⊹ — Through fated roads and chosen ventures — ⊹ ˙

[Cinnamon Heart]

⇒ Kalon #2000 entry: Firedancer77 (life) & Cinnamon Heart (death)


Directory

1. Backstory
2. Present day
2.1- Scara
2.2- Lazarus
2.3- Recent events
2.4- Moodboards
3. Extra content
4. Credits

[Cinnamon Heart]

"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us"

JRR Tolkien

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“Beetle, check this out!”
Scara grumbled wordlessly at the interruption but looked up anyways. “What is it, Lazarus?”
In front of her twin brother, Scara was surprised to see a pile of sticks beginning to smoulder. “See? I can control fire too!”
She immediately abandoned the moss she’d been examining at the base of a tree, bouncing over and laughing as she looked a bit closer. “Yeah, you’ve almost got a flame going.” She meant it to be encouraging, but when Lazarus wilted a little, like she’d criticized him, she scrambled to rectify things. “Do you have any more matches? One or two more should do the trick.”
Sure enough, there were soon flames lapping at the wood. They cheered, Scara bouncing in place as she glanced to her brother. Lazarus looked satisfied, still basking in his success, but Scara couldn’t help but consider that the fire was still tiny. It would go out quickly, and even if Lazarus felt impressed by what he’d managed to do, couldn’t she help him feel even better? Couldn’t she make the fire even bigger?
So she focused on trying to coax the flames to climb up even higher, so intent that she didn’t notice what Lazarus was doing until he said, “See, Scara? Just like you!”
Suddenly a fiery branch waved in her face, and Scara instinctively shrieked. The fire in front of her responded in kind, rushing up and flaring out as two of the nearby trees were lit ablaze. It spread quickly; everything that could catch fire near the flames did. And in the middle of it all was Scara, watching in horror as everything around her burned.

Wide-eyed, Lazarus turned to Scara for reassurance. But her eyes only mirrored his panic.
"Beetle, let's go!" he managed to sputter.
Scara didn't budge. "No..." she responded, regaining her composure. "No Lazarus, I can control this." He'd always admired her strength and determination, but it wasn't cool anymore - it was reckless.
"Beetle, you know what Swift said about fire!" Lazarus shouted, competing against the mounting roar of the flames. "Yeah, they said to never play with it!" Scara retorted, as she continued her attempts to subdue the fire.
Despite the anger in her tone, her gaze showed worry, and he couldn't help but wonder why. The sister he knew would never be afraid of getting into trouble. Was she scared because her own fire affinity was slipping out of control?
Without taking his eyes off Scara, Lazarus hurriedly backed away from the scene, the flames lapping at his paws. "I'm going to get Swift!" he yelled, before turning tail and rushing through the forest, tripping and trampling over everything in his path.
The way back home had never seemed so long.
"Swift, SWIFT!" he shrieked as he approached his older sibling, who was busy tending to the garden flowers. Swift turned around, their smile turning to shock as they set eyes upon Lazarus. Behind the charred kit, smoke could be seen billowing through the trees.
"Where's Scara?"
"She said she could control it..." sobbed Lazarus.

Swift felt their breath falter. How could they have ever let this happen?
But there wasn't any time for reflection. "Stay here, I'll come back with Scara," Swift said in their most convincing tone, before planting a kiss on Lazarus's forehead.
Then, they spread their wings, leaped into the air and flew straight towards the burning trees.
As Swift soared through the smoke, they called out to their little sister. But the smoke was so thick, and they soon found themselves coughing it back out. As Swift began flying back out of the smoke cloud, they heard Scara call back. "Over h-here!" their little sister gasped, trying her best not to get drowned out by the sound of burning trees.
Swift turned towards the sound of Scara's voice, and swooped down to grab her by the shoulders, ignoring the pain as their wings brushed through the flames.
They flew back up above the trees, and the pair savoured the fresh air.
"You're okay..." Swift whispered hoarsely. Scara was too busy coughing to respond. Although her own fire was fully extinguished, the forest roared on.
As Swift headed back towards their home, the adrenaline started to wear off. Each wing flap grew more painful than the last, and they began to hear the crackling of flames, steadily flickering across their feathers.
Nevertheless, they kept on flying, and soon spotted Lazarus sitting in the distance. He saw them too, and stood up in anticipation.
Just as he did, Swift felt their body grow heavier - their feathers were turning to cinder.
They had already failed their siblings by allowing the forest to catch fire. And now this?
Swift took a deep breath, before lifting Scara up to kiss her on the head. She seemed to be zoning out.
Then, they tossed Scara through the air, as far away from the forest as they could.
Swift watched as their sister landed on the ground unscathed. The kiss had worked, and they breathed a sigh of relief as they fell into the forest of fire.


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Sitting a safe distance away from the flames, the twins looked on in horror, tears in their eyes as the trees turned to ashes.

It wasn't my fault...
I couldn't have changed anything, it was meant to happen.

This wouldn't have happened if it weren't for me.
I'll never let anything like this happen again.

[Cinnamon Heart]

...

_Nicknames___iScara, Beetle_________Age__________24
_Gendermes___FemaleBeetle_________Orientation__iDemiromantic Pansexual
_Alignment____Lawful Neutral________Star Sign_____Gemini
_Height_______i0.68m / 2.20ft_______iOccupation__i News Anchor and Podcast Host

An introvert who excels at hiding it. Driven and ambitious, I prefer to use time efficiently rather than waste it on frivolous activity. I can get along with almost anyone at least to their face. My greatest strength is that I always have a plan and am very meticulous.
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DEEPER PERSONALITY
__Social______- keep my private life separate from almost all my relationships
__Social______- avoid direct conflict: sometimes lies are better than the truth
__Social______- content to be at home by myself and maybe a close friend or two
__Social______- flexible with the superficial interests I display to match whatever fits
__Social______- the people I'm with
__Social______- more likely to respond to texts and emails than phone calls
__Social______- want people to like me but don't want to have to interact with them
__Social______- (but do so in order to be liked)

__Interests___- a bit of a hidden geek: lots of books, games, comics, etc.
__Interests___i- everything has to have a place in the plan, so the more scripted, the better
__Interests___i- need things to have a purpose (even if it's just self-gratification)
__Interests___i- do better with the humanities than math and science, despite my best efforts
__Interests___i- lash out at my brother because he has no problem with not fitting in

__Flaws______- am not necessarily competitive, but definitely pointlessly spiteful
__Flaws______- panic when things aren't going according to plan while trying to look like I'm
__Flaws______- unaffected
__Flaws______- avoid involving myself in conflict even when it would help, because whatever
__Flaws______- happens will happen regardless
__Flaws______- reject responsibility unrelated to my career whenever possible: I won't be
__Flaws______- responsible for anything like that event ever again
__Flaws______- act recklessly at times, because if something happens to me, so be it: that
__Flaws______- must have been destiny's plan
__Flaws______- am judgmental but lie about my feelings to avoid hurting people's feelings

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I like...
I like..._gardening
I like..._my fish tanks
I like..._sunrise & sunset
I like..._hiking
I like..._hot cocoa by the fireplace
I like..._podcasts
I like..._silly & cute animal videos from YouTube

I dislike...
I dislike..._rain
I dislike..._winter
I dislike..._not having my personal space
I dislike..._spontaneousness
I dislike..._relying on others
I dislike..._the feeling that I have no agency in my life
I dislike..._my brother's music choice

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I like...___________________I am afraid of...
I like...___________________I am afraid of..._losing Lazarus
I like...___________________I am afraid of..._the dark
I like...___________________I am afraid of..._using my powers
I like...___________________I am afraid of..._rejection
I like...___________________I am afraid of..._my role in Swift's death
I like...___________________I am afraid of..._things not going according to plan
I like...___________________I am afraid of..._being relied on

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Thoughts on someone you care about:

My brother, Lazarus, means a lot to me, but I'm...not a very good sister.
He makes it look so easy, to actually live his life. He actually does what he wants to, always saying that it's the journey that matters, not the destination. I say I'm worried about him and what happens when it all crashes down but honestly? I envy him.
I hate that we're not as close as we used to be, but it's hard when he gets on my case for, as he put it, burying parts of myself down deep enough that I can't even find them. He's never understood being afraid of not fitting in because he's never had a problem with it. I try to pretend otherwise, but I'm not personable like he is. I do what I have to to make sure I'm not rejected, because I don't want to lose anyone else.
Except it's feeling like I'm losing him, and I don't know how to change that.

He's a great guy: loyal, responsible, up-front. I don't ever say it, but I'm proud of him. I just wish I felt like I was someone he could be proud of too.

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Thoughts on my powers:

People sometimes compare Lazarus and me to death and life.
I can grow flowers. When I was little, I was convinced I could even hear them whispering to me. That...doesn't happen anymore. It hasn't since the fire. Maybe I never could and that was when I stopped believing, or maybe they hold me responsible too. But flowers still bloom when I care for them, so I've kept up gardening.
I can control fire. I used to actually control it: I could light things on fire, extinguish them (when the fire wasn't too big), and sometimes even move it where I wanted. That all changed after that day in the woods. I can't extinguish a fire unless it's the size of a tiny candle flame, and I haven't even tried to light one. I can still control the flames, at least a bit, but it's a party trick at best: I'll do just enough to impress people, to hear them "ooh" and "ahh" and ensure they think I'm capable, but nothing more. I never want what happened that day to ever happen again. Sometimes, when I get overwhelmed and panicked or distressed, I swear I can smell something burning. Maybe I'm just imagining it, but I'm terrified to think that I could lose control if I was emotional enough.

[Cinnamon Heart]

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___Name: Lazarus Bell | But I go by: Lazarus
___Age: 24
___Gender: male
___Orientation: biromantic asexual

___Life's meaning: whatever I choose it to be.
____This meaning can shift at any moment.
____Currently, I feel like the main meaning is to help others.

___Alignment: chaotic good
___Demeanor: friendly (in an edgy way, apparently)
___MBTI: ESFP-A
___Star Sign: Gemini
___Height: 0.71m / 2.33ft
___Occupation: master's student in mathematics
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Theme: Soul Song: ¿A quién le importa? by Thalia - lyric translation

Personality: I see myself as a rather extroverted, social person. I love exchanging with others, and I don't just mean surface-level conversations, I enjoy deeper or more personal talk too! (: I'm a smiley person, except when someone sees me not smiling and tells me to, which is when I flash them my scary, wide-eyed smile.
I love group events, and I'm often the one organising or inviting others along. I've got to admit, it does bother me a little that others don't usually contact me first )': ... but I guess they've come to rely on me doing that.

I also like to hang out alone sometimes, just sitting there in silence, or listening to music that's "weird" (according to my sister). My friends say I'm like the edgy fake loner of our group. Bet they're just mad at how unapologetic and cool I am.

On another note, I'm a rather spontaneous, go-with-the-flow person. I don't usually follow a plan, just my desires and feelings. If I'm doing something that relies on social skills, my lack of plan tends to work out great! If not, well it still wasn't that bad!
I have to admit, I had a little trouble at the beginning of my studies, I just wasn't used to working much in school. But then my sister told me how I was totally destined for failure, and suddenly I became a top student! (In your face, Beetle!)
I don't think of myself as competitive - I want to win, and if I do, then heck yeah! But if I don't, then good for the winner!
I hope I come across as open, friendly and accepting. But if someone thinks I'm just too weird - well, that's their problem, and my friends' problem too if they witness it.

Something kinda bad happened because of me when I was a kit. I've had people say it wasn't my fault, and I get where they're coming from, but... anyway, I feel like it's my duty to help others when they're feeling lost, and prevent anyone from making particularly bad or dangerous decisions. I try not to do it in an uncool way - some people can just be a little careless, but I'll be looking out for them. c:

Strengths: social stuff, maths, tech/programming stuff, helping people (I hope).

Flaws: serial procrastinator, microwaved-food eater, kinda petty, cacti-killer (RIP), sometimes a coward.

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My Likes:

∙ writing poems
∙ doodling
∙ videogames
∙ swimming
∙ rainy days
∙ birds
∙ sunlight
∙ the dark

My Fears:

∙ fire
∙ heights
∙ Scara being
..harmed
∙ being alone
..in a forest

My Dislikes:

∙ bugs
∙ excessive heat
∙ winter
∙ fake friends
∙ forests

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Thoughts on someone I care about: my sister Scara:

Well, y'know... She can be annoying, like all sisters I guess. Loves to get on my case about my future, how I'm wasting my years, that I should choose an actual life path, all that nonsense. I thought an exact science like maths would totally be her jam, but no! It's never enough for her.
I wish she'd understand, not everyone can just follow some perfect, magical destined path like her.
Obviously, if that's what makes her happy, then good for her. But I feel like we've been drifting apart for years now, there's this disconnect, and she's definitely not helping.

Other than that though, she's still a pretty impressive kal!

Abilities: Eh, I only have two minor shadow abilities. There's this shadow coming out of my eyes - which only turns off when I close them, by the way. It can be annoying. I can also manipulate my own shadow, but it's just a visual power, I can't really do anything with it.
I wish I had a cooler affinity, like Beetle's fire or Swift's protection. I was super excited when my powers finally developed, but it turns out you can't do much with shadows. I guess it goes well with my aesthetic, though.

Me rambling about my
Physical traits: When I was a kit, I looked all cute, my hair was even, tied back and everything. But I'm not going for that look anymore.
Now that I'm an adult, I cut and style my hair by myself. I always try to make it look a little uneven, with bangs hanging over my face. I also have pierced ears, and like to wear black studded earrings.
I've actually always had these goopy bones exposed, I guess there was a point where their scariness started overshadowing my cuteness? I've always had mushrooms and dead snapdragons too, and this might seem weird but - they grew over time. Even the dead plants. Yeah.
I wish it gave me some kind of plant or fungus power, like noticing in advance when plants were dying or fungus was growing, but I know from experience that it doesn't. ((:

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' '

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Wander

Step by step
Forge your own path
Those chains were never meant to last
Just keep going,
because you can
I'm sure you'll get used to
the weight of the past
As it follows you along your way,
eternal stalker.

Your future clear
as any other decision
Go ahead, laugh in the face of destiny
Because this is up to you
Trek through the forest, over mountains, across plains
Backtrack if you wish. Take a break, change directions.
As long as it gets you where you want.
Where you're meant to be.

And when night falls around you,
never forget
Be a guiding light to all the stray souls
who lost themselves in the abyss.
Meaninglessness.
And you long for a trail to follow,
but where did that lead you before?
You cannot let fate drag you away.

For life's only meaning is the one you give it.
And I shall make mine the most meaningful of all.


pen and paper pixel by UszatyArbuz

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[Cinnamon Heart]

What a shame, neither of us will ever be able to unpick the mistakes we made.


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Scarlet should’ve reached out to Lazarus. She knew she should’ve, but she didn’t. Maybe if enough time had gone by of her wanting to see him again but not getting to, she would’ve done it herself, but before it reached that point, Lazarus texted her asking to meet up and catch up.

And suddenly all of the reasons she dreaded seeing him came rushing back, and she almost did something worse than saying no – she almost didn’t answer at all. Because saying no, even with an excuse, would be directly hurting her brother’s feelings, and even though ignoring his request would’ve done that too, it felt easier to deny her culpability if she did it that way.

Instead she said yes and suggested they meet up at the cafe her friend Wilhelmina had been nagging her to try.

Even though she knew Lazarus would probably run a few minutes late, Scara still got there early. She didn’t think she could handle being the one that walked into the situation; she wanted to be familiar with the place, even if only to help her pretend that she was at ease. Unfortunately, that wasn’t really working. She was sitting at the table and drinking an overly complicated frappuccino that Wihelmina had recommended she order, but the drink was mediocre (which was being gracious) and the baristas seemed annoyed they had to serve her (not that she’d say either of those things to Wilhelmina, who heavily endorsed the spot because she loved it) and Scara couldn’t bring herself to do anything but stare at the door and wait for Lazarus to arrive. Each time the bell rang to signal someone entering, even though she could make out vague appearances before it did and guess that it wasn’t her brother, she felt like she had a mini heart attack.

When he did finally walk through the door, she took a long sip of her drink and stared out the window, like she could pretend she hadn’t been sitting there anxiously stewing. It was only when he reached the table that she finally greeted him, nodding her head and offering a quiet, “Hey, Lazarus.”

“Hey, Beetle.” He smiled as he sat down across from her. He was wearing a shirt for one of the bands he liked: she still didn’t understand why he liked them so much, but she resisted commenting on it and starting this meeting off on the same wrong paw that she had for their last one. “Any recommendations?”

Scara shrugged, taking a sip of her drink. “This one probably isn’t your style.”

If he saw the distaste flash on her face at the flavor, he didn’t comment on it.

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[Cinnamon Heart]

This is who I am now

[Cinnamon Heart]

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[Cinnamon Heart]

⸜ ❤︎ ⸝‍

Credits


Art :

profile crafts - Cinnamon Heart

RedBlue separation - Cinnamon Heart

Scara sleeping - Cinnamon Heart
Scara bust - ATTACK_DOG
Scara pagedoll - Shibi

Lazarus bust - ATTACK_DOG
Lazarus headshot - Shibi


Photos :

moodboard images - Unsplash
moodboards - Cinnamon Heart


Writing :

Backstory: Scara's perspective - Firedancer77
Backstory: Lazarus and Swift's perspectives - Cinnamon Heart
Scara profile - Firedancer77
Lazarus profile - Cinnamon Heart
Present day interaction - Firedancer77


Decorative :

black-and-white pixel
"Lazarus" font
mushroom divider
pen and paper pixel | permission to use
butterfly pixel


Note: Scara and Lazarus's late sibling Swift isn't a kalon.