TheComfortCorner | V.9

[demodog]

i wish i felt whole. i wish i didnt feel like life was just a loop of the same thing with barely different events.

[eden;]

how about i sit here and let this sense of doom drown me

[sharky]

I was TRYING to forget you existed. And the second I see your face again I find the messages you tried sending, the amount of guilt I feel. I know I shouldn't and your forcing these feelings on me. But it still feels genuine.. still hurts. I want to apologize, but.. that's wrong.. im sure it is.. I'm not the villain here.. right?

EDIT: oh god I'm gonna regret this... I'm so sorry. I hope you know you're the only ones I want to be with, you care.. I can see that. But I've got to protect you too.. protect myself.. my irl friends..I'm sorry.. I've messed up

[okabudge]

GOD i wish i wasn't so awkward about making friends. do i ask too many questions? am i too much? people are just so awesome and i love getting to know them, but i can never shake the feeling that maybe i'm being weird.

[Paprikat]

ahhhhh i'm not ready
i'm not ready i mean i can set boundaries and stuff but i'm just not ready
i miss our old friendship and now it feels like it's all about holding hands and stuff which i enjoy but it also feels like ughh idkkk my brain is messy :((

[pandaa]

the school year is finally over…wow. i dont know how i feel.

[BigGayDisaster]

I wish my housemates would take me to the store when they go so I could get food to eat when the thought of eating meat/animal products makes me nauseous
But, no, there's nothing of substance that is free of meat, dairy, eggs, or things I'm allergic to in this house unless I want to eat a handful of sad, soggy cauliflower and nothing else :^(

[Guest]

I hate making big decisions about other creature's lives. But today we did it.
And it's so complicated because in one had you're not god, you don't get to decide who lives or dies, but on the other hand the patient is your responsibility and you're supposed to do what's best for them.
Despite our decision to not reanimate is supported by the law it still feels so wrong not to do it when the parents asked us to reanimate
The thing is... we did. 5 times.
And she was in a coma for a long time before that not showing any signs she would be able to come back. She didn't even react to deep pain. Her pupils were different sizes and didn't react to light, her lungs weren't working by themselves for a few hours.
There is truly nothing we could do
We just had to let her go.
Still feels so wrong. But it was so right.

[Captain. A. Stark.]

i'm having a rough time.

a few months ago, i met this guy. he's super hot and whenever we talked, he was very sweet. i grew to look forward to the time we spent together everyday and he started flirting with me and we both fell. we've been dating for a couple of months now but he's gotten progressively well..less understanding and patient.

he constantly calls me stupid. whenever we have an argument, i know what i'm talking about but my adhd doesn't allow me to get my point across cohesively. whereas he can organize his thoughts and list everything in a way so i can understand it. recently, he asked me to come visit him in canada in july. personally, i would love to. i have no objection. but my parents would never let me go. i told him i'd talk to them and let him know. he's been getting really impatient with it all and we've argued about it so much. he pinned a quote in our dm's that basically says "you tell me one thing and change it later on down the line." he said i'm going to prove him right with it. pretty much every day he's told me i'm not actually going to come to canada although i've been trying my absolute hardest. tonight, he said "i'm just waiting for you to prove my quote right so i can walk away."

man, that hurt. i've been through so much crap to be in this relationship with him. i've fought with my parents endlessly so i can be on a phone call to keep him company all the time, i've sacrificed time with my friends to be with him, i've forgone doing my important schoolwork to take care of him because he gets upset whenever i'm gone for more than three hours seemingly. and it just turns out he's waiting to walk away? does he see anything in me? who says that? he tells me he loves me but it's never felt so false. he constantly tells me i'm dumb, pressures me into sending or saying things i'm not fully comfortable with. and when he's mad, he gets so mean. there was this one time i wouldn't stream a movie for him because it was from a piracy website that he wouldn't tell me anything about. i remember that conversation vividly because i told him that if he wanted me to stream from this link, i needed to know how he went about getting it and that was the reason i wouldn't stream that movie for him. i mentioned this a few times when he continued to say how stupid it was that i wouldn't stream for him and he told me "i'm not going to tell you where i got it from, no means no. i don't want to watch movies with you anyway." that was so mean. i ended up leaving for a little bit and calling him back once he'd calmed down a bit but the things he says when he's pissed makes me uncomfortable. given he did apologize but it was still so weird.

but yeah. him saying he's going to walk away is beyond weird. he's being really mean right now too when i brought up how strange it was for him to say that about a situation that wasn't in my control. it hurts so much. that i've sacrificed my happiness at home and my social life to keep him entertained and he's ready to walk because he doesn't want to bother to understand me or anything i have to say. he might just be being mean again but it's still so awful that he'd say that to me.

[viles]

• cw paranoia
  i watched season four of you today. i'd been putting it off, because i knew if i watched that show by myself it would make me anxious BUT i did it anyway and now i'm cowering on my bed. idk im trying not to look out my windows or think about the show too much but it's difficult. i feel like im being watched but i know it's just in my head. i want to go to sleep but i have Things that need to be done,, things that require me leaving my room,, i just,, my room has the least windows right? so like,, idk i'm just able to give myself some sense of security bc i know there are ways i can hide myself, like laying very flat on my bed with my blanket covering my entire body. but if i go into the kitchen there's not really any way for me to hide. i just,,, i shouldnnt have watched that show i should not have done that dskjfhskdjfh idk i started very early in the day bc i was like 'oh itll be fine if i get anxious i can just save it for tomorrow' but ofc i didnt do that bc i got sucked into the plot of the show and now its dark and im just,,, aaa idk i dont think im having an anxiety attack but i do feel anxious and i wanna cry a bit?? idk i just want to go to sleep but i need to at least go brush my teeth before going to bed but now i dont even wanna walk around my room kjsdhf idk idk