New Rule: DNI (Do Not Interact) Lists are Banned

[ranuncudahlia]

honestly if being anti-neopronouns and xenogenders would get people banned id eat my shoe. its not a protected class and is such a controversial topic that I can pretty much guarantee it could never be enforced, the only way to even try to it through personal dnis. I don't expect the rule to be changed its just going to effect the way myself and probably lots of people interact on the site

Absolutely they will. Anti- content is not allowed, including being anti-neopronouns. Report them and staff will handle it. They shouldn't be having conversations on CS in the first place where they express dislike/hate for it. It may not be a protected class in the real world, but it's a protective class on CS.

[stormy tom]

On top of that, DNI lists act as a way to shirk responsibility for your own squicks and triggers, especially those which are common to encounter on the Internet, so I’m grateful to see them gone from ChickenSmoothie.

This right here.

[TheMamba]

Stupid question maybe, but what exactly is a DNI list? :0

[ophanimera]

Stupid question maybe, but what exactly is a DNI list? :0

It is a list of things that annoy, anger, squick/disgust, scare or are a phobia of, or trigger an individual. This list is of things an individual wants to avoid but not of their own volition, rather they tell others “do not interact with me if you enjoy, consume, or like any of these things”. Common list items are specific television shows or other pieces of media, phobia-inducing things, graphic content and/or themes which would otherwise violate ChickenSmoothie rules, and more.

[Bip]

I do wanna say one thing here- it really is your responsibility as an internet user to check if people are transphobic or otherwise bigoted in any manner before you interact with them, if possible. If someone holds discriminatory views it's extremely unlikely that they're just going to come out and say "I'm homophobic!" if they're not one of the loud majorities- especially on CS where you aren't allowed to discuss those things.
as the mods have said, the DNI lists really don't do anything unless someone cares enough to check them, and the kind of people who wouldn't respect your identity, are not going to go out of their way to check them. Heck, I DO check every DNI list I can but a lot of the time I just don't see them due to them being in a small font or a color I have trouble seeing.

and most of the time, you just don't know what someone believes until after you talk to them. that's just what human interaction is. in a perfect world there would be no disrespectful and bigoted people, but unfortunately they exist. And a lot of the time you don't know who they are until you interact with them- though thankfully on CS, I haven't seen any unpleasant people like that in years due to the crackdown on bullying behavior since the last time I was super active.

at the end of the day, you are responsible for your own experience on the internet. people just don't have the same etiquette online as they do in real life, and it is your job to decide which people you do and do not want to see around the forums; blocking being the best way to do that. If it's a specific topic, then get a browser extension that removes the words and/or phrases from your pages. you can say that it's too tedious to block everyone, but there aren't that many options outside of that. personally I've found that it does enough to just make my LGBT-ness evident in my signature so people who aren't ok with that just don't bother to talk to me, or at least make it known that they disagree with it. out of sight, out of mind i guess.

edit; as an added note, I also wanna say that in a lot of carrds where people put a DNI, the coding is straight up inaccessible sometimes. bright neon colors, flashing colors, extremely pastel colors on white backgrounds, etc. there have been so many times where i've gone to read a DNI that I literally *cannot* read because the formatting is straight up dangerous. you should not be linking web formats that could potentially trigger a seizure or migraine.

[PikaPerfect]

absolutely love this new rule, thank you so much, mods! as someone with anxiety, and a small handful of trauma triggers, i can safely say that i understand the intent behind having DNI lists, but they always came off as selfish to me. you can't expect the world to cater to you, and you alone, and all DNI's do are either a.) make you a target (although i will say that this doesn't seem to be much of a problem on CS, the users here are typically pretty friendly), or b.) make you seem unapproachable (if one of the first things someone tells me when i meet them is "hi! here's a list of people i don't like and don't want to talk to :)", i'm not gonna be particularly interested in talking to them whether i fall on that list or not.). on top of this, a lot of times DNI lists end up dismissing well-meaning people who just happen to fall on that list due to a stereotype regarding said group. i understand not wanting to interact with certain fandoms, hell, there are a handful of fandoms i'd rather not interact with myself, but like i said, i don't want to immediately dismiss everyone in those fandoms because they could be cool people outside of that, or not fall into the less palatable side of the fandom.

the entire concept of a DNI really just boils down to expecting everyone else to change their behavior for you specifically, and that's assuming they even bother to read the DNI (spoiler: most people don't.) in the end and in my own experience, the best way to deal with the situation is to, as many people have already said, block and report (or, assuming it's nothing rulebreaking, just block) as needed. sure, you won't know anything about the people interacting with you, but the easiest way to deal with that is to assume they're well-meaning until given reason to believe otherwise. of course, that doesn't work on all websites, but with how heavily moderated CS is, and with how gentle and accepting the community is, i can guarantee you that 90% of the users you ever interact with are going to mean well. and if they don't? block.

every side in this argument is bringing up good points both for and against DNI's. i think ultimately DNI's can be useful, but on a website like CS, all they end up doing is making you seem arrogant and like the website needs extra rules just for you, when in reality, most triggering content is already banned. if you really don't want to see certain things, just block the offending users as they come, y'know? and remember what i said earlier on, most people will not read your DNI. i can safely say i rarely read people's signatures in general, let alone if they have a lot of text. and if the DNI is on a separate link altogether? absolutely not. DNI's being removed is really not going to change much if nobody was looking at the DNI's in the first place.

okay, mini rant over lmao

[rileypillow]

After reading some of the responses, I can definitely see why they should be banned.

I have seen discriminatory DNI lists before, including on CS, so it’s great to see these banned. Unfortunately I cleared my history after seeing it so I couldn’t report it.

They could possibly cause arguments, as a DNI list can’t stop every interaction with users people don’t want to see.

On Toyhouse (I know this is a very different environment to CS) a user posted a list of trigger warnings, each one with a graphic, potentially triggering cartoon, when none of this was actually on their profile. While this kind of content wouldn’t be allowed on CS, it demonstrates why DNI lists should be banned. I’ve seen milder versions of this on CS, so it’s great that this has now been banned :)

Although they can protect people from triggering content, I don’t have a lot of time to read them, they increase my anxiety, and can contain potential triggers and unwanted content. I’ve seen huge DNI lists several pages long, and honestly, nobody’s going to read it. A lot of other users have mentioned this too.

They can protect the user themself from potential bullying.

By removing DNI lists, CS can become a safer, less toxic environment. DNI lists feel to exclusionary and everyone should feel included, regardless of whether they like a certain fandom, hoarding pets, or anything else. <3

Although I am mostly against them now, I want to bring up this:

DNI lists are rarely used in this way. They are put by the user to protect themselves and others from harmful or triggering content, not to advertise content or discriminate.

DNI lists can have an important purpose, so maybe if other, less exclusionary things were encouraged (e.g. I don't like x so please don't mention x when interacting rather than don't interact if you like x)?

[Aaron✦]

I've again had to remove a bunch of posts being outright disrespectful to people who use or have used DNI lists. Once again, this thread is not an open invitation to be rude to other players. Please remain respectful to everyone in your posts.

[Strange_Atoms]

absolutely love this new rule, thank you so much, mods! as someone with anxiety, and a small handful of trauma triggers, i can safely say that i understand the intent behind having DNI lists, but they always came off as selfish to me. you can't expect the world to cater to you, and you alone, and all DNI's do are either a.) make you a target (although i will say that this doesn't seem to be much of a problem on CS, the users here are typically pretty friendly), or b.) make you seem unapproachable (if one of the first things someone tells me when i meet them is "hi! here's a list of people i don't like and don't want to talk to ", i'm not gonna be particularly interested in talking to them whether i fall on that list or not.). on top of this, a lot of times DNI lists end up dismissing well-meaning people who just happen to fall on that list due to a stereotype regarding said group. i understand not wanting to interact with certain fandoms, hell, there are a handful of fandoms i'd rather not interact with myself, but like i said, i don't want to immediately dismiss everyone in those fandoms because they could be cool people outside of that, or not fall into the less palatable side of the fandom.

the entire concept of a DNI really just boils down to expecting everyone else to change their behavior for you specifically, and that's assuming they even bother to read the DNI (spoiler: most people don't.) in the end and in my own experience, the best way to deal with the situation is to, as many people have already said, block and report (or, assuming it's nothing rulebreaking, just block) as needed. sure, you won't know anything about the people interacting with you, but the easiest way to deal with that is to assume they're well-meaning until given reason to believe otherwise. of course, that doesn't work on all websites, but with how heavily moderated CS is, and with how gentle and accepting the community is, i can guarantee you that 90% of the users you ever interact with are going to mean well. and if they don't? block.

every side in this argument is bringing up good points both for and against DNI's. i think ultimately DNI's can be useful, but on a website like CS, all they end up doing is making you seem arrogant and like the website needs extra rules just for you, when in reality, most triggering content is already banned. if you really don't want to see certain things, just block the offending users as they come, y'know? and remember what i said earlier on, most people will not read your DNI. i can safely say i rarely read people's signatures in general, let alone if they have a lot of text. and if the DNI is on a separate link altogether? absolutely not. DNI's being removed is really not going to change much if nobody was looking at the DNI's in the first place.

okay, mini rant over lmao

Agree! This pretty much sums up all my thoughts on this. Thank you mods! 😊

[Bluekittyhorse]

I'm honestly pretty happy this rule was made. While I kind of understand wanting a DNI list, I personally think they cause more problems than they're worth having, especially since I've encountered many with more fandom/interest based things on them. Just because I like an interest on a DNI list doesn't mean it'll come up/that I'll talk to you about it, unless you bring it up or set yourself up in casual conversation for the risk of it coming up. For example, I like X book, someone I'm talking to has people who like X book in their DNI list, they ask me if I've read any good books recently/what are my favorite books, I list X book as an answer. I gave an honest answer to a question they asked, and normally I don't even see people's DNI lists. Most of my conversations are about Commissions, Customs, Adopts, etc., so it's weird to bring up random small talk questions like that, and what do I do if said person contacts me first? "Oh, I'm sorry sir/mam, you're not allowed to buy this $100 character from me cause I'm on your DNI list." I'm not even the one with the problem in that case, and I'm losing out on money (the most I've ever sold a character for is $20 and some online currency, but still-). This also works the other way around, someone loses $100 cause I like a specific interest and therefore am not allowed to buy from them.

Also, what if something on a DNI list is too broad/widespread that it's impossible to enforce? I have trauma stemming from the catholic church I went to when I was younger that has left me needing therapy. Trying to put that on a DNI list will be impossible to enforce, cause there are a lot of catholic people. I'm going to encounter them constantly, and just because one small group of people messed me up who just happened to share a common religion, doesn't mean everyone who's catholic has hurt me and is going to hurt me/will hurt me.