Write a Letter You Cannot Send (Read the Rules!)

[mourning dove]

victor

i wonder if youre a part of this. i wonder if you're sitting back and watching my pain. i wondered if you enjoyed that last month together. i wonder if you enjoyed stripping me of all love and attention, just as soon as you'd given it to me.
i doubt you were a part of this. maybe you were. i wont know. just tell them to leave me alone.

the group

i want peace. ive moved on. why do you continue to harass me? why do you bother me when i want nothing to do with you? sure, its not all of you. but whoever is actively watching my account and whoever submitted that comment... leave me alone. ive been through enough because of the lies you spread. it hurts so much.

my love

youre so sweet to me. you make my chest hurt. i'd do anything for you. the thought that one day these people might find you and try to spread lies to you... it worries me. i dont want to lose anyone else. ive lost so much already. i only have our group, my friend kayden's group [which im not super close with], and my irls [who im also not super close with]. what more must i give for peace? what else will be ripped from me? all i want is you. i'm tired of losing, i wish you'd come over here and make me full. i crave your warmth, to be held in your arms. i surrender to their words, as long as you'll stay.

[stardustreserve]

i hope you know that i never stopped loving you
and i wish, i wish so badly that things could go back to the way they were
i care a lot about you, even if it’s hard for me to show it
you’ve… gotten closer to me than anyone ever has, it’s… baffling.
like even with _, i still feel like there’s some sort of wall they have yet to get past—
but…
you’ve seen nearly everything. and i feel… comfortable around you.
i feel… safe? i don’t know what word describes it. more, free, i guess?
.. i wish i could somehow bring you the same feeling.

i still don’t know if you’re upset with me or not, though.
i should’ve done something, said something, anything—
i always assume if someone wants to bother talking to me they will
i assume that once people stop talking, they don’t need me anymore
i have… such a warped view of things that always gets in the way.
i’m sorry i was… absent.
i… thought that you knew i was there. that i’m here— but… i guess you can’t know a ghost is there unless it makes itself known.
i— wish i could tell you how i feel. i wish you knew how important you are to me.
how you were the one i showed the most to.
how you’re the one i’ve been closest to

i don’t… know if i’d be capable of that with someone else. something about that place we carved out in the middle of nowhere seems like a safe haven that you couldn’t find anywhere else… it’s special.

… i hope that one day, we’ll start talking again like nothing happened

- c

[ChaoticRaven3]

I'm glad that it's over now, that I don't have to worry about saying something bad or making you upset every second of every day. I'm happier now. But, sometimes, I can't stop thinking about you. I play my songs over and over, and think about the things that you said, when I know I should just let go. I feel like you're still affecting me. I haven't written for months now, and it hurts. I can't write. I try, but I can't. Why can't I find the joy in the things that I used to?
And I still want you to be okay. I know that things got harder for you after we parted ways. I know that I was your only safe space, and I'm glad that I was helping you. But it was hurting me. And I couldn't help you if I myself was struggling.
Can you just let me let go? Please? I know I haven't written in forever, and that's part of the problem too. I need to start writing again, just a little bit at a time. I need to take back the thing that I loved and make it mine again. I want writing to be my joy again. I need to reclaim my happiness, and myself.
Maybe I'll start today. And I hope that you're able to move on too. I don't want you to be struggling. But I can't help you up close, so I can only wish from afar.

what if I could open up my eyes
and let the rain fall from the sky
what if I could run away from time
could I erase, erase all the lies
oh will I ever learn to let go
will I ever learn to let it die
will I ever learn to let go
will I ever learn to let it die
let it die
(lyrics from "Let it Die" by Rival)

[BigGayDisaster]

Dear Ham & Cheese Sandwich the hamster-

Please stop chewing the wood of the cage I gave you so many different chew toys
You have at least 3 sticks, a hay ball, a rope with sticks, another rope with pumice stone, and a braided corn husk chain
In hindsight, wood in a hamster cage is not a good idea- but I've never had a hamster before and you were kinda thrust upon me with a few hours notice so you'll forgive me that I didn't think of that
I guess I'll just have to find a way to reinforce the wood if you get past the ledge bit
At least you're not gnawing on the actual parts that keep you from escaping
(PS your new wheel is coming soon)

-Your very tired caregiver, who would still die for you regardless of your desire to wreck your cage

[sweathie]

I've been noticing your posts lately.

2016. I was in a bad relationship. I was afraid of leaving that person because of what they said to me. I couldn't emotionally babysit them after they drained me dry of all my energy. I stayed up long nights, talking on the phone, hoping things would get better, and they just didn't. They blew up at me and left me after I couldn't pull them out of the pit they threw themselves into.

I made endless posts about it. I was screaming into the void. Nobody could see through the veil of happiness I slapped onto everything.

I'm out the other side now. I want to reach out to those that might be in the same place I was; to be the adult and helping hand that I needed. I needed somebody to tell me that I wasn't wrong to be feeling what that I felt. It might not have made the path to recovery shorter, but I would have started it earlier.

I don't know if it's safe for you if I reach out. I don't want to jeopardize your safety. But know that my inbox is open, and I want you to take that first step down recovery lane, with or without me cheering you on.

If you think this post is about you, it is. If you hope that it's about you, it is. Even if you're 100% sure that I didn't write this post about you- but you recognize yourself in it- then this post is about you.

[Thovatos]

Dear Friend,

I know you'd never want to hear what I'd have to say to you now, though I feel it's a conversation someone needs to have with you. I worry about you a lot, you know? Living on the way you do; for as long as I have known you, I want nothing for the best for you because you are very dear to me and were apart of my life when no one else was. It might not be my place to say these things, but just know it comes from a place of love and not frustration.

You living with your parents has done nothing but bring your life to a halt. I know the kind of person you can be, but when no one pushes you to be who you are meant to be, you stay stagnant in your life. I watch you struggle to get out of bed and make friends, whereas you just stay home now days and sleep for most of the night and day. I miss hearing you laugh and I miss knowing you had friends outside of home you could spend time with and be happy. I hardly hear from you now, and I just feel that perhaps your parents should help you make it in life than just fixing up your pc and allowing you to live the same day over and over again for years.

I love you bunches, Friend. And I hope we can still be friends for many more years to come, I just wish you would reach out to me sometimes. You will always have friends, and we want you to know how much you mean to us and how worried we are for you living this groundhog day over and over and over again. As nice as it is to relax and recoop, standing still in life has never done anyone any good in the long run. Go, experience life and be the person I know you can be. One day, I hope I could see you with your own house and car and rest well knowing you're happy and feel fulfilled in your life. Please don't wait until it's too late. We don't have years like this forever, Friend.

A long time friend of over 5 years,
Thova~

[LittleMaple]

Dear Mr. New York,

How many years has it been? 1? 2? That's scary. I'm scared. I keep finding things that remind me of you. I rewatched Metal Family and remembered that you were the one who showed it to me. I remembered how happy you were when you talked about it, or Amphibia. I remember the fear, the guilt, I felt when I realized I'd never be able to give you a proper goodbye. I remembered listening to Sweet Dream In Sea Major in wintertime. I remembered where you live. I remembered what you told me. That whenever you talked to me, you didnt feel angry anymore. You had anger problems. But you never lashed out at me. You could be blunt sometimes, though, and you weren't the brightest. Mostly importantly, I remembered the way we loved each other. I really miss you. Some nights it eats at me until I cant breathe. Others, I dont even think about you. Tonight, I want to cry. I want to let all my feelings for you go. But I cant. I cant cry, and I'm not sure why. But I also cant let you go. I dont think I ever can. You're a part if me now, as much as I hate to admit it. We could've been so perfect, so happy. I'm sorry I messed it up so badly. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, honey. I miss you so much. I wish I could just forget you. What I need is to tell you goodbye, but I know the minute I talk to you again, i wont be able to let you go. And i hate myself for it. I wish you didnt have this effect on me. I'm sorry. God, I'm a wreck.

Always forever, Peaches

[rudeboy]

-

[theia]

to p,

you suck.

- k

[rudeboy]

I feel goofy using this thread more than once but whatevs

Dear M,

I'm sorry for abandoning you at such a vulnerable time. Truth be told, I just wanted everything to be over with, so I pretended abandoning everything would make it better. Secretly I hoped it would be like all the other times I left, where I'd come crawling back and you'd take me back even though I did it time and time again. But somehow, I just knew that time was different. I was pushed over the edge by both of you. I wish I could go back and fix the way I went about things, but I'm not upset things ended. I think we both knew we were starting to grow apart and we just became so different. It was hard for me to connect with you both and I always felt like I was overbearing. I know I'm not the same person you knew back when we first met, and you aren't either. We've both changed so much. I hope you're happier now than you were when you opened up to me and I hope you've found peace. I never should have left after you didn't answer me, I should have given you the space to process and heal. I'll always care for you and love you a lot, and I'm sorry I didn't do right by you.