Things had been rather boring around her recently. It was exciting to go and take the lives of apprentices before they even knew what hit them. The clan deserved every bit of misery they were getting. Fanwstar should have handed over Ivybriar when she had the chance, but she didn't like the fool she was. I had felt like the clan was doomed under her leadership so I left, it also helped that a pretty little rogue had caught my eye. I missed her, without her my heart didn't feel whole. I hardly felt anything when watching Mousefoot die other than satisfaction, and leaving Liongaze behind was all too easy, but the loss of my mate hit me hard. For once I was happy when she was around, now I just felt empty and angry, like I wanted to sink my claws into everything that moved, but I also just wanted to curl up and sleep the entire day away. Life had never felt fair to me, and it still didn't, but I felt like here I had a chance to make my life better unlike in the clan, in the clan I never felt like I was headed anywhere fast. Leaving them behind was the best decision I had ever made and I wouldn't be convinced otherwise.
I just wished that we could carry out another attack soon, I was itching for some action, for a distraction from my own thoughts. Maybe if I could get some revenge I would feel better, it would be a start at the very least. A small venomous smile spread across my face, making my heinous intentions clear to anybody who happened to look my way. I didn't care what others thought of me at this point, besides my animosity was not aimed at my fellow rogues, it was aimed at the clan, at Liongaze especially. The other rogues had nothing to fear from me, but I would gladly attack any clan cat that came within my reach, once I had them in my grasp I wouldn't let them go until they stopped breathing. My tail curled in delight at the thought, the clan was already having issues with all their apprentices being dead, and some cats having that same thoughts as me towards Fawnstar and her choice. Would more cats turn their backs on her? Would more cats join us? Would the clan fall? I wanted it to, I wanted to watch as their world came crashing down. It was wrong, it was so wrong for me to think like that, but knowing that just made me want it more. It would be exactly what they deserved.
My gaze drifted over to Darkfrost, wondering what he might be planning next for the clan. He got to decide what we did next, but I wondered if I could influence him with little dangerous whispers. Would he listen to my ideas? I could always try, but for now I stayed away as Hemlock approached the leader. I wasn't a huge fan of conversing with more than one other at a time, as someone who didn't think I needed friends I often tended to keep to myself. Though I didn't hold any negative feelings towards the others I just didn't think it would be worthwhile to become close with most of them. I would accept a few of them into my life as long as they didn't get in my way, but it wasn't my top concern. I huffed out a breath and flopped onto my side letting my tongue run over my paw getting it a little wet and then scrubbing at my face with the side of my paw to clean it. My dark tabby fur was sleek and healthy, despite not wanting to care about my appearance and health I knew that I needed to. I needed to be strong, and I needed to appear well put together to show that I wasn't a liability. I would not show weakness, not now, not ever.


fawnstar wrote:female | 52 moons | leader | no mate [heterosexual] | location: camp | tags: russetwind, kestrelpool, coppertooth
lilypool wrote:male | 26 moons | warrior | heart set on dawnblaze | location: camp | tags: liongaze
ivybriar wrote:female | 26 moons | queen | future romance w/ liongaze | location: camp | tags: dawnblaze
moonshade wrote:female | 36 moons | warrior | possible romance w/ smokefang | location: camp | tags: smokefang
aspenflame wrote:male | 42 moons | warrior | crush/mate open [bisexual] | location: camp | tags: morningheart
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