How do you start a conversation when you're shy?

[Arrikanez]

I'm not, but I have friends who are - thus why I made this thread. It'd be great to get a discussion going on in here so they can boost their post-count from zero without being judged or anything. ^^

Hi, by the by! I'm Ari. ^^

[Arrikanez]

This is a bump, and also a test. Testing test. Test!

[lpsemilly]

I believe the best way to start a conversation with someone with the intention of being their friend is to compliment them. it allows for the other person in the conversation to expand on that subject, possibly bringing up other subjects you yourself can expand on (:

[Arrikanez]

That is a magnificent point.
In which case - I love your signature!

[slifer]

I think asking about their interests is a great way to start a convo? they might like something you like then BAM you got a common interest!

[•Galaxy•]

I think asking about their interests is a great way to start a convo? they might like something you like then BAM you got a common interest!

^ i totally agree!^
another good starter (if you don’t want to get personal or have nothing in common) is talking about common events! in this case, it could be talking about things on chicken smoothie (like events or common problems) or even universal constants (what you had for breakfast this morning!)

[ShadowEaritei101]

I find that asking questions is the easiest way for me to start a convo since I don’t have to do much talking.

[doglikesparky]

I'm not well-versed in making friends- that's always been something I struggled with, though I've never been able to figure out why.
I do know that people like talking about themselves! If it's hard to talk, a lot of people appreciate being given the choice to tell stories or talk about their own lives. Some people consider it selfish, but it's very normal!
You get to learn about so many interesting people that way. It's also a quick way to determine if you have something in common or not.

[okabudge]

I was a really shy kid, but I’ve really come into my own as a person and become a lot more confident as an adult. Sometimes all you really need is time, but there’s definitely ways to actively improve your people skills and overall confidence.

As others have said, a compliment will get you pretty far, as will asking questions about common interests/ universal constants. One rule of thumb is that I personally follow is to never compliment a stranger on something that they cannot change about themselves, such as their natural appearance. Instead I opt to comment on clothes/ style I find fashionable, insightful commentary (usually applicable to group projects or workplace meetings), or a skill.

Moving along, I’ve found that joining organizations allows so many more connections and interactions than you may encounter otherwise. When I was still a student in high school, I was in band, choir, and theater. Even though I was painfully shy, I fostered many friendships through these programs and picked up a handful of new skills. As a college student, I used the confidence I gained in high school to join even more extracurricular activities (fencing and dance)- I made friends that I keep up with to this day in those groups.

Oftentimes, I notice other adults feeling isolated because they think there aren’t any groups for their age group— this oftentimes isn’t the case. You may have to do a little digging, but usually local libraries will host classes and events for all age groups— including adults. If not a library, many cities have a community center that most residents don’t even know about! Should these options not be available, you could look into volunteering efforts in your area. Soup kitchens, food pantries, community gardens, and the like are a great place to start.
If organized activities or groups aren’t your cup of tea, then try frequenting the same business on a regular basis. If you return to, say, a coffee shop at the same time on the same days of the week, the baristas and maybe even the other regulars will most likely begin to recognize you. As a line cook, I can confidently say that I can recognize the majority of my regulars simply by their order. I’ve become great acquaintances and even friends with a lot of my customers just because they take the time to stop in regularly, order food, and say hello to me.

There’s probably more I could say, but for the sake of not making this reply any longer, I’ll end this here. Friends can be found in almost any situation, you just have to find a common ground and oftentimes companionship will follow.

[Ziggy Stardust]

ask them to remember a time someone tried to talk to them and just totally embarrassed themselves. they probably can't, right? there's really no surefire way to start a conversation or make friends; you're gonna act a fool or not be everyone's cup of tea from time to time, and that's A-okay. it's being able to take these things in stride that works in the long run.