TheComfortCorner | V.9

[troye]

all of this back and forth, i just want it to stop. it's exhausting,, even when you're happy you have to sit there wondering
when it's gonna come crashing down again, i cannot,, do it anymore . i can't take it. i try so hard , so hard,, to make my life mean something,
to make friends, to be better, to be happy, and for my whole life it's just been thrown back into my face, i keep getting kicked down
every single time i think things are looking up. i can't take it anymore. i just can't. i want to disappear , to delete all my accounts, to
isolate myself. to fade out. i can't do it anymore. and i'm so so so so tired of people telling me it'll get better when all it ever does
is crash back down on me ten times harder than it did before, it just hurts so much, it's suffocating, and i cannot handle it

[Keir;]

seriously? is my dad really gonna start commenting on how much i eat now? i know. i'm already extremely self-conscious about my weight and how much i eat. i have been for years. i do not need someone else pointing it out. please don't do this. especially not right now. i know i eat too much. i've always known that. please stop commenting on it, you're not helping anything.

[Svetigris]

I can't take this anymore.
Once i thought the quarantine was the best time for me to rest from the fools i have in my class, draw and have fun.
I have already lost interest in drawing, i see no pleasure from games or films anymore...
I can't even enjoy music. I have no friends nor IRL nor online.
Today i had a huge stomach burn. I don't think it will patch up.
I just feel like crying and screaming.

[TwilightBard]

Basically, I'm letting my past get to me emotionally. My scars stop me from being happy. Since they'll never go away, I don't know how to deal with it. I find comfort in video games and things, but it never lasts. I try to be happy with myself, but nothing works, ever. I just wanna be able to see my friends again, I know I can talk to them, but I miss seeing them in person.

[viles]

• poor baby...didn't deserve this

[mean&gay]

i need my parents 2 start using my chosen name so i can actually figure out if it's right 4 me. asking them 2 do it feels harder than coming out 2 them did and idk why. i need 2 do it b4 this quarantine finishes. i need 2. there's no other option. i just don't know how 2 do it and every day i don't do it just makes me feel like i'm running out of time. help.

[moth ♡]

everything hurts.
i'm so stressed over school i can't even focus anymore. i feel so tired every second of the day, i can hardly move. i feel pressured to be happy, to wear a smile. genuine or not. i feel pressured to talk to my friends when sometimes i just want to be alone. not like i could talk to them about it. every time i bring up any mental illnesses they just say i'm trying to be 'quirky'. they all hate me. i feel so alone. i'm nothing special anyway.
my problems don't seem to matter right now, though. there's so much going on in the world, i just think it's better to keep this to myself. to avoid other people worrying about me. it's for the best. right? they don't need to stress over someone so unimportant.
all i'm doing is complaining, i try so hard to find some solution but nothing seems to work out anymore. i distract myself by watching youtube or playing animal crossing or something. but in the end it just all comes back and bites me harder than before. i can't take it anymore. i feel trapped and i feel like there's a heavyweight crushing me down.
she yells at me, telling me i'm lazy and ungrateful. but i'm trying to keep everything inside. it's just not working. what's the point anymore?

[kanri;]

it hurts to think of who I could have been had I just been raised by different parents.
instead I was a child with promise who was smothered by trauma and is now struggling to understand who she even is.

I guess there's no point in thinking of what could have been.
this is how it is. there is no other options. I just...have to live

[troye]

just really not doing ok at all
i'm so sad & i'm so sick of being invisible and mediocre
everything just hurts so much lately

[molotov]

it’s getting harder to convince myself that i actually have some “purpose” in this world, and unfortunately being stuck inside all day with nothing but my own dark thoughts doesn’t help me in the slightest. my worst enemy is myself, my brain, constantly telling me i’m not good enough, i suck at everything, i’m a terrible person, i’m stupid, i’m insignificant, i’m useless, i’m a coward, a crybaby, a liar, i’ll never get friends, i’m deserving of being alone, i’ll die alone, no one will ever remember me, no one really cares about me, no one would even notice if i disappeared, that i shouldn’t exist, that i should hurt myself, that i should suffer, that i should.. die. i cant be alone with my thoughts, not when they’re eating at me this much, not when they’re becoming more and more convincing, not when giving up sounds so tempting. living with nothing but fear, anxiety and self loathing is no way to go about life, i know that, i know that in the end it’s up to me to change my own mindset... but what if i can’t? do they really expect me to continue living like this? suffering, feeling like i’ll never amount to anything because i’m so completely and utterly worthless that i can’t even function like a normal human being? i try and reassure my family that i’ll step it up, that i’ll get better. but that’s never going to happen, im too scared of everything around me, i run away crying at the first sign of danger, i hate myself more than anything else. i’m so undeserving of my family and online friends, i don’t even understand why they like me.. i can’t begin to understand why they like me. how could anyone like me? i’m such a disappointment, i don’t deserve to be loved. i don’t deserve anything. i’ve fought so hard to get this far in life, pushed myself over and over again even when people told me to give up, yet still, i don’t see my success, i don’t think i’ve achieved anything at all. my family tell me I’m a talented artist and talented writer, i don’t see it. why can’t i just be grateful and see all the things i’ve accomplished? i’m so ungrateful, i should be happy. why can’t i just be happy. why is it so hard to be happy? i don’t even know why i’m writing this, i don’t deserve to be heard either. if anything, i just wish i was able to tell someone what’s going on.. but I can’t it’s too embarrassing and my family would yell at me if i broke down crying in front of them again.. i love them but- they’re not good at handling these sorts of things without getting frustrated and confused. i wish I had a friend to talk to, i just want someone to hug me and tell me that everything’s going to be alright, that i matter to them, that i mean so much to them. i want to stop being so paranoid about what others think of me, i want to be more forgiving of myself and my flaws, i want to stop all these negative thoughts and for once, feel like i have achieved something. i want to belong somewhere and feel wanted, needed, loved.