by Mina Ashido » Sun Sep 22, 2019 5:13 pm
I'm just gonna vent here,,,,,
Sometimes I have moments where it's so hard to be happy, like no one would notice cause I've practiced laughing when I can't but it gets too much. I live in a very religious house right now, and nothing I do is ever enough. My nana constantly belittles my mom, while I'm sitting there. I can't fathom how much I want to say something but I'm so weak and small,, I get so anxious sometimes. I have random moments where I'm not talkative at all or I'm way too talkative. I notice how I talk more than others sometimes or how everyone is engaging in conversation and I'm just looking. I find it hard to be positive sometimes, it's like all I see is clouds. My head hurts and I want to lay down, but I'm not allowed to be sad at all.
I sometimes wonder why my mom took care of me so poorly. Thinking back I don't think I was ever good enough to be taken care of by anyone. I feel like a attention seeker or something. I don't know, I'm not good at venting to people but I can type it all so that's something I like to do. Thanks.