New Rule: DNI (Do Not Interact) Lists are Banned

[Snaa-zzy]

I kinda agree to the new rule. dni list are abit pointless. If a user is part/supports that triggering topic, and interacts with you any way, just block them and move on. But I may need to ask, if someone post that they dni with hoarders, spider collectors, etc, would that be considered a reportable defense? Also can anyone help me correctly state that bright colors need to be dimmed down when interacting with me or don't interact at all? I've seen alot of bright colored profiles, art, and gifs that make me get small seizures (literally)

[mariage sorcière]

As someone that does read and follow DNIs, I can't say that they are actually preventing much.

If User A has a DNI that says "DNI if you like apples", and I like apples, then I would be sure not to offer to trade with them. But if they offered me a trade, not knowing that I like apples, and I, without reading their DNI, since we are already interacting, simply discussed their trade with them, we would only have a short exchange that would mainly be related to Chicken Smoothie itself.

And, if I came across User A in a forum, and I read their DNI, I wouldn't talk to them specifically. But if there were other people in the forum, I might still want to participate in the discussion, which could lead to User A interacting with me anyway.

A lot of DNI lists exist on sites like Instagram, Twitter, and Tumblr, where people have personal pages on which they post content, and they don't want people that post and boost specific types of content(/opinions) to interact with them. But CS is a forum site. A DNI list isn't as needed, because User A doesn't have to worry that if they follow User B, or let User B follow them, User B will start posting pictures of apples, or might comment about apples under their posts.

In addition, even though I might read DNI lists, it's not reasonable to expect everyone to read them, because, again - this is a forum site. People aren't always specifically following or interacting with individuals, but are often talking in public spaces. They likely don't want to have to go through the profiles and information of many people when they go to talk in a forum, just to avoid violating someone's DNI. When it comes to trading as well, people are often only interacting for a short period of time over something that isn't related to their interests or beliefs at all.

Another thing is what the mods brought up: that DNI lists make modding more difficult for them and more work, not in the least because DNI lists can in themselves be triggering, upsetting, or, in general, inappropriate for some users to read. Users here have also expressed that simply reading DNI lists can be harmful to them. If, in order for User A to feel safe, they have a DNI list that causes harm to other users, and that some users simply won't read, why is a DNI list so important to them, over the safety of others?

And in addition, as I said, there are people who won't read DNI lists. If someone violates this DNI unknowingly, and are reported, should they be punished? Does that mean that people must be required to read DNI lists? That's a rule that I think would cause people trouble, not only because it would make many interactions more taxing, time-consuming, and difficult for people, but also because if they are someone who might be triggered or disturbed by a DNI list, then it is especially worrying. And then, the mods would likely want to curate people's DNI lists, which would make even more work for them.

By banning DNI lists, in my opinion, mods are removing an unnecessary and complicated workload and protecting users, because they simply don't work for CS.

[Paintra]

Hi, I have a question that may or may not be tangentially related to this rule- is it permitted to put on your profile "please do not send me messages about x?" (assuming x is a thing permitted to be talked about on CS, like trading a certain pet, or things like that) I have never had a DNI and I think I may be struggling slightly to understand exactly what this rule is disallowing, apologies if this doesn't make sense.

Sorry if this is disallowed, but bumping this since it's fallen somewhat far back, I think someone also had a question about hoards? Or people not trading to hoards.

[sunburst333]

{agreed. Also, if it's something that personal and important, I would expect it to be brought up in casual conversation. "I use x pronouns" is something you're going to say early on. It's not like political views that you only get into if you seek out that topic on purpose. And if someone ends up disagreeing with you on something like that, if it's that severe, you can block them. You don't need to explain or even have an absolutely perfect reason to block someone.}
{I'm friends and mutuals with many people [this is specifically my Instagram] that don't have the same opinions as me, or like fandoms I don't. So I simply scroll past any content they share that I'm not interested in, and I don't engage with them over topics we don't agree on. I talk to them about what we do have in common. It really isn't that difficult. You're going to spend your entire life having to exist around people who don't agree with you on every little thing. That makes it all the more important to learn now how to get along with them or not interact with them at all if needed. You are in charge of your own experiences here.}
{Also agreeing with Natasha. It honestly strikes me as both weird and selfish that you a) are okay with typing out and looking at your own triggers on your DNI list and b) don't believe that you are harming others around you with the same triggers who have to see it if they look at your DNI. I don't think it's okay that people expect everyone to respect their problems when they take no action to do the same thing for others. Removing DNI lists is the easiest way to remove all these issues.}

.Holli.

it doesn't always come up in conversation though, my using xenogenders and neos doesn't tend to come up. ever, I don't talk about it, but if I find out later down the line that someone I consider a friend hates them then that's hurtful? I know the rule won't be changed now I just think that certain dnis should be okay, not triggering ones but being able to say anti-mogai dni or transsmedicalists dni for example makes a lot of peoples internet experiences much safer and less anxiety inducing (pls ignore how I messed up quoting it my laptops useless)

[BALTIR]

Personally, I agree with this rule. While everyone is expected to show respect to others, strangers on the internet are not responsible for your triggers. The block button is there for the specific purpose of preventing people you deem harmful to your mental and emotional wellbeing from interacting with you or your content.

agreed, I think people, especially recently this generation, has become way too comfortable on the internet listing everything that triggers them, things that others could potentially use to their malevolent intentions. I think because a lot of the people disagreeing with it are young, they don’t realize the intensity of the situation that dni lists create. Blaming mods of CS is not going to help things get better, we should focus on building a better tight nit community to weed out these people who cause trouble, as-well as trying not to take things seriously on the internet, and blocking.

You cannot expect everything to be censored for the sake of you not seeing something you may not like. If seeing a fandom is going to give you a breakdown, sincerely, I think it’s better if those people seek help, as this behavior is surely not healthy at all. Again, considering that a lot of the age demographic is around 12-16.

If you have to block almost everything on the site to not see something potentially attack inducing, that is not healthy as-well. In my own opinion, why trigger yourself like this? Wouldn’t the best thing to be to stop playing? Unfortunately if it has to come to that, it seems like the best option to not hurt yourself further, and to heal. But Idk why people insist on further hurting themselves like this.

I hope this doesn’t get taken as an offense, I am merely bringing forth my own idea on this topic, and I understand why others may disagree.

[Michael's Fan.]

ok if i blocked every single person with ANYTHING on their profile that even slightly triggers my DID, id have at least half the site blocked. thats not practical.

If nearly half the site triggers you, and you block half the site, at that point why even browse CS?
I'm just not understanding.

I mean, most people agree that certain things are triggering(such as things that cs doesn't want mentioned or discussed), but there comes to a point to where triggers are a personal responsibility.
That's like, if the color red is triggering, then how is that the responsibility of everyone who has red in their profile? It's not. In my opinion, either block everyone who has triggering things in their profile, or just don't use a site that has so much triggers in it.

[Michael's Fan.]

ok if i blocked every single person with ANYTHING on their profile that even slightly triggers my DID, id have at least half the site blocked. thats not practical.

If nearly half the site triggers you, and you block half the site, at that point why even browse CS?
I'm just not understanding.

I mean, most people agree that certain thing are triggering, but there comes to a point to where triggers are a personal responsibility.
That's like, if the color red is triggering, then how is that the responsibility of everyone who has red in their profile? It's not. In my opinion, either block everyone who has triggering things in their profile, or just don't use a site that has so much triggers in it.

what ever happened to cs being a child friendly and safe site then?

It is. And if there is something that inherently goes against their rules, then it is to be reported. CS is the safest site I can say I've ever been on.
I have my triggers, too. And they are common things, that don't go against the rules. But I realize that not everyone on the planet is going to stop saying/doing/putting on their profile those things just for me. It's impossible.

[Ariete]

ok if i blocked every single person with ANYTHING on their profile that even slightly triggers my DID, id have at least half the site blocked. thats not practical.

If nearly half the site triggers you, and you block half the site, at that point why even browse CS?
I'm just not understanding.

I mean, most people agree that certain thing are triggering, but there comes to a point to where triggers are a personal responsibility.
That's like, if the color red is triggering, then how is that the responsibility of everyone who has red in their profile? It's not. In my opinion, either block everyone who has triggering things in their profile, or just don't use a site that has so much triggers in it.

what ever happened to cs being a child friendly and safe site then?

It is child safe in the sense that absolutely anything you wouldn't feel comfortable talking about in front of a minor isn't allowed to be discussed. Anything else is personal discretion and can't be moderated through everyone's individual preferences. That's just not practical, nor would it be safe for children to have to fully disclose everything going on in their lives that bothers them.

[[dys]functional]

"people need to realize that this rule isn't an attack or any sort of statement on DNIs as a whole-"
-
"another thing to bring up is the safety of younger members. a lot of these lists go on to mention violent, explicit, or morally reprehensible groups that are inappropriate to bring up on a website with many younger users. we already have rules against bringing up these subjects on the forum-"
-
"carrd culture has encouraged people to share way too much personal information; it is not safe!!! -introductions about yourself that include very personal parts of your identity, mental health, political beliefs, etc. -people are unfortunately malicious, even if you dont know that at first, and will use these things against you. tell these things to people you know & trust, don't make it publicly accessible. it may be hard to understand with how normalized this stuff is nowadays, but it's just not safe. be smart on the internet folks, and don't put every detail about yourself onto a carrd. this ALSO includes triggers. don't tell strangers your triggers. tell them to people you know youre going to be interacting with ahead of time. strangers can and will use that personal info against you."

Did some snips because I believe eto's explanation and reasoning is really well worded! I feel some parts in particular should be pointed out here, especially with the ongoing conversation.

honestly, I think the entirety of what eto has said here is worth a read. But for the sake summarizing points, I've bolded and italicized some things in particular

[~BrokenEcho~]

Personally, I agree with this rule. While everyone is expected to show respect to others, strangers on the internet are not responsible for your triggers. The block button is there for the specific purpose of preventing people you deem harmful to your mental and emotional wellbeing from interacting with you or your content.

agreed, I think people, especially recently this generation, has become way too comfortable on the internet listing everything that triggers them, things that others could potentially use to their malevolent intentions. I think because a lot of the people disagreeing with it are young, they don’t realize the intensity of the situation that dni lists create. Blaming mods of CS is not going to help things get better, we should focus on building a better tight nit community to weed out these people who cause trouble, as-well as trying not to take things seriously on the internet, and blocking.

You cannot expect everything to be censored for the sake of you not seeing something you may not like. If seeing a fandom is going to give you a breakdown, sincerely, I think it’s better if those people seek help, as this behavior is surely not healthy at all. Again, considering that a lot of the age demographic is around 12-16.

If you have to block almost everything on the site to not see something potentially attack inducing, that is not healthy as-well. In my own opinion, why trigger yourself like this? Wouldn’t the best thing to be to stop playing? Unfortunately if it has to come to that, it seems like the best option to not hurt yourself further, and to heal. But Idk why people insist on further hurting themselves like this.

I hope this doesn’t get taken as an offense, I am merely bringing forth my own idea on this topic, and I understand why others may disagree.

I definitely think that it is the younger players that are having issues with this rule. Seeking help is definitely the right course of action especially if your triggers are severe enough that you cannot participate in a certain game or website. I am someone who has a lot of weirdly specific triggers, I have learned how to avoid those topics or, if they're unavoidable, learning how to cope with the feelings. (ie. blocking them, reporting rulebreaking content etc.)