Write a Letter You Cannot Send (Read the Rules!)

[neopup]

dear a,
i hate you and everything you do. i wish i never meet you, and if i could go back to past i would never and never become friends with you. you had no right to tell things like that to them.
wish you no luck,
- j

[Soy Sauce]

I love you. Im sorry.

[Piera]

Dear B,
So I give you money to get me a new roll of wire, you return with a old, dirty, used roll and somehow IM the ass? What the hell? You said you'd get it new, I paid for new and you deliver me old and rusty? Cause 'its still good!', NO ITS NOT. I'm so close to going off, like, there's no conceivable reason why you didn't get it new, besides obviously ripping me off. 'What's wrong with this one? ' ITS OLD AND RUSTED. If I was trying to get tetanus, then sure, it's perfect 👍 but I'm not trying to get tetanus, I'm trying to fix my chicken coop. You know, like, by REPLACING THE RUSTED WIRE WITH NEW WIRE. You don't replace rotting wood with slightly less rotted wood, you get new wood! I'm not gonna drop this.

[AwayfromBirdland]

Dear sister,

I will keep loving you regardless but it sometimes gets really hard. I know you try your best and it's not on purpose but the fact that you keep disregarding my feelings no matter how often I kindly ask you to be considerate makes me sad. I spend countless hours being your emotional support & outlet and it is okay. I just wish instead of taking all the time you could give for a few minutes too...I'm feeling resentful towards you and I hate that and it's damaging our bond. I'm older so maybe it's too much to ask but sometimes I feel drained but when I tried to tell you, your response is that you feel way worse on an every day basis. It may even be true but just because I don't talk about it allllllll the time it doesn't mean I don't struggle...

[LittleSpud]

Dear K,
I hope this finds you well. I've missed you ever since you moved and I wish we could have held contact, granted I know your mom didn't want us talking because we were opposite genders. I wish I had figured out sooner what you were trying to tell me back when you were still in town. I have been heartbroken without you, one of my bestest friends, since your mom cut our contact. Luckily I meet new friends, though I lost others. I'm still friends with C after all these years, he even set out for what he always wanted to do since we were 5. I'm happy to say I have a new best friend who is like a sister to me. I have constantly been thinking about you for many years and how the last time I saw you was during a parade with you on a firetruck and me on the side lines waving at you after you shouted my name. I hope things are going well for you and that you found out how to be yourself, I'm still truly sorry I didn't understand you were coming out to me at age 10, I didn't understand the subject, but be proud to know that you are not alone (probably why we got along so well XD). Thank you for helping me and my family grow as individuals and know that we love you and wish the best wherever you are.

- Kitty (Just like old times :3)

P.S
I still remember the last drawing you gave me was the taco cat and you added the :3 on the back because I loved that ^^

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Dear _
I wish I could straight up say what I want to say to you. I want to tell you that you manipulate me, probably without knowing it, and you caused most of my panic attacks. Everything I do you say isnt good enough or sucks, it has made me into a self critic and a perfectionist. It makes me hate my own work and literal made me work myself sick many times. And I wish I could say that you calling me fat and bulling me even though I was UNDER WEIGHT, really ruined my health and now I am indeed what you said. And NO kids at school NEVER EVER bullied me for being over or under weight. AT most I got bullied for was be and I quote "Pretty" . So please dont use the excuse you get called fat and ugly at school to bully me about your self image. We are similar but not the same are childhoods were different. And yet I cant say this in person because I love you, even though it could help you fix somethings, I think it would do more harm then good in general and especially right now. Maybe one day I could say this or explain it to you but I cant right now, Im sorry. I love you <3

- Marshmallow (Your favorite nickname for me ^^)

[Oliverstorm]

itty bitty font

I'm waiting for my last chemistry class of the semester to begin in about an hour and a half. Probably less by the time I'm done writing. I'd use my journal, but it's at home, and I'm in the library just waiting around.

This year has been hard. It's taken so many unexpected twists and turns. That trend going around, if January-me could talk to me now, they'd be in for a world of shock. After all, it isn't everyday that your life gets 100% upheaved and remodeled. Although for me, I suppose that's happened at least three times now.

I look back, and I feel tired. I can't believe I used to crave excitement. The idea of curling up with A and watching a documentary with our cats is the most appealing thing I can imagine right now. The fact that it'll be a reality in less than a month is a lot, to say the least. I mean, wow. After all this time, it came back to him. It's still so new and uncertain, I don't know if it'll work out long-term, but he's always felt different to me. I was just never willing to fight for it. I desired instant gratification, which led to my ultimate destitution. I'm still learning from my mistakes. I'll always be making them. It's my nature, as a being who wants to change and better myself. Mess-ups happen. Lord knows I've done my fair shares, and I'm still so young.

I know what my next step is. I know what I must do. But am I ready to take that leap? Right now she's waiting on me, but I genuinely...don't want her in my life, in any capacity. I should have cut her out the night it happened. It's like a toxic leech, the hold I've allowed. Unintentional, perhaps, but real nonetheless. I need to cut out all of my infectious hooks, on that note. Every tie, each hold. But it's so hard to purge, because it hurts. It scars. And while I may no longer desire those 'what-ifs', as long as they are manifested in my reality, they are, for all intensive purposes of me, there.

And I must move on.

For the first time, I need to release and genuinely mean it. Not just stuff things in a box, or archive screenshots.

I'm grown. I am not who I was yesterday, five months ago, a year ago, five years ago. Well, I am, but I'm different. I know now what I didn't then, that is a responsibility I cannot shake. Stagnancy is terrifying. So is faith. But hell, if I'm jumping, it may as well be in what I hope is the right direction.

Life, guide my feet. I manifest, with all my being, the rewards I've sowed. I call upon karma to grant me not what I want, but what I need.

Amen.

(not religious context, thanks.) ^

[ruberiot]

--

[.destiny]

writing this has no real point but, i have nowhere else to really say anything. i don't think i'd be able to say any of this to you, at least not right now.

our conversation made me think over things plenty of times. it's hard to remember what happened in a six hour call when i was deep in an episode but, some things stuck with me.
it hurts to know that you're essentially scared of me. you can't reflect on anything else anymore and yet, you're scared of hearing about anything else from me specifically. you don't want to know that you've done more wrong than good and i understand why. but sometimes and some days, i envy those who were able to talk to you in full and express every detail. i envy those that you're not afraid of. i know what the difference is so, i know why you're scared. you can't stand to hear it from me because i'll still be around after the fact.
neither of us want to leave each other but, it hurts to know that you think it's the only good option for me. i don't believe that there's no resolve. i want to work towards one, even if it's not immediate. i know what you have done, i know that you have treated me in some of the cruelest ways possible. but what i don't know is how much you recognize and understand how much i "sacrificed" for you. i don't like using the word sacrifice but it's the only way i can explain it. you know that i've done a lot for you but i don't know if it goes any deeper than that. of course, i'm not asking you to name specifics and it doesn't mean you're a horrible person for not knowing said specifics. but i question your understanding of it all.

i want this friendship to last and to turn out healthy. i don't want to give up now or in the future. there are things to work towards, not just in our friendship but within ourselves. maybe if i just had better circumstances or if my mental health wasn't deteriorating, things would be better and guilt wouldn't plague our friendship so much. i don't really know and i don't think i'll ever know at this point. perhaps in the future, if things turn out to be more defined. but not right now.
i'm sorry for stressing you out, to the point where you felt the need to call my cell number. it must've been terrifying and i'm truly sorry. these past two weeks have been filled with stress and anxiety. sometimes it's hard to stick around. but the kindness i receive from people, and you especially, makes things a bit more bearable.

i hope next year isn't so bad.

[Guest]

...

i would say i miss you, but the more i look back on it, i really don't.

you were toxic. and i know i was too, hell, i can't even deny it. i was young though, and so were you. if you're stupid ass is going to pretend to be perfect then why shame everyone else who was toxic at a young age? i was still learning. i know it's no excuse, but i've grown from it.

and what have you done?

i still have your friends complaining about you. if blocking me makes you feel better, do it. but don't forget the amount of times you and h blamed me for crap i didn't even do, or threw me under the bus for things we all did.

i was 13, dude. you expect me to be perfect? idiot.

i don't miss you. i'm not angry with you. i just wish i could talk to you. cuz maybe we coulda fixed this. maybe we coulda even been friends somehow again. but youre just pathetic.

i hope you get what you deserve.

[Cieloo-x]

dear you,

life is hard, and it seems impossible to get through. I miss my grandma more than anything and i wish she would get better. i wish i can go back in time and cherish her. i wish i can find the joy in things i used to love with all my heart, like reading and gaming. i also miss you. i miss talking to you everyday, i miss our facetimes, i miss our friendship. but for the life of me, i can't bring myself to reach out. because i am so tired and right now life seems impossible. and i wish i can tell you all this, but i don't know how to anymore.