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by Guest » Tue Aug 30, 2022 3:59 pm
i feel like im a psychopath.
i'm ruining relationships, especially with my mother and my brother, and i'm accusing people of things that aren't even true. my mother deserves so much better than what i give her, and it hurts. i also don't deserve any oft he things i have. im a awful person, genuinely. it feels like im losing everyone. and i deserve it.
god i'm even too tired to vent.
i'm too tired to do anything.
i wish i could go to sleep and never wake up.
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Guest
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by dynastes » Wed Aug 31, 2022 2:24 am
Right Hand Man wrote:urghhh i hate being sick especially sinus infections man
i love sleep and this is quite literally (repeatedly) waking me up around 2 hours after i fall asleep this is torture
and thats not even referring to the agony that is all my symptoms sigh
so our entire family has covid now lol.. (transparented for a certain sickness name)
dynastes - adult - he/she/itreturning from a ~year and a half long hiatus
i do not know values anymore :,)
beetle enthusiast & hobbyist keeper
very interested in beetle/beetle-themed pets!
need to contact me? send a pm!
i do not give out other links for safety
generally still inactive
i check in once a week minimum
art on the left by my buddy ru
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by bubbaberriboo » Wed Aug 31, 2022 9:38 am
just re-read something i stumbled upon by accident and now i just feel... gross. it's hard to feel like i did the right thing. i spent so long not standing up for myself, and the one time i did it made me feel awful. i had my reasons. i did it for my own mental health. but it still feels disgusting and makes me sick. even now that i know i have ptsd and now that i know it was a trauma response, i still feel guilty. i had a similar meltdown happen recently; an extreme rush of anger triggered by a ptsd related trauma response. i feel like a monster. i just get blinded by fear and anger and i lash out at people. it is awful and i don't know what to do about it. i guess i can bring it up with my therapist, but i am so scared of that part of me. it sickens me to even acknowledge that i can get that angry.
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bubbaberriboo
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by makingmerrymusic » Wed Aug 31, 2022 11:21 am
Being a teacher is hard. Being a first-year teacher in the year 2022 is harder. I don’t have the personality where I can command a room of 30 children, especially when a portion of them don’t want to be there (in an elective class- they are SUPPOSED to want to be there.) Nobody is doing well right now. I went into teaching to help. I don’t feel like I am helping anyone right now.
Hello! Nice to meet you! I have a goal to collect every pet on this website- I started fairly recently, but I’m enjoying the chance to make progress!
If you’re interested in music, music education, and especially choir, feel free to hit me up about that! I’m often quite busy, so I apologize if I’m not always super active!
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makingmerrymusic
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