I miss you more than anything in this world.
Remember when we first met?
At the market, on that fine evening. What a rush I was in after stealing some food, I didn't even look at what's in front of me! But that lead to us meeting; me, first looking deep into your eyes, those almond orbs held my gaze like a mother holds her child. But like a child taken from his mother's arms, I had to tear my eyes away to run. But you came after me.
When I left you that message on your balcony. Despite it being such a childish riddle, you solved it so fast I didn't even have the time to come up with good pickup line! You clever girl, my sweet detective...
And when I waited for you until your lessons ended at your school? A lot of times it happened, and you always let me walk you home, despite your mother's disapproval.
"A lady cannot ever be seen walking with such an urchin like that!", your mother would always say while your father quietly watched from behind her.
But you just never listened to her.
And the one time, after your parents separated, you found me in an alley, beaten by some gang of thieves, and you took me home to your dad. That night, I learned that he's the kindest soul among the nobles besides you. He decided to take care of me too after that.
Don't tell him, but... He's more of a father to me than my real father ever was...
You didn't yet know, but I was cursed. A curse from a lesser god that struck our family. Because of my brother, I was the one who had to suffer: the promise of living forever doesn't sounds as promising when you find someone who makes your heart beat ten times faster.
When were teenagers, you had to go away for a while.
Even though you were at your mother's, you kept sending me letters in secret. Thanks to your dad, who taught me how to write and read, I was more than happy that I could reply to you as soon as I could!
It was a long one year, but you came back, and I was so delighted to see you again when your ship arrived!
You saw how I started getting interested in poetry after your dad showed me some works of Blake and Wordsworth, of which the latter's lonely cloud grabbed my attention the most.
I knew it by heart.
And you listened like a puppy to a strange noise.
And on my twenty-first birthday, you gave me a poem: you wrote it with with your own hand. Though it wasn't a masterpiece, I loved it. I still do, because you put your heart into it and it shows like a sunflower amongst a field of poppies.
Then, you said those words. Those three words, that one confession that burned my tongue for years, yet I was too scared to say out loud.
At first, I was happy to hear the sentence come from you, I was finally sure that you felt the same way.
But then, I felt... Sad. Even a bit terrified, too.
Up until then, I didn't really think about it, since I though it was just one-sided.
But then I realized that it might just be a double edge sword if the two of us got together.
My dumbest mistake after that was that instead of telling you my reason and about my curse, I tried to push you away so hard... I thought I and my family's foolishness would just end up hurting you, so it would be better if I cut as much ties to you as possible, for your own sake.
But here's the thing I still can't understand: somehow, you saw right through me. You somehow knew that I was hiding something and that that's the reason I tried to keep my distance.
You eventually got to me. I broke down. All those feelings of trying to reject the love of my life every day, the weight of my curse, the short time we'll probably be together, all the things I bottled up finally came out.
You just stood there in silence as I was finally telling you the reason for how I behaved.
I feared for the worst... That you'd leave me, stand up and walk away in silence.
I didn't even notice at first, but in one moment, I was sitting in front of you, choking back sobs; and in the other, you were holding me, gently patting my head as I let all the emotions come out. Like a mother calming her child.
You said you didn't care about the stupid curse. You told me you'll be with me as long as you can.
You said if there was any way to lift the curse, then you'll do anything to help break it.
I can't find proper words to explain how happy and relieved I felt hearing those words...
Some time, maybe a year or two later - and this is what you don't know yet - I was visited by a demon when you were off at work. He offered me a way out, a spell to lift my curse. He said the spell has no costs, no drawbacks or anything; it lifts the curse and that's it.
That damned thing lied.
Of course he did, and of course I fell for it! I was so hopeful that there might just be a solution to this, that this might be my only chance at setting myself free...
Well, he asked for no payment, saying it'll pay off to him soon. How I didn't see the shadiness in his words is beyond me.
Well... I accepted it, and the spell actually worked!
But if I knew that the cost of the spell was something or someone the person who the spell was cast on loved the most would be dragged down to the deepest pits of the Underworld, I would've rather lived with the curse than to see you getting chained and be absorbed by hellish flames...
Have I been more cautious, you'd still be here...
But be strong, my love. I want to fix what I've messed up. If I can still fix it, that is. I just hope I can.
I hope you can forgive me.
Just hang on, you clever girl, my sweet detective; I'm coming to get you out.
Even if I have to burn down a town or two on my way there.
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