TheComfortCorner | V.10

[arcadia.]

• help.
  
  just found out that another person that’s close to me in my life has cancer.
  that’s two people close to me who are currently going through cancer
  then there’s the other two (very incredible) people close to me who have overcome cancer.
  what’s next? I’m going to get cancer? one of my siblings is?
  i can’t do this for much longer. i’m going to break soon.

[screamingrainfrog]

I think I'm constantly struggling with depression but it's gotten worse and I'm really not feeling good
Just realised it's been like sixteen straight days ugh
I am so drained

[breadstick]

getting stress headaches again! this is not fun!

[demodog]

snip

[basil!]

sometimes i hate being autistic
it feels like things that bother me dont bother others at all and actually no one even notices them but me
i start melting down over the dumbest things and theres nothing i can do about it
im always trying to be a normal person i dont think i know what its like to take time to myself anymore
i always feel guilty too for having these feelings for acting in those ways and for being so unreasonable
and when people ask me and i cant do anything
sometimes it feels like my brain is itchy it is on fire and i need to crawl out of my own skin
i dnt want to use words it makes me feel disgustinf somerimes i wish there was som eother way to commuyniate and i know that there are but like i don tknow i am not bery coherent

[Soy Sauce]

Theres a gaping whole in my heart. Constantly aching. Pulling any joy i have into it. Constant fear. Missing. Wishing. My heart doesn’t understand itself.
Im not excited for my birthday

[viles]

• worried over something silly. i shouldnt be awake still but i stayed up thinking about it hhgfhgf i hope my brain will shut up so i can sleep
  
  edit: still haven't slept. i need to put my gel on in three hours but idk if i can stay up that late. it'll only be about twenty-four hours but idk i just feel Beyond Exhausted right now. idk how i used to do this all the time. idk maybe i can put it on now??? but i don't want to mess anything up. i asked my doctor and they said the time didn't really make a difference so :shrug: sdjhfkjsh i think im gonna do it now so i dont like,, fall asleep and have to put it on Way Later:tm: than im supposed to,,, idk i was not supposed to mess up my sleep schedule i hate that ive done this to myself again </333
  
  edit: tired brain forgot word had to add it so the sentence made sense sdkjfhsk
  
  edit: idk what people want from me sometimes....and then other times i think i know what they want but i dont wanna assume what they want and they're kinda indirect even when i ask them...and then other times they make it obvious what they want me to do and i just blatantly ignore their signals. like sjkfhkjh idk someone just stopped me as i was headed to my room and was like 'what are you doing' and then i was like 'headed to my room wbu' and then they said 'bringing in things from the car' and i said 'cool' and left but like KJDHFKJSHDFKH idk i dont know if they were like,, wanting me to help bring stuff in? bc they didn't say that. but idk why else they would ask ykyk,, i just. im too tired to be overthinking things like this and yet here i am. i just idk. like, sure i couldve asked if they wanted help but it didnt occur to me in the moment and now im in my room and i think theyve already finished bringing stuff in bc i heard the Big Door shut and so its too late but now im like,,, are they going to think that im rude bc i didnt help bring stuff in???? i still dont even know for sure if thats what they wanted,, maybe they just wanted to talk to me idk :shrug: and then like,, idk theres another part of brain that is like 'you're just manufacturing this conflict subconsciously bc you wanna fit your autism diagnosis' and like,, i have no clue if that's even true or not but it could be??? like skjdhfksh i just want to go to sleep so i dont have to think about this anymore :////
  also i got a bit of testosterone gel on my chin i think it's dried now but i hope it doesnt mess anything up sfkjh
  
  edit: stupid silly thing before i try to go to bed - a game ive been looking forward to for Some Time is coming to xbox after i JUST decided to use my gift card i had been saving for that very game </333 like,, ik i need a job and that's a whole other thing but like,, :sob: im so mad!!! idk how long it's going to take to be release but like i hope i have Money by then im gonna be v upset (with myself) if i cant play it

[RaeOfHope<3]

I’m just so depressed… winter is so stupidly hard to function through, I can’t take my head out of my phone because as soon as I do my head is full of anger and self hatred… a child’s game is my sanity right now.. that feels sad to me.

[rabidcoyote]

This is a checkpoint! If you're reading this, you've made it.

Yay! We can rest here a while, but let's hit the road soon, okay?

[☆soldier☆]

im. im sick of this. everytime i talk to them and they don't text back my paranoia worsens and i just get more and more miserable. i need school to start back so i can see them every day or im going to lose it. im lonely, i know people have lives but its im lucky if i even get a response within two days. they're the best friends ever and i love them so much but its horrific being the "tries to talk to them every day but never gets any kind of response during the summer" friend.

i don't know how much longer i can handle this. i want to say something to them but i know i can't. ill just end up ticking them off and/or hurting them. the last thing i want is to make my [platonic] beloveds feel guilty.