New Rule: DNI (Do Not Interact) Lists are Banned

[ryo asuka]

hard agree w this one thank you staff. im glad its becoming more commonplace to discourage making dni lists bc its not the safest idea to compile a list of things that upset you especially given the kinds of people morally questionable enough to *do* bad things arent going to listen to a list (and if anything are going to be way more interested in using that information against you.) the block button is there for a reason and its useful

[Storyboos]

Were mods being expected to handle situations in which a DNI list was violated?

[GoldieDoggy]

you can say that this isn't the place for DNIs all you want, but that's simply not true? this is a forum site. people interact with each other here. some people are traumatized and don't want to interact with those who could potentially send them into an episode. some people get very heated over different opinions and just don't want to interact with those that they have opposing opinions with. some people just.. don't want to interact with certain people?

if you're going to run a website where people interact with each other, you have to be able to let them curate that experience themselves, and for some people that means letting them have a DNI.

I’d have to disagree with this. CS is meant to be child-friendly, and do all they can to protect their users. Posting DNI lists actively makes it much easier for others to cause you harm. The people who are traumatized ESPECIALLY should not be posting DNI lists. That literally tells people exactly how to give you a panic attack, and if you simply don’t want to interact with certain people? Block them! I (along with many others here) have seen the effects of DNI lists for a long while. They cause way more harm than good, which is why the staff have made this announcement.

[Lacuna]

you can say that this isn't the place for DNIs all you want, but that's simply not true? this is a forum site. people interact with each other here. some people are traumatized and don't want to interact with those who could potentially send them into an episode. some people get very heated over different opinions and just don't want to interact with those that they have opposing opinions with. some people just.. don't want to interact with certain people?

if you're going to run a website where people interact with each other, you have to be able to let them curate that experience themselves, and for some people that means letting them have a DNI.

People can curate their experience on a public forum site in various ways, as outlined in the announcement. What you are describing seems like something that is not enforceable, which is one of our major issues. Most DNIs we've encountered are linked offsite, which means the casual forum user won't see it and know not to reply to you if they have a certain anime gif in their signature or something. If you don't want to get into discussions with people of opposing views... we mostly don't host those here, and when we do they are in specific forums and easy to avoid. If there are specific people you don't want to interact with, that is what the block function is for.

[bluestyle]

okay, genuine question for all of the mods. i'd prefer if everyone was able to see the answer as well. /srs

why and when did this even start becoming a problem? we've had dni lists for AGES now, have people really started complaining about it, or was this just another blind attempt to enforce another one of your rules that we didn't have much of a problem with now?

[cuddlewuffle]

i really don't understand how continuously copy-pasting the same huge paragraph with rude wording like "maybe do your job" and "you just can't take criticism" then ending it off with "and if you do anything then that just shows ur immature" helps in any way

there are a lot of posts on this thread that disagree, made their points about disagreeing, and haven't gotten deleted? like they're still there?

then making a false equivalency from "it's the internet, you'll get harassed anyways" to "it's life, you're bound to die"? i don't understand that either. 0 to 100 real quick.

like in what way does talking down to mods help? who wants to be talked to like that?

this isn't me trying to be rude. just genuinely wondering

[LemonadeLyric]

Definitely agree with this rule.

Speaking as a full grown adult on this site, it absolutely sickens me how easily minors are able to put out their private information so easily and ALSO argue that they should be allowed to. It’s incredibly dangerous, and I know it sounds condescending because I WAS that minor once upon a time.

This site is for pixel pets, any DNIs either cover topics that shouldn’t be discussed on CS anyways (and therefore, you block and report rulebreakers), or it’s trivial topics that you can simply block people for on your own.

For those opposing this, take into consideration: If someone ignores your DNI, you’d still have to block them. If they READ your DNI and you decide you just don’t like them, you’re still allowed to block them. Block evasion is also against the rules. The DNI only serves to give trolls a list of ways to hurt you. And on a site like this, it seems unnecessary to list them out.

And note, I’m speaking as someone with a DNI I use on other sites, but not here, because those topics aren’t allowed here to begin with. I’ve had to block users flat out myself so I understand how frustrating it is having people ignore those rules.

Staff I want to thank you for looking out for your members and keeping our best interests at heart.
(Sorry I rambled so much,,)

[Geiger]

I agree with this rule. I’ve only seen DNI lists that are just “Do not interact if you are in -Fandom-” which feels really weird. I feel that they are unnecessary and petty, and glad to see this rule! DNI lists publicly show people’s triggers and therefore making them more vulnerable. Someone could easily see your list and go out of their way to send you something that upsets you, which is entirely possible, even if CS is a rather safe site. Never been a fan of DNI lists in the first place lol

[Lacuna]

Were mods being expected to handle situations in which a DNI list was violated?

why and when did this even start becoming a problem? we've had dni lists for AGES now, have people really started complaining about it, or was this just another blind attempt to enforce another one of your rules that we didn't have much of a problem with now?

Honestly, a lot of our issues were with dealing with the first point, inappropriate content in the DNI or the second point, getting what we allow on DNIs in line with our other rules. We did a lot of moderating of reported DNI lists for said inappropriate/rule-breaking content, getting people to edit them or remove links to them, and those reports were becoming more common. As Simon said, there was a lot of discussion on if it was possible to allow DNIs with caveats, but it was, in the end, decided that due to all the other potential problems (especially if we moderated what you could say, encouraging more people to make them because they were aware of the possibility) that it would be best not to allow them at all, mostly for safety (which includes protection from exposure to inappropriate content).

[Guest]

We do not allow users to share they are minors, so this is something we could not enforce, and therefore falls under things that are not suitable for a DNI on CS. Minors on CS speak with adults every day, and all PMs must follow CS rules so there is no danger to either party if PMs between a minor and adult occur. If anyone PMs you and you don't want to talk to them, you don't need to reply. If this is something you are very concerned about, please be aware that a lot of CS users are minors, and this is a site aimed at minors. You may turn of your PMs or set them to friends only if you want to avoid minors.

Also: Like and dislike lists are not banned. More harmless things ending up here are more about concerns with enforcement, as we can't really help you if you find out someone who likes a fandom PMed you about something totally unrelated.

Thanks for the reply!

My main concern is that being an adult I don't want to grow close to someone only to later realize they may be younger than I thought. While I could simply avoid this by not making any friends on CS at all, I don't feel like I should have to limit myself like that. I feel like there is at least a decent mix of adults and younger people on this website, enough so that it doesn't warrant me avoiding everyone here. I can't just simply put "adult" in my profile to avoid that, because some minors have no problem being friends with adults, and vice versa. It's just really weird and uncomfortable to be friends with someone much younger than me, and I can't always tell because some people act very mature for their age, and others may act immature for their age.

Not looking for it to be something enforced, however - just a personal preference. I don't think someone saying "please don't pm me if you're a minor" is something that should be enforced by mods, as the block function exists or if I wanted to I could just not reply, however I understand that others may not think the same way I do so it's a little more complicated than that. It's more of just a small safeguard so that some of the people who see it may actually take it into consideration.

Sorry if this is worded a little weirdly my brain doesn't want to function well today 😭