♥Crushes, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends | V6♥

[_rιyα_]

I'm losing my mind lol
so, my freshman year of highschool, I had a massive crush on this guy; I was absolutely infatuated. long story short, my friends pressured me rlly hard to date him, I ended up chickening out, and he moved across the country.
now, I'm aroace and in college, and I have absolutely nO interest in dating; tell me why I was just at brunch with a friend and I SAW HIM.
this guy moved across the country six years ago and I never saw him again, and now he's at my college??? I've never seen him here before, I'm so confused??

this whole thing is just an absolute mind trip, I'm reeling. what the heck???

[致你 ౨ৎ]

This is kind of a long story but ill try to shorten it, so this guy took me out on my first ever real date ( id hadnt ever been on an actual date before) and we started dating shortly after (note we had known each other awhile before the date). its been a bit of time since then and he promised he would drive up on my birthday (today the 22nd of October) which he ended up making plans on that day (and these plans were BUSY BUSY and he wouldn't have time to even text me) then reminded him it was my birthday to which he responded with "oh" no sorry or anything. fast forward to the next day i asked if he could see me the day after my birthday and he said it depends on homework and implied that i wasnt worth putting in the effort to finish the work early for him to see me. later he sends me a sob story about how he doesnt have the money even if he wanted to come he couldnt, as if i wouldnt drive down just to see him myself. now moving on to today, my birthday which he didnt even bother to say happy birthday until almost 5PM i really like him but this really hurt my feelings, he sees football games every other week and my birthday is only once a year, and he didnt bother to even try for me. this feels so toxic but i care so much.. am i putting in too much effort for someone who doesnt even care? what do i do?

[Soy Sauce]

This is kind of a long story but ill try to shorten it, so this guy took me out on my first ever real date ( id hadnt ever been on an actual date before) and we started dating shortly after (note we had known each other awhile before the date). its been a bit of time since then and he promised he would drive up on my birthday (today the 22nd of October) which he ended up making plans on that day (and these plans were BUSY BUSY and he wouldn't have time to even text me) then reminded him it was my birthday to which he responded with "oh" no sorry or anything. fast forward to the next day i asked if he could see me the day after my birthday and he said it depends on homework and implied that i wasnt worth putting in the effort to finish the work early for him to see me. later he sends me a sob story about how he doesnt have the money even if he wanted to come he couldnt, as if i wouldnt drive down just to see him myself. now moving on to today, my birthday which he didnt even bother to say happy birthday until almost 5PM i really like him but this really hurt my feelings, he sees football games every other week and my birthday is only once a year, and he didnt bother to even try for me. this feels so toxic but i care so much.. am i putting in too much effort for someone who doesnt even care? what do i do?

I dont think its worth putting in the effort for someone who cant do something as small as send a happy birthday text. You should be with someone who wants to put in the effort and wants to be with you. I hope all goes well!

[致你 ౨ৎ]

This is kind of a long story but ill try to shorten it, so this guy took me out on my first ever real date ( id hadnt ever been on an actual date before) and we started dating shortly after (note we had known each other awhile before the date). its been a bit of time since then and he promised he would drive up on my birthday (today the 22nd of October) which he ended up making plans on that day (and these plans were BUSY BUSY and he wouldn't have time to even text me) then reminded him it was my birthday to which he responded with "oh" no sorry or anything. fast forward to the next day i asked if he could see me the day after my birthday and he said it depends on homework and implied that i wasnt worth putting in the effort to finish the work early for him to see me. later he sends me a sob story about how he doesnt have the money even if he wanted to come he couldnt, as if i wouldnt drive down just to see him myself. now moving on to today, my birthday which he didnt even bother to say happy birthday until almost 5PM i really like him but this really hurt my feelings, he sees football games every other week and my birthday is only once a year, and he didnt bother to even try for me. this feels so toxic but i care so much.. am i putting in too much effort for someone who doesnt even care? what do i do?

I dont think its worth putting in the effort for someone who cant do something as small as send a happy birthday text. You should be with someone who wants to put in the effort and wants to be with you. I hope all goes well!

I think its just extra hard for me to let go because he was my first for a lot of things, it just feel like all of those memories are going to waste? but at the same time i feel like i can do so much better.

[Soy Sauce]

This is kind of a long story but ill try to shorten it, so this guy took me out on my first ever real date ( id hadnt ever been on an actual date before) and we started dating shortly after (note we had known each other awhile before the date). its been a bit of time since then and he promised he would drive up on my birthday (today the 22nd of October) which he ended up making plans on that day (and these plans were BUSY BUSY and he wouldn't have time to even text me) then reminded him it was my birthday to which he responded with "oh" no sorry or anything. fast forward to the next day i asked if he could see me the day after my birthday and he said it depends on homework and implied that i wasnt worth putting in the effort to finish the work early for him to see me. later he sends me a sob story about how he doesnt have the money even if he wanted to come he couldnt, as if i wouldnt drive down just to see him myself. now moving on to today, my birthday which he didnt even bother to say happy birthday until almost 5PM i really like him but this really hurt my feelings, he sees football games every other week and my birthday is only once a year, and he didnt bother to even try for me. this feels so toxic but i care so much.. am i putting in too much effort for someone who doesnt even care? what do i do?

I dont think its worth putting in the effort for someone who cant do something as small as send a happy birthday text. You should be with someone who wants to put in the effort and wants to be with you. I hope all goes well!

I think its just extra hard for me to let go because he was my first for a lot of things, it just feel like all of those memories are going to waste? but at the same time i feel like i can do so much better.

I can relate it is hard to let go of the firsts, but the memories arent going to waste. You can always remember them, even if it hurts to let go you can always put those memories in a special place to look back on. When ive had to deal with letting go of my firsts, i always look forward to the new firsts. all The firsts you can have with someone who will make you happier.

[Soy Sauce]

Ive had a lot of failed relationships. For reference i am a female by birth and i have dated a lot of men. I got into my first ”relationship” over the summer going into 7th grade, and it was the start of a sting of failure. I dated a lot of males who treated me wrong and used me. At the and of my last relationship and the beginning of last school year i told myself i was done. I had dated enough of dudes at that point i was pretty sure i didnt have a thing for men anymore. Pretty close to the beginning of the school year i met this girl, she was absolutely gorgeous and so confident and beautiful. My current friend group at the time (a bunch of toxic rats) for lack of a better word, told me not to mess with her dont get involved. I did not listen ofc and for that i am so glad. I got really close with this girl and her friends, it was the best few months of my life. Every weekend Friday through sunday we were together in her room or in her yard in the middle of the night blasting music and dinking monster. And ofc it only took like a month of knowing her before i fell which was really scary for me. 1. I had only dated dudes and i had no clue how to be with a girl. 2. How could someone as amazing and beautiful and confident as that date me? But my feeling only grew from there. About three months ago I confessed to her, and surprisingly she didnt reject me?! But now we have been dating for about three months. Its still very scary, i have no clue how to be with girls, what if im doing it wrong? What if she changes her mind and doesn’t want to be with me? And on top of all that i have a fear of love. So my question here is how do i show her how much i love her without scaring her off?

[Devilish]

Ive had a lot of failed relationships. For reference i am a female by birth and i have dated a lot of men. I got into my first ”relationship” over the summer going into 7th grade, and it was the start of a sting of failure. I dated a lot of males who treated me wrong and used me. At the and of my last relationship and the beginning of last school year i told myself i was done. I had dated enough of dudes at that point i was pretty sure i didnt have a thing for men anymore. Pretty close to the beginning of the school year i met this girl, she was absolutely gorgeous and so confident and beautiful. My current friend group at the time (a bunch of toxic rats) for lack of a better word, told me not to mess with her dont get involved. I did not listen ofc and for that i am so glad. I got really close with this girl and her friends, it was the best few months of my life. Every weekend Friday through sunday we were together in her room or in her yard in the middle of the night blasting music and dinking monster. And ofc it only took like a month of knowing her before i fell which was really scary for me. 1. I had only dated dudes and i had no clue how to be with a girl. 2. How could someone as amazing and beautiful and confident as that date me? But my feeling only grew from there. About three months ago I confessed to her, and surprisingly she didnt reject me?! But now we have been dating for about three months. Its still very scary, i have no clue how to be with girls, what if im doing it wrong? What if she changes her mind and doesn’t want to be with me? And on top of all that i have a fear of love. So my question here is how do i show her how much i love her without scaring her off?

This sounds like a beautiful, blossoming love :) Truly. When you’ve been mistreated by those you want to give your time and energy to, it can feel scary at first to not be treated that way. Don’t overthink it and don’t feel bad! It sounds like you (and her) are doing great ❤️

[Soy Sauce]

She was so many firsts for me. I love her so much, and i hate myself for how I acted. Im trying so hard to fix it, but i want her to be happy. I might need to admit that its not going to be with me.

[thecatspajamas]

She was so many firsts for me. I love her so much, and i hate myself for how I acted. Im trying so hard to fix it, but i want her to be happy. I might need to admit that its not going to be with me.

self-esteem issues can definitely be an issue when it comes to interpersonal relationships, especially of a romantic nature. i can empathize with fearing love and worrying you are inadequate for your partner, but i don't believe the solution here is to tell her that you don't think you can make her happy. the truth of the matter is that she obviously cares for you, otherwise she never would've accepted your confession! it can seem as though being self-deprecating hurts no one but yourself, but in reality, it is painful for the other person to witness someone they love constantly putting themself down. everybody has their insecurities, but it's important not to project those insecurities onto other people.

i am no therapist, but i think you should consider thinking deeply about *why* exactly you think you cannot be a good partner for her. has she told you what she's looking for in a romantic relationship? unless she tells you outright, you truly have no way of knowing if you measure up to her expectations (and if you don't, i highly doubt she would still be dating you after 3 months).

depending on the specifics of what's bugging you, it may be beneficial to talk to your partner about your worries. she may be able to ease your concerns and reassure you about anything you may be self-conscious about. communication is key in any relationship, and it's important that any potential points of conflict are brought into the open so they can be dealt with rather than ignored. you certainly aren't the only one out there whose fear of closeness manifests in the urge to run away, but if our anxieties go unchecked, we can end up hurting the people we care about.

if you want her to know how much you love her, consider telling her! it sounds like a no-brainer but i think lots of people would be surprised at how many roadblocks in relationships can be overcome by simply saying what's on your mind. tell her you love her, tell her she makes you happy, maybe even tell her she's the first girl you've been in a relationship with and it means a lot to you! it is meant to be you and her versus the problem, not you versus her. if you want her to be happy, consider that what would make her happy is being in a relationship with you! she accepted your confession after all. being vulnerable is scary, but nothing is ever solved by keeping secrets from each other. and once you get over that hurdle of vulnerability, you'll find that it maybe isn't as scary as you thought it would be :]

this was a bit scattered but i hope i got the point across lol
she seems lovely and it sounds like you two have a nice relationship. good luck out there!!

[_rιyα_]

I'm losing my mind lol
so, my freshman year of highschool...

update, apparently he IS a student here, and I'm losing my mind. thankfully I'm completely unrecognizable from highschool, but I keep seeing him literally everywhere.