Write a Letter You Cannot Send (Read the Rules!)

[chevi]

dear my baby j,

you are asleep next to me right now, and i have never loved you more than i do in this moment. this meaning, i love you more and more every second that you exist. your existence barreled into my life and shook me to my core. i would recognize your voice you footstep, your touch in this universe or any other. we talk about mortality. we cried in each others arms trying to come to terms with the fact that after this existence we will no longer exist together. theres nowhere i would want to exist without you by my side anyways. i could spend eternity with you, i could deal with million of years of whatever the universe could trow at me to exist with you for a while longer. i would turn over every rock in a destroyed world, swim through every ocean, just for our souls to be together. i however, do not tell you this out loud, instead i snap at you when you sing to loudly while i try to concentrate. instead, i take after my mother. instead i retreat into my sharp exterior most of the time. you get me a drink, and i forget to say thank you. you tell me i am beautiful and i do not respond. but sometimes, on my better days, i massage your back for hours, i am tender, i make you homemade lemonade. this is not in my nature. i am trying to learn, and i hope you understand. because when i sit here and really think about it, i probably would have left me by now. i hope you can continue to love me, despite everything and please understand that i am trying so hard to be a person you can love.

forever hoping you'll stay, j

[PinkAngel]

Dear Friend,

I am sorry I ruined your non-stainable couch. You had a similar couch as the one woman we watch together on YouTube Shorts. I was working with Stacy, the Chemistry graduate assistant and she said she did not care if I took some undiluted HCl home since she steals the plastic pipets and the discarded test tubes and occasional flasks from the hazards bin.

I thought it would be cool to try and see if it would stain your couch. It did not occur to me that HCl eats through material and does not stain it. I did push your couch to the side to make sure your hardwood floors were not damaged, they are not! So I guess that is something positive, if you can look past the scratch marks left behind from moving the couch.( I know Mahogany is not cheap) And the chemical technically did not leak all the way through. At least you received the Venmo to cover the cost to repair the floor. (I guess the floors are technically damaged? But not horribly damaged)

I have purchased you a box of your favorite cookies from the bakery we go to every year. I know it does not equal the $21k you spent since you ordered the stain proof couch custom to your size and had the couch wood hand carved to represent your cultural heritage. But I hope our years of friendship will allow you to overlook the issue.

Again, I apologize for ruining your couch, it was a lapse in judgment, I was blinded by wanting to be YT famous and was sure that it would stain the couch. In a way, it kind of did? As when it began to smoke and burn, it left dark brown discoloration around the edges of the gaping crater. But you already told me that there is no warranty for custom handmade products.

Please, forgive me and consider withdrawing the civil lawsuit. You know I do not have that kind of money, and please, reconsider the restraining order. I have not been near you since you asked me to stay away, and if you proceed with the restraining order I will not be able to attend campus on the days you are attending it. We both are in the same major, it is almost impossible to not overlap courses.

I hope the cookies and friendship will be enough. Please do not forget all the times I was there for you in the past and how I let you live with me, helped you get your visa, and helped you obtain citizenship. We are like family as you said in the past, and family are suppose to stick together.

Sincerely,
Nonexistent Story

(been a while since I made a fake writing, originally was suppose to be silly, then thought of those awful/manipulative apologies influencers sometimes do and went for that route)

[Espresso. ༺]

Past me have you considered therapy? Deleting this letter for my own good.

[FlyingFoxWink]

I can't believe I'm on Chicken Smoothie writing about you. You're stubborn, you don't communicate your needs, you purposefully worried me and said some things about me. You're jealous. I actually used to look up to you. I thought you were a great artist, I thought you were so friendly and funny. Now look at you. You talk about things I've done that made you uncomfortable when you clearly didn't communicate that with me. You made me look like a jerk. If you would have just told me, I would have stopped. Act your age! You're almost an adult. I can't believe you're best friends with an important person in my life. Everyday you make me paranoid you're going off again to her. I don't deserve you. After everything I've done, you became a big jerk to a few of us. I'm so glad I don't have to see your face.

[Espresso. ༺]

hi red lol i love you. sorry i wrote an overdramatic letter about you a long time ago, i dont think you ever saw it thankfully but im deleting it anyways!!!

[plecostomus enjoyer]

p,

i love you more than i could ever express. i wish you didnt live across the country from me. i want to hold your hands. i want to hug you. i want to give you a proper kiss, you mean everything to me. youre the first person i have wanted to give absolutely all my love, time and dedication while feeling completely happy with the choice. its so easy to love you, youre completely loveable. i love your laugh, your smile and how bright a presence you are in my life and in my heart. its so cute how embarrassed you get when i compliment you and tell you how much i love you. i hope you believe me when i tell you youre perfect, because you are.

-your beloved

[wholesomeisfine.]

to v,
why?
why did everything have to be confusing. why do you have to disguise all of your emotions with dry and depressing humor that makes everyone around you uncomfortable? you know that you don't have to hide from us. the real you is hurting, and it's ok to hurt. please, just eat a proper meal and try to realize that you're hurting others too by hurting yourself and try to be better. don't repeat the cycle. you don't have to pretend to be happy and energetic all time time, it's ok to be melancholy and sad and tranquil. please. for yourself and everyone around you.
i don't want to have to do this again.

and k,
i miss you so much. you left for chicago to come into your own as an adult, and while i'm so happy you're so happy, i miss you. you're one of the only people who doesn't want to vent your problems to me, because you're my sibling and you don't have to rely on me. i feel like a lot of people are relying on me and it's nice to have someone who deals with their shadows without my help. thank you for not pushing any of your bad moods onto me. thank you for chatting with me about whatever we want, and buying me drinks from sweetwaters and little unicorn figurines from vault of midnight. thank you for truly being interested in what i say and really wanting to hear about whatever new thing i like or even just how many hours i slept that night. i love you and i miss you so so much. i'm excited for you to come home soon <3

[rileyistired]

hi anderson
im sorry we didnt talk more
im going to miss you so much big brother
so much
i love you
come visit me in my dreams some time please

[stardustreserve]

you know, i still don’t know my own feelings about you
but sometimes i get these thoughts, and sometimes they make me feel a little giddy inside
i want to express how i feel without making it obvious
without making things like, weird.
idk
i really want to spend time with you
things are really boring without you
ugh, i know you probably don’t reciprocate the exact same feelings as me
but… even then, i know, or— i should know you love me anyway, but… i’m just kind of… i don’t know the words
i’m so confused tbh. i’ll just, probably wait it out as i ever did
i don’t… think it’d go how i’d idealize it anyway
but. you’re still a good friend. and i hope we can spend more time together. i miss calling you.

- c.

i wish you, or someone, could tell me why i’m like this
because i don’t think there’s anyone around or alive who’d know
i doubt you would, but…
idk. things are weird. i just want to get these weird thoughts out of my head
i am being consumed by delusions.

-c.

i… still don’t know how to feel about everything. a year’ll probably pass and i still won’t know.
i think you left me soft
i’m like, a hermit crab without a shell
and i don’t really know what to do with myself
it’s… not your fault. i was just so used to the loneliness back then. i didnt realize how much it could hurt.
there wasn’t much i cared about before, or many people i wanted to be around
and… now i’m back to that same spot, but…
at least before i couldn’t miss something that wasn’t there. now it has been in my life, you have given me something i never knew, and i…
am so lonely.

-c.

[yuketsu]

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