New Rule: DNI (Do Not Interact) Lists are Banned

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Re:

Postby Mouse 13 » Sat Jan 15, 2022 8:33 pm

zerocalories wrote:
    i am aware why it is being brought up, i've quietly been reading this thread the whole time, and i'm only bringing this up because the conversation is starting to go into a topic that is only tangentially related to the topic of the thread.

    i don't know what the purpose of your passive-aggressive edit is, if it's directed at me, i never said i disagreed with your points (or anyone else's for that matter).


Oh, no my edit was just for clarity! I wasn't sure if my post and stance on the issue would be understood. It wasn't at you sorry ^^
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Re: New Rule: DNI (Do Not Interact) Lists are Banned

Postby Goku-san » Sat Jan 15, 2022 8:59 pm

As with @Mouse 13 said. It feels like there's an expectation that the CS staff and users have to be responsible for other people's mental health with the argument against the rule change which is why the sources of help are being brought up. We're not trained and certified to deal with this. Even well meaning people who try to help directly rather than referring them to these sources that have people who are trained and certified for this purpose can cause more harm than good and can get in trouble for it (including legal trouble!).

The CS staff is doing their best to make sure people are safe on the site. Please give them respect and not be rude to them even if you disagree with a rule change.

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Re: New Rule: DNI (Do Not Interact) Lists are Banned

Postby Aaronโœฆ » Sat Jan 15, 2022 9:20 pm

CS is not a replacement for professional help where professional help is needed. We understand that that is not always easy or even possible, but plenty of resources have been supplied on this thread. I don't think we need any further discussion on this matter, so please try to keep posts relevant directly to the new rule.

Additionally, I am seeing a lot of posts being disrespectful or downright rude to those with trauma. That is not the purpose of this rule and not a welcome attitude on CS.


miosha wrote:i'm still confused how this is suddenly an issue. i've had it up for AGES and never had anything wrong happen, apparently until now when i had to take it down.

As explained in the first post, this is not suddenly a new issue. We have been facing problems moderating DNI lists for months. We cannot feasibly continue moderating them as the situation was, which is why a new rule has been made.

Jessica Rabbit wrote:
I feel like this whole conversation of "Block and be done!" is a little contradictory. The whole point is to not have someone interact in the first place. It is necessary sometimes, but just blocking everyone who falls under someone's discomforts is easier said than done.

DNIs seem stupid to some, and useful to others. They don't work for some; and they work wonders for others. That's the internet. No one is going to agree unanimously to any one topic. The point is that you can decide if you want to participate in something or not.

Rules on CS are already tight. Especially since the offsite rule, which was in good intent, it's been hard to interact in any CS community without being kicked for something small. People redo their profiles both on-site and off, it gets difficult to include any important basic info about yourself here or off-site (Discord is the main example that comes to mind), and this rule is only going to make that harder.

People are going to be harassed with or without a DNI list. People are going to dislike you and/or your interests, whether you list what makes you uncomfortable or not. At the end of the day, you're targeted by someone (usually, not always) who has opposing beliefs. If you have a certain character as your profile picture, someone could easily make fun of you for being in that fandom. It doesn't take a list for bullies to bully you.

Just because someone doesn't care about someone's DNI list doesn't mean people should erase them. That shouldn't be a deciding factor in the argument. If someone ignores a DNI and the person finds out, they need to block and move on, not take out their list as a whole that could very well be a useful tool for them.

Whether you understand or not, some people simply have triggers and discomforts that they cannot work around right now. I myself have a few due to mental health issues and trauma; therapy is not something you can put a timer on, and not everyone gets the privilege of getting help. A lot of people, especially kids, seek comfort online when this is the case. It isn't the safest, but it's all some people have, especially in the age of COVID. If someone wants to have a list, why does it matter? Most DNI lists are there to prevent breakdowns, extreme discomfort, etc. in a space people deem safe. It doesn't make sense to bring up the "real world" argument, because for many it's simply a way of keeping a safe space safe. Chicken Smoothie is pushed as a safe, family friendly site filled with artists, cute pets, and a kind community. People want to feel safe in a time where safety is not easy to find for all. I don't see why we can't just keep things the way they were; I genuinely cannot see how this is going to change anything except for the comfort of those who thought DNI lists were annoying to see.

I'm sorry if my tone seemed off in any of this, it's hard for me to emit tone over text. Of course we'll have to respect the rule as long as it's in place; I really just don't think it will change anything.


The fact of the matter is that in our moderating experience, having a DNI does not necessarily prevent anyone from interacting with you in the first place.

The reason for the rule is less about whether or not DNI lists work. The reason is that when they don't work, it puts users directly in danger. Yes, there will continue to be cases of harassment even without this rule, which will be dealt with - that being said, these lists are directly putting the safety of users in jeopardy. It would be irresponsible to allow that to go on.

As I mentioned in my above reply, we cannot simply allow things to go on as they are because the situation has become unsafe. Most users may not see that going on, but that doesn't mean it isn't happening behind the scenes. As Simon mentioned, these rules do not come out of thin air - they are a result of moderating scenarios where it is clear that they have made people unsafe.
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Re: New Rule: DNI (Do Not Interact) Lists are Banned

Postby mimitina » Sat Jan 15, 2022 9:38 pm

And what if I unintentionally send a trade with a bunch of spiders? Now I am scared of sending such trades
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Re: New Rule: DNI (Do Not Interact) Lists are Banned

Postby Jijing » Sat Jan 15, 2022 9:39 pm

sauce. wrote:@Poodlette majority of the options you listed are not good. hotlines will put you on hold, and cheap/free therapists... well, you get what you pay for. charity organizations? maybe, i have no personal experience with those. school counselors and the like usually don't understand, from my experience at least. and what about homeschooled children? i've met quite a few of them on cs, it's not like they have access to school counselors. also i'd like to mention that getting help isn't as easy as you say it is. it's a long process, you have to build up courage.


i feel like a DNI list can be used as a boundary. this rule was apparently implemented to protect the younger players, but what if it's doing more harm than good?

people get harassed for their DNI lists, and people also get harassed for their interests. Should we ban talking about that, too? What's the difference? /gq

Reaching out for help is step one in treatment. It's scary but neccessary. I am speaking as an adult who has suffered with depression and anxiety nearly my whole life. I know what I am talking about and I have lived through this before. You have to reach out. You can't expect somebody to do it for you. That's just how it is.

A majority of my options are not good in your opinion but that doesn't mean they don't/haven't worked for others. Have you tried all of these options? I have had tremendous help from my school counselors and even have a therapist at my college. These are the resources you have available if nothing else. It's better than nothing. To consider all of these a bad resource because they're cheap I find insulting honestly, especially if you have no experience with them. I can't account for everybody's individual situations. The opposite of what I'm saying (i.e. "there's always hope") is, "there is not much out there for you, why bother?" which is extremely harmful. You're asking me to account for every situation when you write off my help because it doesn't fit every single individual. My point is there is always somebody to talk to and hope for people who struggle with mental health. That is a message everybody needs to hear. Period. It is unfair for you to completely write off my suggestions and offer none of your own.

I am not a therapist nor do I have the resources to offer specific help for every single person, but in general, these ARE helpful resources. Please keep an open mind before you completely write off what I have to say.

What have we been talking about on this thread? Mental health and harrassment. It's clearly not a banned topic. Getting rid of DNIs is not censorship nor does it put anybody in harm's way unlike the DNIs have. So far, DNIs according to admins HAVE been doing more harm than good so why are you saying they aren't?
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Re: New Rule: DNI (Do Not Interact) Lists are Banned

Postby ThePlungeTakers » Sat Jan 15, 2022 9:43 pm

so, if you have an external link like, say, a carrd, that just HAPPENS to have a DNI list on it, but is not literally JUST a DNI list, do you have to remove THAT link too? im fairly certain i have my carrd linked and most of it is just to give info about me, like my interests, my hobbies, and links to my social media, but it also does have a combination BYI and DNI list on it. does this new rule mean i have to remove the link to my carrd, now?
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Re: New Rule: DNI (Do Not Interact) Lists are Banned

Postby Plantcraft » Sat Jan 15, 2022 9:46 pm

I support this. The DNI ban is most definitely the right way to go, for everyone's safety. Yes, YOURS might prevent some people from talking to you, but SOMEONE ELSE'S may make them a target of bullying and/or harassment.

I just think that if something can directly cause a big problem for someone, even if it has a chance to solve some for others, isn't good on a site primarily targeted for children.
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Re: New Rule: DNI (Do Not Interact) Lists are Banned

Postby Goku-san » Sat Jan 15, 2022 9:47 pm

On the topic at hand, I understand why the rule was necessary. Aside from safety, I cannot even begin to imagine the workload the staff had to make sure these lists were complying with site rules. Not only that, since people mentioned that a lot of lists were linked to sites offsite, there's the safety issue regarding that because the staff can't moderate things that happen offsite and protect you from harm there.

The staff is trying to keep everyone as safe as possible. If you feel something isn't safe or right on site, bring it up and inform a staff member.

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Last edited by Goku-san on Sat Jan 15, 2022 9:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: New Rule: DNI (Do Not Interact) Lists are Banned

Postby Skye Fawn » Sat Jan 15, 2022 9:48 pm

mimitina wrote:And what if I unintentionally send a trade with a bunch of spiders? Now I am scared of sending such trades


People can still list pet preferences in their trade settings! That isn't against CS rules. DNI lists are something completely different. (=^_^=)

Ex. "I do not like or want to trade spiders! Trades with spiders will be canceled."
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Re: New Rule: DNI (Do Not Interact) Lists are Banned

Postby viles » Sat Jan 15, 2022 9:49 pm

  • mimitina wrote:and what if I unintentionally send a trade with a bunch of spiders? now i am scared of sending such trades

    users who are triggered by spiders usually put something in their trade rules saying that they do not want to receive spiders. the removal of dni lists shouldn't affect that, i would think.

    theplungetakers wrote:so, if you have an external link like, say, a carrd, that just HAPPENS to have a DNI list on it, but is not literally JUST a DNI list, do you have to remove THAT link too? im fairly certain i have my carrd linked and most of it is just to give info about me, like my interests, my hobbies, and links to my social media, but it also does have a combination BYI and DNI list on it. does this new rule mean i have to remove the link to my carrd, now?

    yep. one of the staff members clarified this. here is the post for reference.
    edit: i meant to add that if my understanding is correct that any offsite link with a dni in it will have to be removed.
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