TheComfortCorner | V.10

[Paprikat]

you know when you're really happy? And everything is going fine and good. Then something happens, or someone says something and you just... fall apart? It's really scary to think that every happy time could be torn up so quickly. Just a few words. i don't mean i was happy then a bit sad. I mean i was happy then crying and really really upset. i hate this. i don't want it to keep happening. i want to go home. everything changed in 2022. things became worse with them, everything became so complicated with my best friend. I wish we were normal again. it was fun to think we liked each other, but since we've told each other, i just don't feel the same way anymore? Like... i thought i really liked her but now i just don't feel that... i don't know what happened. and i miss my ex-best friend so much. she's toxic, horrible, ruined my year last year, stole my friends and i hate her. but i miss her and i wish she was still my friend. i know it's weird but i miss her so so so much. 2020 was a great year. i miss that year. she wasn't always great but she was not a horrible person. we still had fun. she changed, just became... so so toxic. i miss the simpler times. there is always something to worry about now. them. her. her friends. my stupid ears are ringing and it's just stressing me out. i keep saying, everyone keeps saying that things will go back to normal. but it's been a year or so. i think this is the new normal. happiness, but living on the edge. at any point, something could happen that breaks my world. im writing this here so that i don't have to over overthink it at night. i wish i got more sleep. i could if i tried, but my sleep schedule is broken. i'm happy, mostly. most things are good, until i think about everything else. it's weird. when we were friends, i got so annoyed at her, and i was happy to finally stop giving her 'second' chances. now i miss her more than anything. i shouldn't, she's horrible. she is toxic to other people and says bad things. i miss the old her, not the new her. that's why i could never be friends with her again. i love my best friend. we hold hands, i like that, but i still don't like her in that way. they always say to focus on the good things and not the bad things. but it's hard, because once you think about the bad things, you end up dumping it all out onto an online forum. chicken smoothie is great. it's been my escape for a while, but some things i can't escape, not when it's happening all around me. just struggling. it'll be good in a couple days, maybe even a couple hours. i'll be fine again, pretend to forget it all. but then again, in a couple days or even a couple hours, it might be 100x worse. i wish they'd stop fighting, i wish they'd not say that stuff about me, i wish our relationship un-complicated itself, i wish she would leave me alone, i wish she was happy, i wish he was happy, i wish i had the energy to do work, i wish i had the sleep schedule to function properly.
just needed to dump this out ;-;

[LittleMaple]

School will be starting back up in 4? Days and im really scared. I no longer have my drama dad to protect me and i feel like ive grown distant from everyone (per usual) and idk man :( i feel like i only have half-friends that i dont get to really tell my interests to. I want to talk about my interests!!! I like sharks and bugs and cats a lot (A Lot) and have a bunch of clangen cats but thats seen as "cringe" in the real world, especially where i live. I want to show off my art to my friends and let them know what im up to but. Idk. Im scared and lonely. At least i have ceramics this year im looking forward to that :3 sadly it didnt line up with my drama mom's schedule and we dont have it at the same time so i wont even really have him :( weeeehhhhh idk. Also feeling very romantically lonely??? Everyone at this school makes me feel gross when im around them and i know if i wore the style i want to (shorts+croptops+lots of jewelry) they would call me weird and i dont respect that kind of people so i dont wanna date them!!!!! I know ill meet some new people but most of them will be younger than me and that makes me uncomfortable like. A lot. Ugh!!!! Why am i like this </3

[Corals Art Studio]

Why were you never there for me when I needed you most. You always said you loved me and would care for me my entire life. The amount of times I told you I was not Ok but you said I was just saying things that were not true. The amount of pain you caused me the amount of trust you have broken with me. You are my parents arent you supposed to be here for me and support me through all of my hardships but NO you told me everything was alright my entire life for the last 5 years you said I was fine. I have tried talking to you and you still do not listen to what I need to say you say it is all a made up illness and that nobody really has it. I want you to please leave me alone and stop trying to tell me I do not need help when I really do need help.

I have chosen to remove you from my life which has been the worst thing a child would have to do and say to their parent. You never stopped causing me mental pain and never believed in me and would always tell me that dreams were for the wanna be in the world and that I could never have that. I have given up on so many dreams because of you two. I have had problems all of my life and all you say is that I am ok and that there is no problem with me. You never listen. Why would you do this to your child.
You told me all of my life that mental illness is a made up disease to let people get through life easily and when I try and tell you that it is not a made up thing you just say i am being irrational and that I am trying to get a easy life. My life has been everything from easy and perfect. I have seen too many things and have thoughts that you need to hear and that I need to talk about. BUT YOU NEVER WANNA LISTEN.

[amaoretto]

i think i might be depressed,,, idk i don’t want to self diagnose so i won’t.

i’m seeing my therapist tomorrow so i’ll bring it up with her, but she told me that within the coming weeks i’ll have a mental crash and i think it’s currently happening.
with my mom moving on friday, my life being so mundane, having like 3 friends (one moved out of state), and having no clue what to do with myself, i can agree this is a crash. all i do is sit at home and rot with my free time, i want to get up and do things but i end up feeling so heavy that i don’t. i’ve been trying to get new work pants for a few weeks now, my current ones are 2 sizes too big but they were the only pants they had at the moment, all i have to do is drive 10 minutes and boom i’m at the store. but no the couch is so nice and my home is so cozy,,,, ill try to do it tomorrow but we’ll see what happens. im so confused and lost at the moment i hope it gets better and clearer soon.

[sapphipop]

week 2 of my new job and it's been going pretty well thus far, except for the fact that i'm potentially getting a cold and four people left early today due to being sick as well,, i really don't want to have to call off or leave early and lose hours and money if i'm getting sick too

[keayi]

Not sure if this is the place to post this but..

I did it. I deleted all my social medias. One stupid argument with some close friends over one media, people took things too personally, I was maybe too general, or vague, and I was done. Time to focus on things that matter. If they want to keep up with me, they can text, or call.

Time to be bored, I suppose...

[viles]

• i feel so stuck,, i've been thinking about messaging my sibling to see if i could stay with them for a night or two,, i just i need out of here,, i need away from this house, from these cats, from everything,, i know it wouldnt fix anything and coming back would be tortuous but idk what else to do,, i just feel like something has to change,, and i know i'm working on getting a license so i can get a job and get a car so i can move out,, but it's just that's so far away,, that's so Hypothetical and i don't even feel like i'm gonna be capable of doing any of that, of actually supporting myself. i feel like i'm not capable of being on my own. and i also recognize that that mindset is at least part of the, if not the entire, reason that i am stuck. i just,, i want out. i want something to change, to feel like there's hope even if it's just for a second,, i just,, idk. i haven't messaged my sibling because part of me thinks that i'm not....hurting enough to reach out for help, even in such...a minute way. like, idk, i'm not like,, i just this is the first breakdown i've had like this in a bit. like, this isn't everyday for me, yk? and i feel like,, i don't deserve any help because of that. and if i weren't me, i would tell myself that i should reach out. but i just,, idk. i know myself and i know twenty-four hours from now im not gonna be having this same breakdown. i'm gonna be thinking about genshin or whatever stupid thing is on my mind,, and i just. idk. i don't know. i don't know what will help me. i don't know what to do. i just...i want to sleep i want to stop thinking about this i want to have a moment of peace, of ACTUAL peace not just distraction,, but idk. i don't know if this because of the situation or because of the hormones or because of my brain,, i don't even know if knowing the cause would help me in any way. i'm just tired and overwhelmed and angry and defeated,, i just. idk
  
  side note: the highlight of my breakdown was when i started crying and i noticed my voice sounded noticeably deeper. like,, i started laughing while i was crying because it was just like,, a Trans Win:tm: even among my messiness skjhskjh,, i've been having voice cracks, but idk. i didn't think it had changed that much,,, but like my crying sounds different and that's so cool. i just,, idk i wanted to point that out to have something to hold onto

[Arlecchino ♡]

the "community" here is so unwelcoming it makes my head spin. in all my years playing, I've never felt anything but silence and looked down on.

i hate that i have to give up something i enjoy to keep my peace, but you gotta do what's best for yourself.

[Wall Eating Lizards]

I still got that scene of a kid in my algebra class having a seizure in my head. It's almost been a year, yet that thing still haunts me

[fiirstcrush]

my health issues have flared up again and i've been bedbound the past week, its incredibly stressful. i thought i was good since i haven't had it flare up in a year but its worse than last time and i am literally 4 days away from starting college. kind of sucks