favorite animal. That's really creepy man. I don't even feel bad anymore, and I never have. You're not a good person. And how am I the stalker when you drove me back for your own selfish gain and then got courage to come back?? Like hello??? I don't want you that bad?? I want to meet other BETTER people that isn't YOU.

You have an insane ego that isn't okay. You seriously need a reality check.

I hope you better yourself, but thats not my problem. You're only ruining your own life.

[teaparty]

dear 2021 pj,

you have come so far and gone through so much just to go through with going to the navy. do not let anyone tell you to not go. none of it will be worth it when you decide to not go to bootcamp. there is temporary happiness followed by an immense amount of struggle ahead. while you got some really great things out of the consequences, your life will be harder than you had ever expected. remember dec 2020? that post you made while sitting in the starbucks parking lot? that feeling times a million.

please go through with it. everything he tells you is just a tactic to use your fears against you. you are strong and you can handle bootcamp. semper fortis, in another life.

with love, 2023 pj

[harrington]

text so this doesn't show up on my post feed because it's so embarrassing i'm gonna explode
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did you guys know that baptiste and mauga from hit game overwatch by activision blizzard are soooo tragic. just like genji and hanzo . and soldier and reaper. and sombra and sigma. and and and and and and. .

b,
i'm so angry at myself LMAO. i feel like i'm about to lose my mind.
you know you're my best friend, right?

i wish i didn't stay late that day. i wish i didn't watch you perform. i wish i didn't listen to your voice.

because now i think i've fallen for you, and i don't know what to do.


i'm gonna tear my hair out

[sorellabac]

dear s

ha ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha ha ha
ha ha

lol!

from me!

[Resplendent]

G,
Hello, my girl 💖 I hope you're doing well.

Today I went to a middle school choir concert with my mom, and... for the first time in years I saw 8th graders running around in the hallways. All of them looked so young... so baby-looking. It made me realize that I, in fact, have grown up. I never thought I looked baby-ish when I was that age, and my classmates didn't either. Of course, I do remember when I was in 6th grade thinking the 8th graders were huge, while in 8th grade I thought the 6th graders were tiny.

But even the 8th graders looked small and child-like to me when I saw them. It makes me wonder, is that how you saw me back then? Am I finally seeing through your lens? Or, at least, a similar lens to yours? An adult- or older person, rather- seeing children.

It was a very odd experience, but gratifying at the same time. I was struck with the realization that I am no longer a child. I am now, in fact, an adult... Yet, I still feel like that same 12-year-old you met. I feel like I haven't changed all that much, but to be honest... I think I have.

As I get older, I feel like I understand you a little bit more. I always saw you as a future projection of myself... An example of a person I could, and would become. It makes me happy, because... It means I'm getting closer to that future projection I saw in myself all those years ago; the [my name] that middle-school-me wanted to become. Of course, the experience made me feel old, but... it was a beautiful experience. As the students sang their songs, I nearly got emotional at this realization. I am succeeding in becoming the person I've wanted to become since I met you. The person that radiates her own kind of awesome, just like you.

I miss you, G. I still think about you. I hope one day we'll talk again... but I still have work to do. And when I come back, I hope you will see just how awesome I've become.

- M

[cowboylikeme]

d,

it makes me really angry that you just stopped talking to all of us as soon as covid gave you a good enough reason to and even angrier that i miss you and wish things were different. you still live 30 seconds down the street from me but i haven't seen you in 3 years and i know i probably wont again. i did a lot for you that i shouldn't have and i never appreciated the way you acted like you were the only one going through hard stuff. but i still miss you. actually i think i miss your cats more? im sorry moose never came home
hope all is well regardless. hope you got your license

[Onion_707]

Hi.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I've been ignoring you. Its the only way I can control how I feel about this.
So,
There's been a few... changes... since I last talked to you.
To be honest,
I miss it.
I miss when we would stay up all night talking to each other
even if it was just about.. I don't know... some cool bug you found by your window. I miss it.
Even though I got no sleep at all, and I fell asleep at school, I'd rather that than whatever is happening now.
I'm just... so scared... so jealous. you know how I am, don't you?
It's not you, it's me. I'm sorry that I'm this way.

I still remember the first time we talked to each other, when you were so much happier, so much more lively.
We were chatting instead of listening to whatever the teacher said, and my mom got mad at me for not paying attention.

Then, I got your Instagram handle, and then we could chat outside of school too!
That's when everything changed.

I wonder what would've happened if all that never happened. What if I never responded to the private chats you sent me, and just listened to the teacher.
Well, none of this stressful stuff would've happened, but I don't regret it.
It was nice having you as a friend, but I think you'd be better off without me.

Thank you, M.