TheComfortCorner | V.9

[catsshrine]

I wish I didn't have such a hard time expressing my feelings.
I only rarely feel comfortable expressing how I feel
around my s/o and my family is a whole other story.
It just feels like such a task whenever I want to express
that I feel happy, sad or any emotion when talking to people.

My voice is pretty deep and dull and people have
told me it's hard to distinguish how I'm feeling from
how I speak ;/

I don't have this issue when texting/typing because
emotions but yeh,,,

[rum]

having the worst depressive episode i've had in awhile. i joked about it with my friend last night, yknow, being funny and making chaos to cope with everything, but jesus it's so bad now. everything hurts so much. i feel so heavy and every movement virtually aches. i just want to melt into nothing and not have to deal with this. i have no form of expression and i dont know how to cope with it anymore. i can't draw or write because i dont have the energy, i can't talk to anyone directly because i don't know how, hell i can't even cry because i'm so emotionally stunted.
all i really want right now is to have a breakdown, get the feelings out somehow so they're not stuck in my head like this, festering, but i can't and it hurts so bad. all i want is to sit in my room for 20 minutes and lay there and sob but i can't even have that.

[onion]

people are driving me up the absolute wall just by existing and its like. why cant they just be good people? why does everyone have to turn out bad? why does everyone turn their back on me?

[viles]

• not feeling good today. tried talking about period things with my dad (aka casually mentioning it in conversation) and he freaked out. i want to tell him that his response bothered me, as it would be amazing to be open more about things like that. but whatever ig lol.

[onion]

the only thing im good at is being depressed

[saltcow]

im so sorry if i bother anyone, please don't feel obligated to read.
today has been one of the worst days over the past few years and I really needed to get it out before my mind drifts too far off. i was forced to come out today. it wasn't my choice. i had no control over it. it hurts me so so much that i could not take the time to do it on my own, i wasn't ready. my dad was talking at dinner about a very bad topic and he was being very very homophobic, so i spoke out on it. this lead him to say "if any of my children come out as gay or whatever, i would consider my life a disappointment." this hurt me very deeply and i began to tear up, since i identify as bisexual. i was crying silently, trying to stop myself, because i didn't want to give myself away. he started yelling at me and asked why i was crying, so i asked if i could go eat outside, to which he said no to. i left anyway, but he was screaming at me the entire way out. i broke down outside, like, convulsing sobs, because i was considered an utter failure in my fathers eyes, it hurt.my step mum and my sister figured it out and they asked me about it, which caused me to hurt so much more, even though they were supportive of it. i had no control over my own coming out story.
i wasn't planning on coming out till college, when i had more control over my life. now my dad hates me and im not allowed to go to his house anymore.
does anyone have any advice on what to do ? im pretty shaken and my mind isn't in the right place.

[bantry bay]

i can't do this?? i can't do this i can't do this i hate this stupid stupid stupid disease
i wish it would just stop!! i want the world to stop spinning for one second,
for the sounds to stop being so loud and punching through my ears,
for bright lights to stop being knives in my eyes!!
there isn't a pause button and i don't know if i can do this
the state of the world is a stone in my chest and i just
want everything
to stop.
just for a moment!!

[vi‎ ‎]

[cribunni]

there's a good in goodbye, i just have to believe in it...

[Rye_]

im so sorry if i bother anyone, please don't feel obligated to read.
today has been one of the worst days over the past few years and I really needed to get it out before my mind drifts too far off. i was forced to come out today. it wasn't my choice. i had no control over it. it hurts me so so much that i could not take the time to do it on my own, i wasn't ready. my dad was talking at dinner about a very bad topic and he was being very very homophobic, so i spoke out on it. this lead him to say "if any of my children come out as gay or whatever, i would consider my life a disappointment." this hurt me very deeply and i began to tear up, since i identify as bisexual. i was crying silently, trying to stop myself, because i didn't want to give myself away. he started yelling at me and asked why i was crying, so i asked if i could go eat outside, to which he said no to. i left anyway, but he was screaming at me the entire way out. i broke down outside, like, convulsing sobs, because i was considered an utter failure in my fathers eyes, it hurt.my step mum and my sister figured it out and they asked me about it, which caused me to hurt so much more, even though they were supportive of it. i had no control over my own coming out story.
i wasn't planning on coming out till college, when i had more control over my life. now my dad hates me and im not allowed to go to his house anymore.
does anyone have any advice on what to do ? im pretty shaken and my mind isn't in the right place.

Nooe. You don’t bother anyone. The best advice I can give is screw him. At least that’s my mind set. As a lesbian with some v e r y conservative family, that’s the mindset I adopted. If they are really upset/angry that I want to be happy with a nice lady, then they aren’t worth my time to worry about. I apologize if that doesn’t make sense, it’s a bit awkward to put into words. Basically, if they don’t strive purely for your happiness, screw them and what they think. Make yourself happy by ignoring his hate and ignorance. So long as you’re safe, and it sounds like your mom can help you with that.
Feel free to ask me any more questions or anything! I answer all PMs, and that goes to anyone else who needs it