by eagle, » Sat Feb 23, 2019 4:19 pm
paragraphthe sun reached its height when the first call came from the nursery and the older kits rushed out to find the medicine cats. finchkit led the charge from the nursery to the medicine cats' den, dovekit hot on her heels, while cricketkit and dandelionkit found gorseberry in the camp's lower clearing, eating with patchwing and berrypad. the pair of kits fell over one another until gorseberry understood them long enough to know what was happening. while his friends took care of the kits, he met alpinemask in the nursery. when asked where gullfeather was, alpinemask simply shook his head and said that it was up to them. gorseberry followed alpinemask's lead, where they found the queen lying on her side, panting while privetfang whispered softly to her friend, coaxing her. poppyhaze ushered the remaining kits out of the nursery to play, leaving only valleykit and ploverkit in their nests with autumnkit watching over them.
paragraphvalleykit, already becoming a curious kit, tried to lean over autumnkit, who was significantly bigger than her despite her blindness. gorseberry watched alpinemask pause and look to valleykit, his paw raised in mid-air, until zinniabelly hissed in pain again, snapping him back into focus. gorseberry, in turn, looked to autumnkit. over the past several moons, he had taken a liking to the young molly. through her disability, she was growing just as quickly as the rest of the kits and he looked forward to seeing the cat she would become in the future. even in her clouded eyes, he sensed a gentle intelligence and, as if she felt his gaze, she turned her face towards gorseberry.
paragraph"gorseberry," alpinemask said suddenly, "go back to the den and get herbs. we're going to need them." gorseberry looked to zinniabelly, who had her eyes closed tightly against the pain. without further hesitation, gorseberry dipped his head and left the nursery. his paws scraped against the stones leading up the path towards the medicine cats' den, though he ignored the twinge. when he crossed the threshold, he heard a secondary cry raise up and recognized the voice as privetfang's. gorseberry felt his stomach drop.
paragraphstarclan had cursed them, zinniabelly was sure of it. out of her two kits, only one had survived, and her son rested at her stomach, though he was not alone. he was joined by privetfang's trio of beautiful kits after the young queen hadn't made it through her kitting. days had passed since her daughter and friend had been declared dead, and zinniabelly was alone in the nursery with poppyhaze. moonlight trickled through the front entrance of the nursery, a sight that had once brought the queen a sense of peace. now, her stomach churned with grief.
paragraphhad starclan cursed them all, zinniabelly wondered, or was it just her? was privetfang cursed, or was she a mere victim, taken too soon? of the two of them, zinniabelly had worried about herself. she was older, had seen more of the word. privetfang was still a kit in her eyes, had only just gotten her way in the world, only to be ripped away from the kits she had loved so much before they were even born. such was the grief and misunderstanding of living when another died before her very eyes.
paragraphzinniabelly wanted to love her son, though she found her eyes straying back to privetfang's kits more often than not. she thought of them as her own, her own son as a stranger. why had he lived instead of his sister? she couldn't understand the intricacies of the world - wasn't sure that she entirely wanted to, either.
paragraphthe brush of paws came from outside of the den, and zinniabelly shifted, her tail falling over the newborn kits, ready to jump to their defense at any cost. she already lost privetfang, she wasn't about to lose her friend's kits either. instead, she recognized pearsblossom's round features and feathery fur through the low light, and her shoulders relaxed. her oldest friend in the clan smiled gently.
paragraph"i thought you might be asleep," pearsblossom murmured softly when she came closer, not wanting to disturb the snores of the nursery full of kits. "can't sleep?"
paragraphzinniabelly shook her head, snorted, "how could i? whenever i do, all i see is her. how she bled out, just wanting to have a family."
paragraph"you'll have to take care of them for her," pearsblossom said. when zinniabelly first met the young molly in ridgeclan, just before it disbanded, she hadn't thought much of her. she was smaller than most warriors, and her thick fur likely made quickclan's territory difficult to deal with. even though zinniabelly spent majority of her time in camp since joining, the winds from the moorland tore at her fur. cats like cyanslash, hawkrise, and brackenrose had shorter fur, and they were able to run faster, less likely to overheat or be blown back. even some of the stronger, more experienced warriors such as blizzardrush and falconflight seemed to have trouble at times, but pearsblossom didn't seem to mind the difficulties. if anything, she seemed to enjoy quickclan more than their previous clan, which surprised zinniabelly.
paragraph"how can i take care of them when i couldn't even save my own kit?" zinniabelly felt helpless, positive that she would only bring harm to her own son, these kits that she hadn't let other cats touch. at first, she had been reluctant to even let the medicine cats too close to privetfang's kits, not about to let another disaster befall these orphaned kits. "their mother is dead, their father is dead. i'm all they have, but how could i be enough?"
paragraph"we'll all be here for them," pearsblossom said. she stepped forward and, out of instinct, zinniabelly wrapped her tail around the newborn kits. it was only when pearsblossom paused that zinniabelly realized her action and forced her fur to lie flat.
paragraph"we'll all be their family. we can't be their parents, but privetfang always just wanted the best for them. right now, they'll die without you. you are the best thing they can possibly have." pearsblossom looked down to her friend's belly, to where the kits were entirely helpless, vulnerable to the world. they would be lucky to have a clan to watch out for them, to have denmates to guide them and be by their sides. at least the kits would have one another.
paragraphbut zinniabelly didn't reply. she merely stared down at the bundles of fur, innocent to the world and entirely dependent on her. but, inside, it was like something was broken. she'd lost her daughter and friend in the same night, and no one had been able to help them. what good was a medicine cat who couldn't save a life? what good was starclan if they didn't have mercy? she let out a deep breath and closed her eyes at last, though pearsblossom didn't leave the nursery that night, and zinniabelly never fell into a restful sleep.
paragraphredstar woke up that morning feeling like there was an itch in his fur that started at the base of his tail. no matter how much he groomed, however, and searched for anything that might be giving him discomfort, he couldn't figure it out, and the sensation grew throughout the morning while he went through his usual routine. he passed the nursery to check in with the queens, though zinniabelly sat mute the entire time, and redstar himself only nodded along with poppyhaze's words, too focused on his own kits. earlier that moon, cleopatra from the empire of the gods dared to meet with him again, this time with two kits she said would be his. that two of their kits should know their father. pinekit and crakekit were small, newborns, and zinniabelly took them in without needing to be asked. for that he was thankful. she didn't ask any questions, and he didn't offer any answers.
paragraphthe feeling persisted the longer the day wore on, though redstar tried his best to let it go. perhaps he was tired or felt that there was a final bout of incoming cold weather from leafbare. by nightfall, redstar's entire body vibrated with anticipation, with the feeling that another bad thing was going to befall his clan. he sat alone in the camp when the rest of the clan went to their nests for the night, to watch the sky of stars overhead. poppyhaze reported to redstar that zinniabelly was muttering about curses, about starclan hating them in her sleep, though he found the notion so improbable when he thought of all of his friends that had passed on and were now a part of starclan. surely ivystripe, at the very least, would have warned him if quickclan truly was cursed.
paragrapha chill raced down his spine, and he turned to see hazestar standing before him, and redstar felt a purr rumble up his throat. he hadn't had a chance to visit his best friend since the gathering, and he made to move closer until hazestar shushed him and began to speak. suddenly, all of his tension throughout the day made sense, as if he had already known of his friend's fate. "hazestar, i -" he managed to choke out, "i love you too," he said, but it was too late. just as he appeared, hazestar's spirit was gone from sight, and redstar barely managed to withhold a cry, not wanting to alert the clan. his body felt drained of its strength and he collapsed to the ground, his nose against the well-packed soil. "don't leave, hazestar, please don't leave." the stars continued to wink down at redstar, though he was only able to close his eyes tightly and wish that he would wake up from this horrible dream. that hazestar wasn't truly dead, that hazestar would come from the shadows to tell him that it wasn't true.
paragraphby the time the word spread from the borders that hazestar was truly dead, along with his deputy, redstar had rarely left his den.
paragraphcyanslash!" snakespots' voice rang across the clearing to where the lithe deputy was sitting with falconflight and their kits. despite any previous reservations cyanslash might have had about their kits, it seemed that he treated them as if they were his own, and they seemed to adore their fathers and adopted sister just the same. finchkit fussed while falconflight tried to groom behind her ears, and cyanslash batted a moss ball back and forth with dovekit and dandelionkit, cricketkit sitting close to cyanslash and watching his sisters. at the call of his name, however, cyanslash looked up and smiled at snakespots, and the long-legged warrior padded over to him. in that moment, dandelionkit took advantage of cyanslash's divided attention and darted forward to snatch the ball from his grip.
paragraphcyanslash glanced back to his kits, his gaze warm and fond. "snakespots," he greeted in turn with a warm purr, "is everything alright?" when snakespots hesitated for a moment, cyanslash's expression shifted minutely and he nodded once. "should we go for a walk, then?" he offered, to which snakespots agreed. cyanslash dipped his head down to whisper into falconflight's ear, and his mate smiled up at him in turn. with that, the pair headed up the path towards the moor.
paragraphthe wind ripped at their fur from the moment they left the camp, and snakespots felt more at ease the further they walked. finally, when they reached a ridge to allow for some reprieve from the wind, snakespots stopped and looked to the deputy, his friend. "i found a mate," he blurted out, and cyanslash's expression shifted to joy. he leaned forward and pressed his nose against snakespots'.
paragraph"you need to tell me everything! who is it?" he asked, and snakespots felt cyanslash's energy as contagious, urging him to speak:
paragraph"her name is oceansplash, she's from hazeclan and... she had our kits recently," he said, and cyanslash's eyes widened even further. "cyanslash - i love her a lot. i love my kits a lot, they're all so perfect." his chest felt warm from just talking about oceansplash. from there, with cyanslash's enthusiastic prompting, he began to tell about how they met, and how quickly he realized that he was in love with her. he fell harder than he thought possible for any cat. after he had finished telling cyanslash everything, he ducked his head slightly and sighed heavily, "and everything is great with her, i'm just - i'm a little worried about hazeclan since hazestar died."
paragraphcyanslash's whiskers twitched, giving away his curiosity. "redstar would never want to break ties with hazeclan. him and hazestar were best friends, he'll keep honoring our alliance in hazestar's memory, if for no other reason." he spoke in a clear tone, free of his own clear personal ties with hazeclan. his own kits were, technically, half-clan, and it wasn't a secret on any level. cyanslash was one of the first and strongest proponents for an alliance with hazeclan, and there was no reason for him to go back on that. it was one of the reasons snakespots felt able to talk to him about oceansplash as well as his own reservations.
paragraph"it's not redstar i'm concerned about. what if this new hazeclan leader doesn't want to keep the alliance?" snakespots asked. he'd spent the nights worrying about his family across the border and what was going to happen to them. he just wanted to know that they would be safe, even if he couldn't be there for them.
paragraphcyanslash moved forward and pressed himself comfortingly into snakespots' side. "oceansplash - she sounds strong. i'm sure she'll be able to handle herself if worst comes to worst, but i wouldn't worry. hazestar left his clan in capable paws, i'm sure. so far, it doesn't seem like anything's changed. there's no need to worry yourself sick. just be happy for your family, because it's the best feeling in the world." and snakespots couldn't find it in himself to argue with that.
paragraphthough redstar hadn't told cardinalpaw directly that the new kits were his, he felt an immediate kinship with pinekit and crakekit when they first came to the clan. his suspicions were later confirmed when poppyhaze told him that the pair were being spoiled with attention from the leader, and it seemed that he left his den to only visit the kits with a particular attachment to pinekit, crakekit, and ploverkit. when she told him that, cardinalkit fought back a harsh laugh and instead hummed, not wanting to give anything away. since his father asked him to look after ploverkit, cardinalkit visited the nursery whenever he could without trying to draw attention to himself. if anyone noticed just how much he visited the nursery, they didn't comment on it. if anything, they probably thought it was sweet.
paragraphone afternoon, cardinalpaw was sitting with ploverkit under the guise of watching poppyhaze's kits, though they were all sleeping soundly after a long morning of play, when gorseberry came in. the young medicine cat appeared surprised to see cardinalpaw there with ploverkit, evidenced by the slight widening of his eyes. "no training today?" he asked cardinalpaw, though he was cut off when autumnkit sat up from her nest, his blind eyes cloudy and unfocused.
paragraph"gorseberry!" she said, waving her tail. without any aid, she crossed the nursery confidently to touch her nose to his in greeting. "you're late," autumnkit said, leading him back into the nursery.
paragraph"i know, i'm sorry," gorseberry said, "alpinemask had me out gathering herbs all morning." autumnkit commented that he should know better, that gorseberry should have been with her, and cardinalpaw watched the pair with a smile. he had never seen autumnkit so animated, nor had he seen another cat visit her. gorseberry and autumnkit continued to talk while he looked over the newborn kits, including pinekit and crakekit, and he sat back when he had finished.
paragraphit was only from a flash of impulse that cardinalpaw spoke up during a lull in their conversation, "gorseberry - can i ask you something?" the medicine cat's ears perked and he nodded, inviting cardinalpaw to continue. even autumnkit turned her cloudy eyes toward him. "do all cats go to starclan? what's it like for them?" he asked, "would it be possible for a cat to choose to watch over living cats?"
paragraphof all the questions cardinalpaw might have asked, it seemed that those were the least-expected to gorseberry, who took his time to run a paw over his ears to bide his time. "not all cats," he said at last, "it depends on the clan and the cat. for us, a good cat will go to starclan and a bad cat will go to the dark forest. other clans believe that their good warriors go to the dark forest, and some have other ancestors altogether," he explained, and cardinalpaw nodded slowly, trying to soak in all of the information as it came. "i've only spoken to starclan cats, i've never wandered starclan's hunting grounds so i can't say exactly what happens there, or what happens elsewhere, but i don't see why i cat wouldn't be able to look over others. gullfeather said that ivystripe watched over her for a while, teaching her about herbs."
paragraph"do you think privetfang is with us now, to watch over her kits?" autumnkit asked after a brief lull of silence.
paragraphgorseberry ducked his head, though cardinalpaw caught the look of pain that passed over his face. gorseberry had been the one to take privetfang and flutterkit from the nursery into the camp for the vigils, and he had been the one to bury privetfang. when patchwing tried to help him, gorseberry told her that he needed to do it on his own while zinniabelly buried flutterkit. he told her that he couldn't save her, so it was his job to see her into starclan safely. "i think so," cardinalpaw said, to save gorseberry the moment. the medicine cat shot him a grateful glance, and cardinalpaw stood. "thanks gorseberry, that made sense. thank you." he looked down to his half-siblings before he turned to leave the nursery. "i was just curious."
paragraphno one expected graveclan to disband, least of all chanterellestep. he always thought that his clan had been secure, insurmountable, unshaken. until it wasn't. he wasn't even entirely sure of what happened, how he ended up leading his small group out of graveclan territory. one minute he was going about his usual routine, the next he was leading four apprentices across the moorland. the last warrior he'd seen was cormorantface, who told him that grasspaw and hollowpaw should return to their original clan, that they'd been taken from a foreign clan moons and moons earlier, and that it was time for them to be reunited with their mothers. thus became their journey to find the wind-torn moorland and the clan of cats that lived there.
paragraph"my paws are aching." that was rosepaw, who had spent majority of their days together complaining about this, about that, about everything. he was hungry, he was tired, he wanted to go back, as if they all didn't. it took most of chanterellestep's energy not to cuff the younger tom over the ear and tell him to be quiet.
paragraph"we need to keep going," rowanpaw cut in, saving the lone warrior the need. "if we stopped every time you asked us to, we'd still be in graveclan's camp."
paragraph"graveclan doesn't have a camp anymore," hollowpaw added, and rosepaw whined lowly. at that, chanterellestep sent the youngest of the group a sharp look, though hollowpaw merely shrugged. "what? it's true." when chanterellestep asked grasspaw and hollowpaw where their birthclan was, they had each shrugged and said that they didn't know. which, he supposed, made a lot of sense. they had been mere kits at the time, hollowpaw little more than a newborn. what would he know about a clan he barely had time to explore. grasspaw claimed to have fleeting memories, such as her mother's dark fur, or her brothers playing in the camp, though she also said that it might have been a dream, might have never happened, might have just been graveclan she was remembering. as the days progressed, chanterellestep questioned if there even was a quickclan.
paragraphchanterellestep paused and looked over his shoulder to where grasspaw was lagging behind the toms. rosepaw was walking with his head ducked down, rowanpaw was even beginning to drag his own paws, and only hollowpaw seemed to be keeping up well, though his tail drooped. if they didn't take a break soon, chanterellestep feared that one of them might give out from exhaustion. indeed, they had been traveling for days with minimal rest and food. even though it was newleaf, the former-graveclan cats weren't accustomed to chasing down rabbits that littered the sparse fields. "alright, let's take a short rest," he decided, letting out a muffled laugh when rosepaw immediately flopped down onto the ground.
paragraph"finally," rosepaw breathed out.
paragraph"can we try to hunt?" grasspaw asked when she caught up. rowanpaw crept closer to rosepaw and prodded his friend in the belly, earning an indignant squeak. hollowpaw perked up slightly, and chanterellestep glanced between the group.
paragraph"the three of us will hunt," he said to grasspaw and hollowpaw. rosepaw swiped a paw at rowanpaw, who dodged the blow deftly. chanterellestep cleared his throat to catch their attention, and rowanpaw paused mid-assault.
paragraph"do you want us to stay here?" he asked, and chanterellestep nodded once and turned away, beckoning hollowpaw and grasspaw.
paragraph"rosepaw said he was tired, and you should watch him." with that, he led the way further along the moorland, his ears pricked and nose raised to pick up any scent of prey or, better, a possible quickclan cat.
paragraphit was some time before any of the trio spotted a rabbit, but grasspaw and hollowpaw were surprisingly quick on their paws when they did. grasspaw led the charge, hollowpaw hot on her heels when they spotted a rabbit in the distance, and chanterellestep struggled to keep them in sight. the ground dipped and gave way, hiding the apprentices and the rabbit from sight, and chanterellestep had no time to brace himself when he crested the incline and nearly collided with grasspaw's back.
paragrapha long-legged black tom and a pretty silver molly stood across from the pair of apprentices, and their gazes turned to chanterellestep upon his approach. the tom tipped his chin at chanterellestep. "who are you?" he asked, "are there more of you?" in the moment, however, chanterellestep found himself unable to bring forth words, too surprised that there were cats on the moor, that they had gone entirely undetected. he saw the rabbit behind the pair, dead, and it crossed his mind that it must take an exceptionally quick cat to have caught it.
paragraphwhen chanterellestep failed to speak up, grasspaw stepped forward, looking between the warriors. "his name is chanterellestep, i'm grasspaw, and this is hollowpaw," the young molly said, gesturing to the pair of toms in turn. hollowpaw dipped his head at his name, and chanterellestep caught a flash of surprise in the silver tabby's eye at their names. however, grasspaw continued before she could be stopped, "we're traveling with two other apprentices. they're resting on a ridge nearby." as if on a cue, a distant call rose up from back the way they had come, where rosepaw and rowanpaw were still waiting. the warriors exchanged a glance, and the black tom flashed a smile.
paragraph"i think our friends might have found yours," he said, his tail tip flicking from side to side, clearly amused by the situation. "shall we go find them?"
paragraphchanterellestep led the way, flanked by the tom, who introduced himself as nightfall of quickclan. the silver molly, sweetecho, walked between grasspaw and hollowpaw. chanterellestep couldn't withhold his laugh when he learned that they managed to find the quickclan cats, "you know, we've been looking for you," he admitted.
paragraph"for us?" nightfall echoed. "well, congratulations. don't take this the wrong way, but you lot look like you've been traveling a while."
paragraph"why were you trying to find us?" sweetecho asked. grasspaw walked a step behind her, laden down with the rabbit. hollowpaw spoke up before chanterellestep could gather his thoughts, unsure of how exactly to relay what cormorantface told him.
paragraph"grasspaw and i were told that we were taken from your clan when we were kits. graveclan disbanded, so chanterellestep was trying to bring us home." normally, hollowpaw was quiet, a steady and observing presence, though chanterellestep was thankful that he was able to find words now. "rosepaw and rowanpaw didn't have anywhere else to go, so they asked to come too."
paragraphsilence reigned until nightfall cleared his throat, though he seemed to address only sweetecho. "we'll have to talk to piperskip."
paragraphsweetecho hummed her agreement, and chanterellestep broke in, "who's piperskip?"
paragraph"she lost one of her kits a few moons ago. she was taken from the nursery. her name was grasskit. she would be an apprentice now, nearly ready to be a warrior," she said, then turning her gaze to hollowpaw, "a medicine cat died giving birth to kits. one of them was taken too, a tom called hollowkit. he would also be an apprentice." at that moment, a voice called out to the group, and rosepaw charged forward to nearly collide with chanterellestep's flank.
paragraph"we thought something might have happened when the warriors came," he said, sounding relieved. rowanpaw sat back, a long-furred ginger tom beside him with a lithe black apprentice and another, larger tom apprentice. the latter looked up when the cats approached, sharing a glance with the other warrior.
paragraph"these apprentices said there were others out there hunting," the warrior said with a shrug, "looks like they weren't lying."
paragraphsweetecho, however, looked back the warrior to the dark apprentice who was nearly as big as his mentor. "oriolepaw," she addressed him, "run back to camp and tell your mother to meet me with redstar." without a word, oriolepaw followed the order, turning and racing away. when the other warrior shot her a confused glance, sweetecho beckoned the group with a flick of her tail. "i'll explain on the way, this lot looks half-starved and redstar will want to speak to them. he hasn't been very patient lately."
paragraphword spread quickly across camp of the graveclan cats and the kits-now-apprentices that had seemingly returned from the dead. redstar had come from his den for the first time in several days to welcome the group into quickclan once piperskip saw grasspaw and said that, without a doubt, that was her kit. while piperskip asserted her opinion, none of her kits seemed to be entirely certain, and oriolepaw and dustpaw stuck together, the latter still under watch from gullfeather every other day, while grasspaw remained with her friends from graveclan. when it came to hollowpaw, however, marshpaw and darterpaw were slightly more willing to at least talk to their supposed brother, though none of the trio claimed to remember the days when hollowpaw might have still been with them.
paragraphas the days passed, however, the clan moved on to other gossip about who would be the next queen in the nursery, or whether the apprentices would earn their warrior names with upcoming assessments. of the older apprentices, only flintpaw would be in training for another moon at the least, while even his own brother would be trying to advance to become a warrior. naturally, the usually-loud flintpaw allowed a rain cloud to hang over his head, according to nightfall.
paragraphthe only topics that stayed with the quickclan cats for the duration of the moon, however, was wondering about redstar's mental state following the news of hazestar's death, and the nursery that was full of kits but lacking queens to take care of them. for the most part, redstar stayed in his den with either sweetecho or splashfall to keep him company while cyanslash oversaw training and patrols, taking the extra time to check in with the warriors and medicine cats for the daily upkeep of the clan. so, no cat was entirely sure what would be coming when redstar was seen going into the nursery with rookwatcher, only to emerge several moments later with rookwatcher, zinniabelly, and two of the newborn kits. it was early in the evening, just after the final hunting patrol arrived back in camp, and majority of the clan was resting in the main camp, sharing meals when redstar called out for their attention.
paragraph"quickclan!" he called, though all eyes were already on him. "as many of you know, we were blessed to welcome many kits into our nursery these past few moons. several of them will be given mentors and will begin their training soon," he paused, and eyes turned to cyanslash and falconflight, as their kits would be apprenticed any day. "and our apprentice's den is full of young cats learning how to provide and protect our clan as warriors. however, we have also suffered a loss that makes the upkeep of the nursery difficult, and the apprentice's den cannot hold as many cats as i would wish." a confused murmur swept across the clan, but redstar silenced them quickly. "i have spoken to zinniabelly, and we have decided to send rookwatcher and two of our kits to hazeclan to be fostered there. as you all know, our alliance with hazeclan is strong, and these kits will be taken care of."
paragraph"which kits are you sending?" rose a voice from the crowd, identified as duskflower.
paragraph"cloudykit and zipperkit." immediately, the clan erupted. while it was clear that the clan wouldn't like the idea of any kit being sent away, even to a close ally clan that many of the warriors had strong ties with, redstar knew that they would take issue with allowing zipperkit to leave. while zinniabelly was able to speak for her son, privetfang was no longer alive to protect her own. this time the clan was not as easily hushed. of the clan, it seemed that only the former-graveclan cats were silent, and redstar noticed the way the apprentices bunched together, around chanterellestep, as if he could protect them, as if he was a warrior with more experience and expertise than he actually was.
paragraph"i do this with our clan in mind!" redstar shouted above the uproar. his tail lashed, and he found his sadness from the moon dissipating in that moment, and he imagined hazestar standing in the middle of the crowd, watching him. would he find this idea good, or would he think it dumb? "rookwatcher will watch over the kits. they will still be quickclan kits, but this will help cement our alliance with the new hazeclan leader, our symbol of trust. they will come back to us." hazestar, he was sure, would have seen to it if he was still leader. there was no reason for redstar to not think the same of buzzardstar. redstar understood the stakes - that the kits might like it in hazeclan, might not want to come back in a few moons. rookwatcher might want to stay. but it was a risk he needed to take, for the relations between clans, to keep his own kits with him. redstar felt his throat tighten, and he ducked his head. when he looked back across the warriors, his voice cracked from a torrent of emotions washing back over him, grief hitting him harder than ever, anger that his clan wasn't listening, didn't trust his decisions. "privetfang will never be forgotten in quickclan, and she would have made a great mother. but she cannot be here for her kits, and we need a cat who can watch zipperkit. it has been decided." with that, he turned and retreated into his den. vaguely, he was aware of gullfeather's black and white pelt cutting through the crowd to follow him, but he hissed at her over his shoulder, "i need to be alone now," and she didn't enter his den.
paragraphoutside, murmurs continued to reach his ears, but redstar only wanted to hear one voice. "hazestar," he said for the first time since he saw his spirit, "i miss you. i'm trying my best."
paragraphsince she lost her kits, gullfeather rarely liked to be alone. without company, her thoughts become too invasive, the images too harsh to bare, and she could only recall the pain of birth, the sharper pain of realizing all of her kits were dead. however, when she woke to see the sun shining, breaking through the clouds as if to greet her, she thought it would be a good day to go out to gather herbs on the moor. alpinemask mentioned that they were low on kitting herbs, so she decided to head towards the abandoned barn, where they might have begun to grow in the warming days. gorseberry offered to join her, though she told him to stay back. after privetfang, she noticed that he was rather melancholy. she told him to find oakseed and patchwing, to go find whatever tom it was that was making him smile more lately. he'd been surprised, as if he thought she hadn't noticed. but she wasn't blind - she saw the way he came back to the den lately without an herb to show for his mysterious adventures, looking dazed and dopey. he was a bad liar.
paragraphindeed, the day was exceptionally warm, and gullfeather was able to forget the past moons of harsh leafbare. her outlook felt better than it had in moons, even before she knew she was expecting kits. the barn loomed in sight, and the fields around the barn were a lush green, wildflowers aplenty, which raised her hopes even further. she thought about how she would need to rearrange their herbs to make room for the large bundle she was prepared to bring back. it would take some work, but she felt ready for it.
paragraphat that very moment, she found a bright green chervil plant, and she settled herself down to pick the leaves with a careful delicacy. at the same moment she looked down to assess her sizable pile, fleetingly wondering if she should have brought gorseberry after all - it would have been nice to have help - a shadow loomed over her from behind. she turned, only to feel a clean line of pain slice across her throat. warmth soaked into her fur, and she felt her head swim, the impact of the ground rising up to meet her when she fell sideways. her breath was ragged, faraway, as if underwater, though her eyes focused on the trio of cats that stood over her. one licked his paw, which was stained a dark crimson, though the rest of his pelt was a brilliant ginger, sleek and immaculate. a molly to his right spoke up, "you were right, nolan, i think she is a clan cat," and it became harder for gullfeather to keep her eyes open. she considered trying to get up, to make sure she wasn't crushing the chervil, but she couldn't feel her paws. the ginger cat, nolan, must have said something, though she could only see his mouth move until her vision went black, or her eyes shut.
paragraphthen there was the whisper of small paws in the grass, and a high-pitched voice. "mama?" the voice said, echoed by two others.
paragraphgullfeather opened her eyes and, instead of three grown cats, she was greeted by three small kits. "petalkit," she said, to the only kit who managed a breath in the world, "flashkit, batkit." and she knew her time had come.
Last edited by
eagle, on Sat Mar 09, 2019 4:00 am, edited 1 time in total.