Nthanda waited somewhat tensely in the garden. Her brother was visiting and while she had wanted to see him, she wasn't sure what to do or say in the wake of his recent problems.
Truth be told she was disappointed in him. She loved him but couldn't find any way to condone what he had done and if he asked she didn't think she could lie just to make him feel better.
"You seem upset."
The familiar voice made Nthanda look back toward the path where her brother had arrived, flanked by his guards whom he dismissed now with a gesture.
"Did you have a pleasant journey?" She shouldn't be avoiding it she knew, but she wanted to as long as she could.
"It wasn't too bad, a little warm." He shrugged slightly, his gaze searching her face in that not so subtle way of his. Nthanda wondered what he saw but wasn't left guessing long before he said, "You're upset with me. I can see it."
Her first instinct was to deny it, but she knew she couldn't so she shook her head. "Why did you do it?" She asked quietly.
"I don't know. I just...I wanted more than what I had. It's...just politics she and I. I didn't think she'd find out, or that it would hurt anything. I thought...maybe you'd understand."
Nthanda felt her chest tighten a little at his words. "You didn't think, and that's the problem. I know how you feel. I know it's hard to not have a choice in who you're with or where you go, but I think you forgot that she had no more choice than you. Maybe even less of one than you."
"I know you're right she just..she doesn't even love me."
"She doesn't have to love you to be hurt Nadir. She probably feels humiliated, and even if she only likes you in the slightest she may still feel betrayed by what you've done. But do you really even know how she feels?"
Nadir glanced away a little in the way he often did when he felt bad. "We haven't talked much lately."
"I love you Nadir, but I can't excuse anything you've done. You hurt them both and you're hurting too by now I'd imagine."
"I know she's hurt. But they'll forget about it, then things will get better."
"This isn't something that will just go away. She won't likely forget it and now she'll have to endure the rumors and whispers for as long as she lives with the pride. It's hard enough to be a foreign royal in a new place marrying someone you barely know." Her tone wasn't too harsh or accusatory but was pointed and serious.
"I...I don't know how to fix it Nthanda. I want to be with someone I love but I didn't realize what it would do to her."
"I'm not sure what to tell you. Unless you leave her and forfeit your rank and place in the pride I don't see how you can be with anyone else."
Nadir was quiet a moment, his blue gaze troubled as he fixed his eyes on the trees beyond the garden. "I suppose...sometimes true love means letting go. And I do owe it to her to...fix things. If I can." He was quiet again then looked back at Nthanda. "Do you think she can ever forgive me?"
"I don't know. Even if she does she may never forget, and things may never be the same, or as good as they could have been."
"That will be my own fault I guess. I'll be lucky if she even speaks to me when I go back."
"Yes you will be," she said frankly. "It's not as if she can just leave you even if she wants to, so try to give her some space if she needs it."
"I will do my best. I swear, I never meant for things to be such a mess." For a moment his expression was almost agonized and Nthanda could see all the weight of the world settling on him in that one moment as he contemplated all he had done, and probably much more beyond that.
Despite her disappointment she felt a familiar stirring of compassion, and a desire to help and protect her sibling.
Leaning over to hug him she said, "I love you. I hope you know that. Whatever happens I'll do my best to help, you and her if necessary or possible."
"Thank you," he said softly.
Nthanda didn't say anything more, just hugging him tightly and hoping almost desperately that somehow everything would be okay.