villainy commenced [[1x1 w/ the-nug-king & hexspecs!]]

[grey matter]

"...I've been in there multiple times and I haven't died so far!" Lazarus exclaimed. "I think it's started giving me a weird sense of reality though."

"I think that's why it's unsafe?"

"...there are lots of documents about me and things I didn't even realize about myself. I... I confess I really like going there."

[the-nug-king]

"I really don't think you should be reading those."

[grey matter]

"You're probably right but they... they're so... they aren't even poetic, they're just enthralling. Some of them are even dated, and that's the only reason I know when I... emerged? I'm still not sure if I was born," Lazarus said. "Also, one of them said something about... maybe giving me the ability to break this Fourth Wall thing. I don't even know where or what it is... but I think I'd know if I had the ability to break it."

"...your world is weird."

"Yep."

[the-nug-king]

"Yes. Please don't try breaking it. I really don't want to have to try to fix it."

[grey matter]

"Okay, I at least won't do it at the Academy... I can wait until next break to, uh, break it, if I feel like it," Lazarus said.

"Or maybe you just... shouldn't break it?"

"...breaking things is tempting, okay?"

[the-nug-king]

"So. What classes are you taking this year? Something on self-restraint, I hope?"

[grey matter]

"Wait, is that a class or is that a joke?" Lazarus asked. "Because if you're not joking, you're probably right?"

[the-nug-king]

"You're in your second year now, aren't you? In that case I'd recommend Professor Arthenes' Pragmatics of Villainy: When Not To Kick The Dog."

[grey matter]

"...I'll look into that," Lazarus said.

"Well... I don't have much more to mention except for the cooking we did... Lazarus made something so spicy I was in tears, but it was really good..."

"Oh, and Lucas made some sort of... fish... thing. That was good too."

[[so i'm brainstorming ideas for if they had a kid and i'm talking about it with someone and it's going great: their child eventually learns how to reanimate dead animals and they start going full chaotic and sic bears on their bullies and locusts on the town- and WHEN NOT TO KICK THE DOG IS SUCH A GOOD SUBTITLE FOR IT- AJSDKSAJD this feels lovingly trope-y and i love that]]

[the-nug-king]

"That sounds... nice? Are you sure you don't want the potato grower back? You two seem a lot more into cooking than I am."

(Thank you, I love thinking up course titles for the Academy!! And that is a Good Child!! I need to give Three a kid at some point bc they would be a Good Parent and very grumpy-cute about the whole thing, but idk exactly how to get them one bc they're currently very "I have Zero good feelings about parent-child relationships so No, Never.")