TheComfortCorner | V.9

[updog]

i havent done any work literally all day. time has just been passing by too fast lately. i finally got a referral from my therapist to see a psychiatrist, but i have to wait until at the very least monday (which at the rate time is going won't be hard), but i still have a mountain of work i need to get done that ive been ignoring for the past?? four weeks now??? and even worse, the sites that i go to to get dopamine are making me. really. really. stressed out. sometimes i think to myself, maybe things would be better if i just never said anything at all, but i've tried that, and it sucks! and it stresses me out even more!! and i feel awful if i dont write out every single thing that im thinking because what if someone takes it the wrong way? but then all of my posts just look like jumbled messes, following sixteen lines of thought at the same time. source: this one.

[bubbaberriboo]

x

[mean&gay]

ah yes, the height dysphoria paradox. i feel dysphoric because i'm short because i'm afab, but then i feel euphoric because height insecurity is a common source of toxicity in cis men. it all comes full circle. we really are pathetic creatures huh

[tomocolle]

do toxic siblings usually attempt to make everything you say become an awkward/second hand embarrassing moment?
because that’s exactly what my older brothers do
sure they’re no longer walking up to 8 year old me on my computer drawing on ms paint and then pointing to it, shouting “CANCER” over and over and then forcing me to close it and delete it, when all it was was some stupid drawing of a dog or some cartoon i liked
but still when i was a kid when i tried to make a joke they would make it extremely awkward and i’d essentially be their emotional punching bag, they’d love to make me feel like crap and they’d always judge me based off what i liked as a CHILD
and even now they were talking about vinesauce or whatever not being funny anymore so i recommended them a youtuber of the same nature (who i probably cant name here but he’s a guy who corrupts wii games and he’s honestly really hilarious) and i know they’re entitled to their own opinion.. but they were literally forcing the fact that they thought it wasn’t funny. they were pausing it and telling me that i’m a complete idiot if i find this funny and stuff like that and then they started shoving other youtubers down my throat
it seems that because i’m their little sister, everything i say or do is automatically cringy and stupid
i can’t stand them anymore
and yes, i was really cringy and stupid back then, but i noticed that in my childhood, all the things i said and did that i regretted the most were things i did when i was trying to act like them so they wouldn’t judge me so much
those are the same things that caused me to spend all of my time in elementary school without a single friend or anyone who even remotely liked me
i can’t wait for the day i clear my final school exams and move away so i can never see them again <3

[ObscuredThicket]

x

[viles]

• i feel like nothing. i don't mean that i don't have emotions right now, because i do. i just,, idk. i feel like who i am as a person is nothing. my personality is nothing, my mind is nothing, my existence is nothing. i want to be the main character but at best i'm just a npc whose only purpose is to perform the same animation over and over again. idk maybe that's why i want a diagnosis so badly, to have anything that makes me feel like i am something, even if that means the something isn't great.
  also i didn't take medicine today. my doctor would be very disappointed if i was honest in how often i do not take my medicine.

[SurgeFire]

Hello, update since I didn’t want to make a new post
Things are… okay.
Still stressful and I still feel not entirely heard. It’s like a calm, sort of. Too many emotions about things happening IRL and only that is my focus here.
Well, tomorrow’s going to be busy. Looking forward to that.

It all feels like an inescapable ocean, sometimes, as dramatique as it is. Obligations and expectations that I fail to meet (still IRL). Sometimes, it’s hard not to drown. I just hope my email's read soon enough—after breaking down yet again after having a horrible ‘conversation’.
Sighs

[002]

I'm struggling so much right now

[sugarbird]

-

[annaki]

put a finger down if you were always told how great you were and how smart you were as a small child, so you believed you didn't need help because you were so smart you just picked up on everything right away, and since you never "needed help" nobody ever told you that you literally had a learning disability even though they knew the whole time so you never knew that it was entirely reasonable to ask for help, but you didn't ever ask for help because you were always told that you should let the kids that actually need help get the help and you should just do your thing, but now that you're older and the rest of your life has caught up to you and you seriously need help but you don't know how because you never needed, while all your friends are telling you about everything they're achieving and all the awards their winning, and while you're happy for them you wonder why you can't do that, why you're just a perfectly average nobody now, why you don't know anymore, and throughout all of this your sister is consistently outpreforming you in everything you've ever done so now anything you did looks like nothing now ✌️