for everything

[honeycreeper]

I need some space.
do not post please

[honeycreeper]

buttermilk 900

Username: honeycreeper66
Name: Elliot
Gender: Bull
Scarf #: one; Autumn Path
theme; The Guardian

When does it get quiet?
Time was supposed to extinguish the desire
But the embers won't snuff out

Ringing in my ears, my breath is too fast, I can't catch her. This is shock, I believe? It burns. The pain is unimaginable - I can't breathe and my eyes burn. Am I crying? I thought I forgot how to cry. It's been so long since something like this happened again that I guess I just - forget it, it doesn't matter. She was right here, where did she go? Her scarf is still warm, wrapped around my neck. Soft like a hug, but I'm numb. Why did she go - why can't I reach her?

Haunted by your smiles
The mask keeps getting heavier
One step forward, two steps back

It's okay - I'll just find her on my way. It's only been a few days, I can walk a few more. She'll be waiting for me at the end of the trail - at the old oak I'm sure of it. She'll smile at me - I might cry, but I know she won't judge me. It's been a rough few weeks after all, she'll understand. I'm sure of it.

There's a noose round my neck and the further I get
It's harder & harder to breathe
Can I find a way to cut the rope?

I can follow her. I believe so - she's just around the corner, just around the bend on this lonely road. Oh, Denial, how I loathe you so. I've been running for so long, but you always catch up. I can't seem to sleep, with this, this thing holding me down. I want to tear it off my thinning neck and stomp it into the ground, but it seems to anchor me. Am I drowning? It feels like it. I Thought I was better - no I Was better, why does this godforsaken keepsake keep me tied to the Earth? Take me with her.

I've been waiting for dawn
But the light is all gone.
Don't know if I'm already blind
Can I leave it all behind?

I sleep fitfully, like always. I can't rest until this journey of mine is finished. I keep having fleeting pleas of perishing, but I always awake just in time for my heart to start once again. It's painful, why can't I rest? She haunts me, her bluebell eyes and deep chuckles. Her baritone was like music to my ears. Oh, I can see her. Maybe if I just reach a little further?

What's it really for if it's not yours and it's not mine?
This victory is not what I hoped for
How was I to know that everything would end up like this?
Survival of the fittest
Of sorts

Why? Why does it have to be like this - they didn't have to take her, she would still be here wrapped in my embrace, but instead, she's far far away from my reach. I've wondered when you'd end up wandering into here - my little mind escape of mine. I've realized that it's not fair. You see Anger, they didn't have to take her. If she was still here, I would be in my fields of green, not miles and miles away. It's not fair, not at all!

But I remember why I'm supposed to be here. She always wanted to see that old tree once again. God, I want to smack her.

So I've become the bringer of death
A lover of life
The one who guards from the dark of the night
I'll be the hammer of war
Justice & mercy don't live side by side
So in retribution I abide
I'll tip the scales to justice's end
But can it make amends?

I can't move, please, just let me rest - I can't see her eyes once more, I'll lose it. My mind is in threads, I can't feel my heart, is it beating? I think I'll rest, please. I want her. She was much better than me, please for the love of God take me. Is this Bargaining? It feels somehow worse.

Bring her back, please I beg of you.

Kill or be killed
What a way to live and die
I just can't see this cycle ever ending
How can I correct the damage done when I can't feel
The consequences of my recourse

I pushed her away. I always yelled at her over the smallest of problems. It seemed to always be her fault - now it's my fault to be burdened with. I did this, she's gone because of me. This can't be Depression - for she knew me better than others. The emotions that I know now, she could decipher with a glance. I should have loved her more. I should have told her I loved her more than anything.

So I've become the bringer of death
A lover of life
The one who guards from the dark of the night
I'll be the hammer of war
I've been waiting for dawn
But the light is all gone.
Don't know if I'm already blind
Can I leave it all behind?

Hello, it's been a while. Yes, I've traveled for many moons, but trust me when I tell you that it's all better now. I've met your friends, I didn't like them much. I believe that you're much more accepting than the others.

My feet are tired, as are my eyes. I haven't eaten a proper meal from this garden in months, but the sight of the tree makes my aches and pains go away. Carefully, I wrap the scarf around the base of the old oak we were born under. The oak she rests under now. I lay next to her and look to the stars.

I believe that this journey has been eye-opening. She lies her head on my neck and whispers for me to sleep. I look into her eyes - they're exactly as I remember. I can rest now, she's at peace.

wonderful art created by aurora!

[honeycreeper]

kalon 1800

Username/ID: honeycreeper66 | 945117
Kalon Name: Alheimurinn | Murinn
What kind of world does this Kalon hail from
and how do they get home?

image re-drawn by me, here's the reference that I used

Closer | Home and Dreams

A world born out of destruction. War is a dangerous thing - what’s the point in winning when you lose yourself along the way? Is that what I was born out of as well - destruction? Am I meant to destroy? To break what I touch, not turn to gold, but to stone? I feel like I’m stuck, watching this planet die - and along with it the people. The people who have been here for millennia, but are dying nonetheless. There’s fire everywhere - burning buildings, dens that have collapsed. There’s shouts and cries - pleas for help, for this to just stop already. This is war, the howling screams and banging of drums. The once blue skies are darkened with smog, I can’t breathe. Why is my breath escaping me? This is just a dream, why does it feel so real? I can feel my heart beating out of my chest - my tired eyes dried of tears and the burning of the flames that lick at my sides.

The once white flowers are stained pink - a terrible mockery of Alice’s wonderland. But Alice's wonderland was more like Hell wasn’t it? She’s stuck in this dream of hers, and cannot awaken. She’s forced to be tormented and harassed by the people of this new world she finds herself in.

Someone - finally another living being - approaches me, fast and hurried. She’s scared as well, but she hides it well. She pulls me close and tells me to run. Run away as far as I can, don’t stop and just keep going. She pushed me away and I’m flying through space, faster than time and light. Where am I going? Why is she still there - please let me take her with me, she can’t stay, she’ll perish alone.

I awaken with a choked off scream and my heart starts beating once again. These dreams - no nightmares are tearing me apart. Her eyes haunt me - it’s too blurry to point out the details of her hair, her nose, her everything, but her eyes are a tell-tale sign of her love. They’re just like mine.

[348 words]

The Chain | Breaking Away

Another cloudless night, another dreamless sleep, another night of my heart pounding against my ribcage. Why do these dreams haunt me so - they’re as vivid as real life, not make believe like some children’s bedtime story. The stained flowers, pained screams of others and smog filled skies flash behind my closed eyes. I can’t get any rest - the images are always there no matter how much I beg and pray for them to leave.

The night was as dark as my visions, dreams, nightmares - and I was sick of it. Sick of the visions that haunted me, the screams that echo in my head, the flowers that seem to grow wherever I step. I screamed. I cried. I sobbed out my frustration, hoping that one day these visions would leave me alone.

I decided, right then and there, that if they would not leave on their own, I’d make them.

[150 words]

[honeycreeper]

kalon 1800

Birds | Running

I crashland once again, the ground below me moving like simple clay being molded into something beautiful. Another planet, another world that I hide in for years - until it blooms like the rest. I seem to create life wherever I go - but that can’t be right. In my dreams there’s death and destruction. Are they even dreams anymore? They seem so real and I can’t run away from them. I remember when I was younger and practically begged any Gods or Goddesses that might exist for them to stop. But, alas, they never listened - and the dreams only got more vivid as I grew. Now, I try not to pay attention - for I know that I’ll lose my mind if I think of that deserted wasteland of a planet.

This planet is like any other that I’ve crashed into - the terrain is old and sandy, the skies are dark and cloudless. I stand still and feel the air around me.

I breathe in.

Pushing beneath the ground below me, I anchor myself there. My eyes are closed, yet I can see everything around me. The little acidic puddle turning to crystal clear water. The black ground turned a natural hue of what must’ve been the grass and the skies lightened up like I’ve never seen before.

I breathe out.

Time has passed - how much I can’t tell, but if this is what I can do when I stay in one place, I think I favor it a lot more than running.

[252 words]

[honeycreeper]

kalon 1800

To Build a Home

I’m not accustomed to tragedy, but it seems the more I dream the more I realize what tragedy is. I dream of far away places I haven’t seen in eons, of blooming plants and clearing skies. And then there’s the nightmares. I’ve learned to categorize them as such, and in doing so I’ve come to terms with where I come from. A place of war and destruction. I’ve been tempted once or twice to return there and see what’s left of the planet, but I still believe that the planet only exists in my mind.

Now though, I know what my home is - who it’s with. It’s with another traveler who doesn’t remember their exact home - they're absolutely wonderful and I’d destroy the ends of the universe for them.

I decided, after eons, to return and bring them with me. I believe that I can make the old planet new again - and make our own home there. We travel their way, which takes longer than expected, but soon I see the planet. It’s white and gray- which is surprising. I had thought it would be dark and scary, but it looks almost melancholic. Dens made of rubble fall around me, and the planet is already overgrown with plant life. There’s no pink stained flowers and gray sky. It’s peaceful

I breathe in.

[226 words]

Love Like You | The Meeting

They love unconditionally. Without fear. How do they do it? They're so upbeat about so many things - a stark difference from a few months ago. It seems that our relationship has bloomed like the world around us. Pink flowers bloom - there’s no stains. A gigantic smile is there. It’s absolutely beautiful. They’re wonderful, I think I love them.

They’re my family now; the face in my dreams are replaced by their eyes and blinding smile. There’s no death and destruction, only blooming of flowers and a bright future. I’m excited for tomorrow, for I know it will be with them. What a wonderful world we’ve created together.

[110 words]

[honeycreeper]

kalon 1906

Name: Kiiro
Gender: nonbinary, but masculine presenting
Mask: done, must link
Backstory: [1000/1000 - extra included]

I remember bursting into existence. The burning of my dark fur, the feeling of falling. The impact broke my gifted mask. The Earth was destroyed around me; caves crumbled to nothing and trees burned away. My existence was painful, but I remember being told it was for a good cause.

I remember their voices, cold and calculating. The Elder Gods telling me that the Earth they made was falling into darkness – and soon would ice over. I was given the knowledge and gift to fix it. A singular lantern, with a drop of sun for light was gifted to me. I was taught how to make more. I was taught selflessness – to give myself so that others could be saved. My purpose was nothing, but to save the earth. That’s what I was made for.

When I awoke in that crater, they had found me. They were ecstatic. They rejoiced – screams fell from their lips. They gave me gifts - swords made from rare ore and armor made from dragon scales. Gifts that a protector would cherish. But I was a mere messenger. I couldn’t allow them to believe a false truth.

So, I did what I was made to do. I created a lantern from that armor of dragon scales. I reached out, and pulled a drop of sun out of the sky. The sun made itself home in the lantern.

I remember holding out the lantern to the people. I had explained that I wasn’t here to fight no enemy of theirs; I was here to save them.

I remember their confusion, their bewilderment . . their anger. They lashed out at me, screaming that I was a false God. That I was only there to watch them freeze to death. They screamed that, if I really was a God, that I would protect them from their enemy. I tried to explain, I really did. I must have repeated myself a hundred times, but my words fell onto deaf ears.

They hurt me. I remember my voice wavering, asking for forgiveness. Their sharp stones pierced more than my skin. My lantern was shattered and my little drop of sun hid. I was ran out of the little village I landed in. The people chased me to the edge of their territory, a never-ending forest of darkness.

I felt emotions I wasn’t supposed to feel – that I wasn’t made to feel. Misery had wrapped itself around my soul.

Decades passed, and while I didn’t save the earth as I was made to do, the people survived. They survived in a world of ice and snow.
But my forest remained. The trees remained green and the air was hot. My little drop of sun survived and kept me away from them. Stories told by those villagers portrayed me as the villain. A false God. And eventually, I was tempted to believe them.

Wouldn’t you believe the words as well, if they were the only thing being said?


Now then, it has been years since I’ve thought of my existence. The flames licking at my fur is just a distant memory, a phantom pain. I don’t remember the feeling of falling, only the fear that it brought. I’ve grown so much, learned more than I ever thought I would have been allowed to.

That old village has now been abandoned and I’ve since gathered all of the creations from that silent and painful place. The bowls and recipes from all different dens were stuffed into a leather bag of mine. Soft pillows and blankets were stolen away and made into a nest, making it cozy and warm. Wood and tools from outside a stone den were carefully tucked away.

I learned the beauty of architecture. I learned how to make myself a home. The bowls made from clay sit on my shelves – used and loved. The recipes for rich soups and tasty breads sit on-top of my table in the middle of the floor. My broken mask hangs above my den, reminding me of my home. Of the Elder Gods. Of their gifts.

Of course, I haven’t forgotten how or why I was created. I remember vividly everything from that time. The Elder Gods voices, how cold and calculating they were. Their lessons, on how to create the lanterns that were supposed to save their creations.

The drop of sun’s warmth. It’s comforting presence.

I was lost that time I spent in the dark – crying out in pain. Until the little flame took refuge in my original lantern. The little golden creature had lit up my soul, and in return I carried them everywhere I went.

The tales of me held strong over the years – for every time that I ventured too close to the abandoned village I would hear voices. For them, I was a fraud of a God, who now rotted in the forest.

The forest that was once as dark as night was now lit up. Lanterns were made from anything I could get my hands on – from old ore to bone. They decorated my forest. My home. I made sure to make a path to my little den in the middle – for those who wander in, aren’t likely to get out without some help.

And even then, they definitely didn’t wander in on their own accord.

If you were to disobey the King, you would be banished. Because of this, I have helped countless of villagers across my forest into sanctuary. Sanctuary that I made. You see, on the other side of my forest was a village I created all my own. Dens, full of supplies, were built. Just for others.

I make sure to always carry an extra unlit lantern in my leather bag, for I know if I have a visitor they will need the warmth and protection of a flame.

I failed once – and even though I know it wasn’t my fault, I still blame myself. I refuse to let it happen once again.