TheComfortCorner | V.9

[arisoup]

dumb overthinking brain

[Spearow]

I did something stupid and need someone to tell me its going to be okay. qq I'm so anxious I know I'm not thinking clearly but I also can't stop feeling like something awful is going to happen

[Ziggy Zag]

I want to punch people for doing gestures and making noises. I can’t stand it when someone smiles to the side or breathes heavily while I’m trying to focus. It makes me want to snap my ankles backwards and strangle them. (I have never tried and I never will I just get upset.) And people keep trying to act like they’re quirky and relate to it like “Haha yeah I do that too! *lists other “quirky” things that they do for attention*” No you don’t. You wouldn’t care. You don’t know what I’m feeling, so stop trying to act like you’re the one in the spotlight all the time

[sirenni]

why. Why did you do it mom. The sick feeling in my gut hasent gone away. I wish I wasent just the daughter on the outside of everything, I want to help. But I cant. I still can't even process it. This whole time I put you on a pedastule but it was just a lie. You still hasent told me herself why your so sorry, I just want you to admit it.

You have feelings for my uncle, your brother in law. my uncle, my dad's brother. you tried to act upon those feelings, if Clint didn't refuse it would have happened. again why. Why put so much hurt on this family. Why with him. You couldn't think for one second what this would do to us. To dad. I've never seen him so hurt. He has every right to be.
It hurts even more that you still can't promise it won't happen again. You blame it on your urges. I hate that excuse. It doesn't even work. Everyone has urges but you still make the choice. I know you had the choice, you were the one who suggested the idea. he refused. You tell us you will try. That you will try to suppress the "urges"
I think it's the suckiest thing I have ever heard. I'm being harsh, I don't care. I just want to hear that it won't happen again. That's all I want. But no. You cant promise that. How can we trust you?
I can't trust a maybe. A promise it the least you owe us and you can't even do that.

You tried to do it with him three times three times you forgot about us. How we would feel. Your now feeling the after effect of everyone knowing and you have the nerve the apologise. You should have thought about that the second time, or maybe even the third. I can't say how hurt I am. I hate the idea of choosing people but that's exactly what you did. I feel hurt because you betrayed dad and know he has to "suck it up" for the sake of us. Those are the exact words he told me. He has to be the one cleaning up the mess you made. He had no control but yet he is the one thinking about this family. Why can't you. When's the next time your gonna come to me and tell me you made a mistake. That you would never want me to make the choices you do. That's why I can't trust you mom. Because your mistakes arnt mistakes if you keep making them. Which you have.

I dosent matter that it didn't happen. It would have if he didn't refuse. You were willing and ready. So yes, you had an affair.

The only thing I want it a promise. A promise that it won't happen again. The one thing you say you can't give. I still love you mom but why. Why did you do it.

[Soy Sauce]

I really messed up
And now i think she hates me

[flooxii]

here I am again.
I just don't feel okay.
my grades are getting worse, and I keep getting bullied. it hurts, it hurts so much.
did I do something wrong? what did I do..?

[felo]

old mistakes keep bothering me, and not in a helpful way. its just obsessing. i wish i could feel some progress being made instead, wish i could understand and forgive and forget, but its really just a replay in my head...

i need to understand what went wrong. i think i do. but maybe i need to run through it again

i need to forgive myself for the mistake, but that part feels a little hard

but at the end of the day i need to remind myself that i dont need relationships with people who hold grudges. if they want to cut me off because of a misunderstanding, if they want to cut me off without talking to me about the problem first, then theyre pretty much just not good at relationships. i am healthier than that. i communicate. i am not petty. i hate that i hurt them, but we could have worked together to solve it. they were not interested. these are the important things. the guilt is important too because it will teach me something, but after a point, it's just my ocd driving me crazy. putting the memory on replay. that's not necessary. when that happens, remember these things.

did i fail? maybe. maybe i failed to communicate effectively. but was that my fault? i question simply because, well, it's one of those things that happens. sometimes we struggle to articulate thoughts, but that's why we keep talking, to try to get to the right words. is that a fault of mine, that it happens to me too? should i be personally ashamed that an instance of this was bad enough to ruin a friendship? ...when i put it in these words, it kinda feels like, no, that's not really a big deal or a reflection of my character. just an unfortunate turn of events.

...

im not just trying to shrug off blame. but i do feel really bad about it right now and i just dont think i have to do that. its over. its been months. so maybe i simply dont need to feel that bad about a misunderstanding. yeah. idk. thats all. ocd pls just stop ;-;

[CyberneticVampire]

I don't know why I post here thinking someone is going to care. They just aren't but here I am anyway.. I feel like I'm having a panic attack and I feel sick to my stomach. What am I doing? I know I'm nothing but a burden to everyone around me. I know my mom hates me even though she won't say it. So what's the point?

[marciplier]

i know deep down my mom is a good person. somewhere so deep, deep down she never shows me. i cannot get myself to spend time with her. being alone with her feels like a ticking time bomb where one of us is going to get upset or angry no matter what. she shows more love and care to her co-workers than her daughter. is it because i cant be her? is it because you wish i was her instead? is it because im your problem daughter and you wish i died instead of her? i stay awake some nights thinking what i have done wrong to have you hate me since birth. you never paid attention to me as a child and when you did you were just screaming, making fun of me, or hitting me. you missed all the signs i had issues because you wernt there, and instead berated and screamed at me for having something wrong with me. you were sleeping the day away, or on facebook, or holed up somewhere ignoring your children. i have to live with trauma for the rest of my life because of my absent mother who was never there for me. you still arent here. i cant even talk to you without being ignored for your phone. i have never felt truly loved by you in my entire life.

maybe im selfish. but i just i had a mother who loved and cared. who actually cared, not because a therapist told her to start caring because its destroying her daughter.

[Soy Sauce]

How do i make it stop? All the words rushing through my head