by Paprikat » Sat Oct 21, 2023 1:30 am
i hate calling people out. I don't want her to hate me or be upset with me or be embarrassed, but i had to call her out on it, so it didn't make it awkward in future. i feel so bad. maybe she'll read it wrong. maybe i should've said it to her face, not over text. but then i'd probably mess it up. i'm so scared, because i don't know her very well so idk how she'll react.
i have soo much to do, and i can't draw. i spent an hour working on a sketch yesterday but i just can't post it. i hate it. i feel like i'm abandoning digital art. i know it's only been over a week, but just the idea of sitting down and drawing makes me lose motivation. i've had this before, i mean, most artists get art block, but i can't see it ending. so much to do. so little to draw.
oh and ofc the party tomorrow. idk why i said i'd go. WHY? it's a bad idea. she will try and ruin it for me. i don't know if i'll even have anyone to talk to, and she will try and ruin it. she goes out of her way to do it all the time. i really don't need her spreading rumours, making fun of me, talking about me right in front of me and trying to make me feel awful right now. but it's gonna happen. what am i meant to do- just go on my phone the entire time? there's only a few people i could talk to, but no one i can actually hold a conversation with. i could always just not show up, or leave early, but i don't want to upset her. she's sweet, at least from what i can tell. idk how much she's changed. It's 12:30am, so this is probably just me overthinking and freaking out but oh well. just a lot going on. i hope she won't be upset. i hope my friends would learn to take me seriously sometimes and not make fun of me when i'm stressed -_-. i hope i can draw soon. i hope this party doesn't ruin my week. aghhh why
<3 Sig made by muse; /

\
/
\
/
\ hello! i'mpaprikattoyhouse
credit

<3 she/they/xe
<3 furry and therian