into the unknown ❅ buttermilk 800

[paopu]

❅

A series of notes left by the Devriye Nipha, dates undetermined

a note
Devriye will be using majestic plural speech patterns for most of the following content.

[paopu]

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Perhaps it is foolish to think that this journal will remain private. We are not someone who often has such luxuries, but, well, one never knows until they try. And, honestly, when it comes down to it, all we want is someone to tell our story to who doesn't already know it. Everyone here knows us - and we suppose we can't blame them for it either. It's tough to avoid that, being who we are. See, for as long as we can remember, we've been...in a special circumstance. We are whats called a Devriye. What that means exactly depends who you ask but the way we were taught it is an aspect of a higher being. In other words, we are the latest in a long line of Devriye who have been blessed to carry the essence of divinity. What that means exactly varies a lot depending on the Devriye in question. Nipha, the divine who has blessed us, gives the gift to produce snow and ice, but also requires her Devriye to stay on Her Summit. The legend say we cannot leave the cold, as we are made of her ice. We have spent our whole life up here stuck in this castle. We can never leave.




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Which is...fine. We love it here. Well, at the very least, we love our people. This is our home not our prison and they deserve a god who is there for them when needed. We are here for them to be a shining light to guide them. Even still, we can't help but to wonder what else is out there. Or what it feels like to have grass under our feet or the warm hot sun on our skin. What waits out there for us to see? What experiences are we missing out on up here on top of the mountain? What would it mean to be normal? It's a concept out of grasp to us. A foolish dream that we have in our weaker moments. And its...not that we are not grateful for what we have or what we are. Being a Devriye is an honor. But the way that that must define everything of who we are can be a hard pill to swallow sometimes. Yet we do swallow it. Or at least try to. It is our duty, after all and nothing is important than that.

[paopu]

The Devriye. The cycle of perfection. Unending and unbroken since the moment the gods first breathed life into the nothing. For as long as we can remember we have been taught that we are a part of that circle. We are the Devriye. We have no start and we have no end. When our form fades we are eternal and we have been told that's what makes us special. Everyone else is a line - straight and with a defined start and end and possibility a lineage that continues out that line. This is different from us. Normal people end, but a Devriye is forever.





Except, well, no one ever seems to have a clear answer of why that is. We too are made of flesh and blood and bone and, while we understand that our bodies are just a mere vessel, why can we not remember a time existing before it? If we were born from Nipha, why can we not recall what it felt like to breathe the first snow into existence? And what precisely causes our spirit to persist when others would cease anyway? When one draws a circle there is a clear starting point, even if it is consumed by the continuation of the circle. So who's to say that's not how it works? Who gets to claim that we and our people alike are anything but living ouroboros? That we are anything more than snakes eating our own tails and calling it special.






These are blasphemous thoughts. It is a part of our duty as much as anything else to remain true to the cycle. And yet we cannot quite bring ourselves to stop them. We keep drifting, our minds wandering to the last Summit Gathering, where the Devriye Vastus had dared to ask why he had no name. We have begun to wonder it too. Why shouldn't we have a name of our own beyond this title we have been taught is ours? Or a destiny all our own? Does those concepts truly exist only for those thought to be outside the cycle? Why can we not leave the Summit? It is troubling to us and we are afraid of where these thoughts lead.

[paopu]

We have to go and we have to do it now. We will return, but it will be impossible for this absence to not be noticed. We hope they do not worry too much. But we have to know and they will not tell us. It's either that or let our thoughts consume us so. Besides, as dangerous as the journey may be, we have our powers to help us. We will be safe. At least until we reach the foot of the mountain. And then? Well. If they have been truthful to us then worst case we will simple take our next step in the cycle. We will be reborn as a new Devriye. Or we will be perfectly fine and we will have much to think about. Regardless, the idea of a new adventure is rather exciting in it's own right. Hopefully we will be back and writing to you again before the week's end but if not please know this is perhaps our... or, well, my first truly individual desire.

[paopu]

We did not melt. I did not melt? Whichever it may be there are answers now. The journey was not easy, even for a being like us theoretically made of ice and snow. Mountains are treacherous - even well populated ones like the Summit. But even still the physical adventure was not what was important here. What's important is the mental journey. My realization that what we are is perhaps not as true as what we had been led to believe. There is nothing stopping us no no that one's a me. That thought is mine and does not belong to our people. There is nothing stopping me from venturing out into the world save for the people who wish to keep me on the mountain. We do not like this. We - and we do mean we both holy and mundane - do not like the people we have been relying on to help us serve our people trying to control us. Something will be done about this. We will see to it. And I? As much as I would love to return to that open green warm valley that had greeted our nervous self with open arms instead of deep bows we still have the duty to remain here. We can change it in ways our soon to be former council would never dream. The next Devriye of Nipha will have a choice. They will be able to bask in that valley without the fear that had lingered on us still. The world is ours - just not in this particular lifetime.

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This is what both I and we want. Both parts of this body. I...find it helpful to think of it that way. The part that is me is so new and yet the part that remains Us welcomes it's presence. Our co-existence will take time to fully develop. Not that it's true co-existence so much as learning to separate the thoughts this body has in purpose. We by our nature can speak for our people just as any authority but that is not always something I can do. The line is fuzzy - as it perhaps should be - but we think we're slowly figuring it out now that we've learned to try.