by Celozon » Sun Aug 06, 2023 3:56 am
I have not had time to read the entirety of this thread myself and as such this isn't a response to everyone who may have spoken on this topic, but I did read a few posts discussing mod 'rudeness' in warnings & pms and I would just like to add my own input as a moderator and previous GH. Also apologies ahead of time for the giant text wall.
I do feel there is a bit of a vocabulary issue here saying mod responses are 'rude', just in that what one person considers rude can be very different to another and to be very clear: any outright rudeness and harassment is not allowed on CS, this includes moderators. You can report us if you think we are being outright rude. But from what I've been seeing user's discussing, it seems what many of you are actually referring to is bluntness. And at least personally there is a big difference to me between bluntness and rudeness. So I would suggest maybe giving some examples of what you have issues with rather than just giving a vague 'mods are rude' as that does not differentiate on bluntness vs actual rudeness. Personally I don't consider a mod saying 'x is against the rules. Do not do this again' as rude. It is very blunt and personally I usually try to be a bit nicer, but I would like to differentiate that from actual rudeness and just calling it 'rude' may cause people who haven't been involved in these interaction to assume you mean actual rudeness.
And in terms of mod bluntness in warnings (or PMs), I do think its important to remember that we are site staff. Part of our job is to have a certain level of professionalism and separation between our personal feelings and enforcing the site rules. I personally am not going to add emojis or text faces to warnings, it just comes across very unprofessional (in my opinion). And just, in my own opinion, if we were to soften our speech and make warnings or PMs out to not be as big a deal, I fully believe user's aren't going to take them as seriously. To be clear, warnings and PMs generally aren't a big deal - so long as you understand what rule was broken and how, and start following it. So I do think there is a level of necessary bluntness in these cases, making it clear that it is important that you understand that a rule was broken and that it needs to be followed. It can be a difficult line to walk at times, I really do try to be as gentle as possible when sending messages while still making it clear what was broken and that we we expect these rules to be followed, but sometimes we must be incredibly blunt because its just not getting through to the user.
I do also think its interesting how users consider and approach GHs vs moderators, AAs, admins, etc. I started as a GH back in 2015 and switched to mod in 2019, and personally I felt a lot closer in general with the userbase as a GH. Users used to approach me individually a lot more often with questions or wanting to talk when I was a GH. Its understandable, I'm a mod now and there can be a certain level of apprehension when seeing or approaching a mod. But at times it can feel like a bit of a double standard saying mods feel distant or don't interact with users enough. I'm more than happy to talk and discuss things as a regular user and not a mod, but I know how people see me. I do sometimes limit my interactions due to this as well cause it feels like I can't just chat with people the same way. GHs are also mainly answer questions so there is no 'threat' to interacting with them the same why as its interpreted from a mod. And I'm also not a super social person in the first place so certain parts of interacting with the userbase don't come naturally to me regardless (like forum games, big discord groups, etc).
What I do as a mod is also really just an extension of what I did as a GH too. Many users don't seem to realize they can use our ticket system for more than just reporting. We highly encourage users to send in tickets to ask if something would be against the rules or ask for clarification, I try to include that point on almost every warning/pm I send out. Please, if you are scared of breaking a rule just send in a ticket and ask us for more info on it and we will do our best to help clarify it for you. We don't just hand out warnings as mods, we also answer questions above the GH level, we do things like help mediate if there is a disagreement over a commission or not getting a response from someone on an agreement, etc. Our job isn't just to enforce the site rules but to assist users with problems they are having. It feels like a lot of users view us as adversaries rather than a tool to be utilized, and that can color how you view pms and warnings from us.
All that said I do also want to add that I do have social anxiety, its not something I talk about a lot but its always made social interactions and gauging other people's tone and my own tone correctly a bit difficult, so I can acknowledge that perhaps I'm coming off a lot more blunt than I intend to. I'm also not saying that nothing needs to be changed on our side, I do think its important to be open to criticism, but I also believe in constructive criticism. Just saying 'mods are rude' doesn't do anything to help us change things if we actually are being rude. Its also part of why I'm not a fan of these giant topics full of many different suggestions, no one suggestion really gets fully discussed. If you want something changed I suggest making separate topics for specific suggestions so an actual discussion can be had about that specifically. It would be really helpful for us if users would discuss things like: short and long term expectations, what and how it would be implemented, pros and cons to the changes, what would be considered a realistic expectation vs what would be really nice but probably can't happen. This is just something that is a lot more actionable for us as staff. This applies to pretty much all the suggestions here btw not just 'mods are rude' but this in particular would be easy for us to change on a personal level if we actually understood user expectations and not just a vague sense that you all think we are rude ^^'
As mentioned, I did not get a chance to read every post concerning this so some user's posts I may fully agree with and I just haven't seen them as they are going to get buried petty easily in this giant thread, another good reason to have separate threads. I mainly just addressed what I did see and other common complaints I hear in general (I also had to stop halfway through writing this to go do something else so I have not read over many of the recent posts that may have talked about some of these specifics). And this is of course all just my personal opinion not an official stance or anything.
i had only been there like 2 weeks at the time and the way the mod went through all my socials made me uncomfortable
!! he/him 
mainly looking for eastern dragons, valentines pets, internet themed pets, space themed pets, food/object pets (especially strawberry), and bunniess. hoarding croissant rats!!!!
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