>>> What the soul has lost <<< Kalon 1900

[wildly-unaware]

Kalon #1900 Entry

by -wild-

~ Table of Contents ~

○ Introduction
○ The Search
○ Personal Profile
○ Conclusion




~ Form Key ~
grey writing - 'you', the reader
"Questions" - from the reader
normal writing - the kalons answers

Pixel Credits

x | x | x | x | x

all credit goes to creators of the pixels used in form. any other pixels/dividers used will be of my own making if not marked here

[wildly-unaware]

"Listen
.... time passes."

It wasn't often you came to the graveyards. No. Hardly ever really. What need would you have? There was nothing here for you to see, no one here for you to visit, just another place that you knew of, but a place you didn't often visit. But tonight was ... different, somehow. A thought came into your head, one that you could not shift. It grew more and more as the day went on. Some sort of ... curiosity perhaps? Whatever it was, it was compelling. Compelling you there. To the graveyard.

Why?
You're not entirely sure. But your legs are taking you there.
Why? Why are you going?
Again, you aren't entirely sure, but you can't seem to stop your legs from taking your there. You seemed to know the path there well, as if you visited there often. But you never went there? What was happening? You wished you knew, but you didn't. You wanted to feel scared but... you didn't. Instead and odd sense of calmness over took you. A feeling of comfort, of warmth, of excitement.

You kept going. You wanted to keep going.
Then, you reached your destination. The gates of the graveyard stood before you and before you even had time to think - you entered.

You noticed the silence before anything else.
It was quiet. Deathly quiet. What else did you expect?
You wandered for a while, unsure of why you were
really there. You noticed the graves were tidier
than what they normally were. You contemplated
the chain of events that led you to here.
To this moment.

Time passed. You listened. Time passed more.

Quiet. Everything was quiet. The sound of time.
That's what you were told. Quietness was the sound
of the time passing us by.
You tried to remember who told you that. Why you
knew that phrase and held it so highly. But you
couldn't remember. You never could. You wandered
What led you to think of that phrase now? Hmm.

Wait. What was that? What was that voice? You spun
around. Nothing. You could of swore you heard a voice.
You did! There it was again. You spun back around and
this time... you saw it. You saw them.

You called out to them. Will they answer?

"Who are you?"

Hmm, how interesting. You are ... speaking to me? Most ... often run when they see me first. How curious.

The large kitsune before you spoke now, with a voice that was a lot softer and lower than what you previously expected. It had a familiarity to it that you couldn't quite place.

Oh! I do apologise. How rude of me, you asked me a question. I do beg your pardon, my social skills are not what they were... Anyways! Who am I? Well, it's somewhat a simple question. To most I am know as the Keeper of the after-rest, or the Protector of the resting. It depends on where in the world you are.
Although, I use to be more commonly known by my name, that would be Esperanza Kamali. However, there are few who know of that name these days...
But alas. That's by the by. What brings you here, if you don't mind me asking? Visiting someone special? Someone loved perhaps...

You thought for a moment... what did bring your here? An urge? A gut feeling? You still weren't entirely sure.
"I'm just ... taking a walk."

A walk you say? Hmm. Bit of an odd place to come for a walk don't you think?

You chose not to respond, causing the Kitsune Kalon to eye you up and down

Very well, if that's what you insist on... Come, why don't I show you around? I know this place like the back of my hand. Well, I wouldn't be very good at my role if I didn't.. but anyways! Let's get going. It's been quite sometime since I had company.

You walked for a short while with Esperanza. She told you everything about the graveyard, how old it was, that latest burial there and how long it had been since Esperanza was last here. She seemed to know the names of every single creature buried here without even looking at the headstones. It was impressive, but a little eerie... but still you were intrigued. You had no urge to leave, if anything, you had more of an urge to stay.

"Why are you here tonight?"

You asked, watching as Esperanza's expression softened. The Kalon before you took a few moments, almost as if they were gathering their thoughts. After a little while, Esperanza answered.

Well, it's all a part of my role, you see. As the protector of the resting. Part of that 'protecting', is checking up on every resting place and making sure all those who rest are undisturbed. And so that's what I do every night. I come at nighttime because most of the resting places are empty around that time. Well the odd time I'd see a group of teens, trying to see a 'ghost' or something. Heh, I'd sometimes give them a spook just for the fun of it... But I mostly leave to go elsewhere if I see the living around. Which is odd that I didn't notice you before ... hmm.
Anyways ... that's why I'm here. Sometimes I'll visit the ocean too. Sea burials were quite popular sometime ago you see. It's always fun but, I prefer the land myself.

As the large kitsune chuckled at her own story it made you smile, half at her story and half in a comfortable familiarity you felt while in Esperanza's presence.

"Don't you ever get bored?"

Oh... What a good question. I understand why you'd ask it, I suppose if you only had a limited time on this plane you would get bored of doing the same thing over and over again. But no, I don't get bored. Not ever actually. See, I've spent my time on this plane, been through my trials of existence and now, well, here I am.

Now, now. Don't look at me like that, I'm not a ghost! Ha! Don't worry dear, your face told me all. I am a real being, still living. My lifespan is just infinitely longer than it used to be ...

Anywho, this is my role now, what I'm meant to do and I do it. And I suppose I enjoy it too.

You watched as their face changed as thoughts or memories seemed to pass through their mind. You were about to say something but Esperanza opened her mouth to speak instead.

Now that I think about it ... There's more to it than that. I enjoy it, don't get me wrong, I love what I do but... There's something that also sort of ... keeps me hopeful, or excited when I journey to a new yard every night. To see whether or not I'll find what I'm looking for.

[wildly-unaware]

"What is it that you're searching for?"

Hmm. Haha. Sorry, I don't want to fumble over my words, and to be quite honest with you I'm a little nervous telling someone else my story. It's been so long since I've told this to anyone ... Actually, I'm not entirely sure I've told anyone before.

See, everywhere I go, I guess there is something I'm searching for too...

"Something?" You ask. Picking up on their soft tone change.

Well, someone, I suppose.

Esperanza went silent for a long while now, not saying a thing, seemingly lost in their own happy memories. But you were curious. It almost ate you up inside, how much you wanted to know more.

"Tell me more ... why are you looking for them in a graveyard?"

Oh my... yes I understand that may seem an odd place to be looking for someone, ha ha. But I assure you it's not because they are within the grave, no no. Well, not exactly, anyway.


See, beings spend many lifetimes on this plane before deciding to take the eternal rest. And not everyone will have an eternal rest when they're finished their existences, sometimes they'll become a different or higher being, a little like myself. Anyways, before I became ... like this, I spent many year on this plane of existence which I knew to be my last. I wanted to enjoy myself, do everything I hadn't before. I was lucky you see, I knew that it was my last time here as a mortal, not many get that chance to be aware, probably like yourself.

So that's what I did. I travelled, I lived and eventually ... I fell in love. That part was unplanned.

I spent my entire last mortal life with them, my love... my soulmate. When I lost them ... it was soul destroying. I had never known such love before, the love of a twin flame. I hadn't expected to loose them so soon and so much before me. I was broken, so when my time came to go, I couldn't accept it. And the after-powers ... they seemed to know that my journey wasn't completed. They seemed to understand my pain. So they gave me this life, this embodiment, this role - protector of the resting. And with the crowning of this role they gave me one more thing - they told me that my love hadn't completed their existences here yet. They still had many to go. You live hundreds you see. The after-powers told me that if I could find them before their eternal existence, they could make them a being like me - so long as they wanted to.

From that very moment, that is what I've been doing. Searching - for them.

I search in the graveyards now in case they've already succumbed to their eternal rest. Oh now ... don't look at me like that, I can almost hear your thoughts ... No, I wouldn't return them here. Once you reach the rest of the eternal, you stay there, undisturbed, And if I were to disturb them from their eternal rest ... Well, then I wouldn't be very good at my only job, would I?

It drove me mad for a little while, I have to admit. See all of these eyes on my body? I didn't start with all of these, I just had my third eye granted when I first got my form. But my search at the beginning ... it was ruthless, tiresome and utterly maddening. As my frantic search continued, it began to affect my physically. My body morphed in ways it should not have, these eyes just started appearing left, right and centre. I'm still not entirely sure why ... I suppose the physical toll of the mad goose chase I was on manifested as eyes to help my search? To have more eyes on the job? Who knows ... now I'm left with numerous ones, I'm not even sure how many there are now ... But alas ... They've came in handy in some ways, ha.

Oh child, don't worry. I'm quite alright now, I'm not half as frantic. I've come to terms with it really. Whether I meet them again, or not, only time will tell now.
It's been so long now, I barely even remember how they look like ... isn't that sad? Oh well, it's no matter. I still remember how they feel and how they made me feel, which was incredible. And that is all that matters.


You were speechless , Esperanza's story was so overwhelming. It touched your heart and you felt a little bad for them. And still, you felt drawn to know more.

"How long have you been searching?"

Hmm, probably about eleven.

"Eleven? You've been searching for eleven years?"

Eleven hundred. Give or take.

You were stunned, overwhelmed and so, so invested in Esperanzsa's story and her past, so much so that you were at a loss for words. Eleven hundred years searching for their love from a past life. Her dedication was truly magnificent.

You looked up to the sky now, the moon was full and the stars shone bright. You ought to be getting home now, it was late. You looked back to Esperanza. She was sitting silently, staring at the moon, seemingly deep in thought. You couldn't leave. Not yet, something inside you was begging for you to stay with her, if only for a little while.

"Do you mind if I stay for a little while longer?" You asked.

Esperanza didn't look away from the moon, she only smiled and nodded slightly.

"Sure dear. It's been nice having the company. Stay for as long as you'd like."

[wildly-unaware]

From the conversations you've had tonight, this is what you've gathered;

Name: Esperanza Kamali
Gender: Female
Pronouns She/They
Age: Hundreds of thousands?

They weren't specific...

Role: Protector of the Resting
Voice: like daisy ridley

Personality

From what you've saw of Esperanza tonight, she seems like an aloof yet thoughtful character. Someone who appreciates time by themselves but enjoys company of others more than she'd care to admit. They are knowledgable about many things and seems to enjoy teaching others new things or help them understand more about topics on which they might not understand too well. They are a gentle creature who doesn't expect much of anybody. There isn't any tension or aggressiveness to them, they actually seem to be completely against conflict or any kind. She isn't overly focused, she often gets lost in thought or else looses her train of thought altogether.

Backstory

Esperanza was once a mortal in this world and lived many lives here
including her last one, where she met her soul mate. Her soul mate
however, was not on her final existence here and when it was her time
to go she would be returning in another life. Esperanza however was
not, and when the after-powers witnessed her love and distraught
at losing her soul mate, they made her into a higher being to protect
the resting souls and allow her time to search for her soul mate, so
that if she found them, the after-powers would allow their soul
mate to become a higher being too.

1. Where the Watermelons Rot - Madelynn Whitt
2. Half the World Away - Aurora
3. From Eden - Hozier
4. Strawberry Blond - Mitski
5. La Vie En Rose - Emily Watts
6. Rivers and Roads - The Head and the Heart
7. The Night we met - Lord Huron
8. Everything I Need - Skylar Grey
9. Fix You - Colplay
10. Reminder - Mumford and Sons
11. Mess - Noah Kahan
12. Somewhere only we know - Lily Allen Cover

Likes

✔ - The Moon (she hasn't stopped staring at most of the night)
✔ - The Sunset
✔ - Quietness
✔ - Crows and Ravens
✔ - Nocturnal Animals

Dislikes

✗ - Disturbances
✗ - Disrespectful people
✗ - When it's too bright
✗ - Neon colours
✗ - Built up areas

Portraits
(All art listed is made by myself)

[wildly-unaware]

Hours past and before you knew it, the sky started getting brighter and the sun was about to rise. You hadn't noticed the time passing as you sat talking with Esperanza about anything and everything.

You had quite enjoyed your time here, with her. Your heart sank a little, realising that you would surely have to leave soon and Esperanza would leave, most likely not to return here for quite some time.

"Thank you, for tonight." You said. Esperanza smiled and nodded slightly

"And you. I've lacked some contact with others for some time now, this was nice. Thank you for listening to an old souls stories. Be careful on your way home."

You nodded, thinking of a way to delay further your time here, but nothing came to mind and soon Esperanza was looking at the sky, an impatience growing on her features as you knew she would want to leave before it got bright. "It was nice meeting you, Esperanza." You smiled, looking at her one more time. She avoided eye contact but smiled still and sat, as if to imply she would watch as you left. You smiled once more before turning away from them and heading towards the gates of the graveyard


"Oh, wait! I don't think I caught your name dear?"


Smiling, turned back around. Esperanza was still in range so you held out your paw to shake hers. Esperanza tilted her head slightly looking at it before she caught onto what you meant which made you giggle. Esperanza smiled now and took your paw as she looked at you now properly for the first time. You opened your mouth to speak your name, but Esperanza got there first.

Within a split second of her gazing upon your face, her features changed to a sequence of shock and disbelief asall the eyes on her body widened. You felt a wave of energy pass through you as she looked deep into your eyes, feeling like she was staring straight into your soul before she spoke,


"Isaiah? Is that really you?"