by Star_Bun » Sun Jun 30, 2019 3:34 am
I guess this is just a rant more or less but this week has just been appalling. I’ve been trying to do everything I can to better my life and just keep getting pushed back. A couple months ago I had gotten a job despite my anxieties and loved it! It was a new store so I was helping stocking it and getting it ready to open. A week after I start though? My aunt, the sole person who could take me and babysit my son(she knew this beforehand and we discussed the entire situation and she could have declined if it was too much) dropped out on me with an obviously fake excuse and I had to quit. And now recently, as in this week, I had went to renew my permit as it had expired a week ago and decided to do my drivers test. I failed horribly as you can guess but apparently to my dad it’s my fault for not reminding him to let me drive when we go places so I can get practice in. But even then I barely even get out once a week as he works 5 out of 7 days and when he’s off he spends the day from 5am to 7pm fishing. I wouldn’t ever get the chance to practice anyways. But yet it’s my fault that I didn’t try harder and I just need to try harder. My boyfriend always makes me practice but we don’t have a car atm. That’s another problem that ties into this, every time we get a car it breaks down after a month or two and it’s so frustrating that we always get stuck at square one when we just want a good life for our son. And then today I had an appointment to take my ged test, or at least the first one for the first subject, because I really want to get everything together and start going to college to become an exotic animal vet. But this morning I realized I left the car seat in my dads truck and my grandma was the one taking me and she was the one who paid for it. It was almost $40 for just the one test and the other four cost the same so it’s expensive when all added up. I messaged my dad because I was freaking out and again it was my fault for not remembering to take it out... I had reminded him about it the other day and it’s been written on the calendar since I made the appointment. I just wished I had st my alarm to wake up earlier so I would have remembered before my dad had gone to work.... I know it’s my fault for forgetting it but it still feels bad to just be told “your out of luck I don’t care”. And to top it off yesterday I lost my permit(yes the one I JUST got renewed) because my son got to my wallet and took it out and now it’s missing. He’s only 1 so it’s not his fault it’s mine. I just feel so stupid and worthless especially recently. My grandma and boyfriend have been supportive and understanding but my dad hasn’t and it hurts I guess. I’m just tired of always feeling bad I guess...
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███████████████Hi ! I'm star_bun, but call me star < 3
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