TheComfortCorner | V.9

[viles]

• feeling bad idk i dont have words for it bc im dumb but im gonna try to put into it words anyway bc thats what i do
  i just idk i'm just not good in general i feel like soo inadequate and like i have no redeeming qualities whatsoever and this is like really coming to mind in like a creative sense idk i just love interacting with creative people particularly artists bc well one thats the sort of community ive been in on cs for who knows how long and two i love art and seeing what people draw and write and just create like there is so much beauty in art in any form and it just feels really magical to me and idk i want to be able to create that magical feeling for myself yk i wanna look at something ive made and think whoa this piece is so beautiful or this chair is so well crafted or just idk i want to be creative and have an outlet for that creativity and idk i think with art i know i could learn the skill of being good at drawing but i just i dont feel like i could ever have the ideas to make the sort of pieces i want to make and idk maybe it is the mentality thats holding me back but i just idk im supposed to be the weird kid the one who is intensely knowledgeable or incredibly skilled or just super creative ykyk (aka basically a ya novel neurodivergent coded protagonist) but thats just not me yk like i want to be that person but idk how much of it is like you have to work hard to become that person and how much of it is you just are that person ykyk idk i am just i want something about myself that i like and it used to be my writing bc i felt like i wrote genuinely good pieces but i just sturggle with words so much now and the thought of trying to write a story or even just like a line of dialogue makes me feel like i can never achieve what i want and that theres no point in trying because at the end of the day i cannot create anything worthwhile and idk its so stupid bc i could learn how to make stuff i could learn how to do it yk but i wont and thats part of it and idk i just i see my friends making amazing things and i just i am happy for them but i also am jealous but like idk it is also like ig it just feels like i dont belong with my friends and that we shouldnt be friends bc i am not creative like idk ik thats not like a particularly rational thought but like whatever yk idk i shouldnt be crying about this im an adult i need to have breadowns about taxes or whatever it is that adults do and okay i am trying to joke but like idk my age feels like a stopping factor for me bc like idk i feel like the window has passed for me to try new things which is stupid bc im still young but like idk when i was a kid i could do wahtever and if i wasnt good at it it was okay bc i was a kid and could learn but now its just like trying and not being good at something particularly in a creative context just feels like its not allowed like im supposed to know how to do this already bc im an adult and ive had x years to figure it out so if i havent done it by now im not going to ykyk idk its all very silly and just my brain being a piece of trash this doesnt matter bc like i still dont have a job and im not applying for stuff so like i shouldnt be crying about not being a good artist lmao i should be crying about the fact that i have to provide for myself in order to survive bc i was not involved in the decision making process of whether or not i should be born

[mcr]

every time i communicate with people i always remind myself that i'm the most selfish man ever! why do i have to be jealous over anything and everything! there's always something i'm bitter about and i wish i wasn't like this. it's a very selfish thing.

[pandaa]

oh god im crashing

[Guest]

Depression is hitting really bad again
I'm not at my lowest but i'm definitely very low.

[marciplier]

identity crisis 👍

[alleyway]

I feel like I made two mistakes but should I regret either of them, idk.

[mourning dove]

yay school lockdown! /sar

[vi‎ ‎]

my aunt recently had a check-up and was told she has about 1-2 years max left to live. she has 4th stage spinal cancer. i miss her so much, it's been so long since i've seen her, and i love her a lot. i wish there was something i could do to make the pain for her and our family go away. my mom has had chest pains since the news and she keeps crying. i don't know what to tell her when she cries and says she doesn't know what to do without her sister. i feel terrible

[huskyhiccups]

I just want everything to be okay...

[flooxii]

when will it be over..