TheComfortCorner | V.8

[GAIRENTH]

Why am I always so boring?
Even my boyfriend is starting to think I'm boring.

There's nothing to do around here.
Anything I see as fun, well, it's just fun for me. Like video games and drawing.

Other things can be fun, but they're just not around here. Or we've done them all. Or they're far away and gas would just eat up our weekend budget.

There's nothing to do.
He's bored, and that makes him a bit irritated.
And I'm mad at myself. Because I'm so boring.
I just want to be able to do something fun that isn't just going to a store or going to the movies to see other film that isn't even decent or interests us.
Why am I so boring?
He always seems to find things to do, and I'll spend hours and hours searching with no luck.
I don't want to be boring. I don't want tbe upset about being boring. But I am. I'm not fun, I'm not interesting. I'm too worried and scared about new things, but I still would like to try them, they just aren't around here, or there's nothing going on at the time.
I just don't want him to get bored of me.
I wish I could be fun and interesting and have ideas on the spot, but I don't, and I can't, and I'm not.

Just please don't be bored of me and leave.
Please don't leave me.

[tea rose]

it's not going to dull down anytime soon so I may as well make the most of it

[Mooshidog]

it's almost the anniversary.

i'm not ready.

i hope i can deal with it.

thank goodness it's not a school day.

or else i wouldn't go.

[chikin]

xxxxxxxI'm tired of feeling such a lack of emotions towards other people (empathy, guilt, shame, love). I'm tired of feeling like a robot going through the routine. I don't know what's wrong with me. My theory is sociopathy or just general sociopathic tendencies, or possibly even depression-induced numbness (though that's far less likely). I don't feel much of anything for anyone, and I hate it. I do terrible things with no remorse that I know I should be feeling. Worst of all, I don't know what exactly is wrong, so it's not like I can treat it.

xxxxxxxCan you even treat what I have with medicine? I don't feel like it's like anxiety where you can calm the nerves, or depression where you can dull the sadness. Can you create emotions where there are none? I hope so. I'm tired of feeling like this, and it's a sad existence. There's no searching for happiness for me when it's unattainable.

Firstly, you should see a therapist about your feelings and thoughts. They can help you figure out what is wrong and they'll do their best to help you. Just noting I am not a psychologist and neither is the internet.
I highly doubt you are a sociopath -- lacking empathy and feeling emotionally numb does not mean you are one. Sociopathy is a serious and complicated illness.
What you are feeling sounds like it is induced by depression and yes it can be treated. Disorders under ASPD aren't the only disorders who have symptoms such as the ones you are experiencing.

[GAIRENTH]

I know you want your space, and part of me is getting mad at myself for even considering bothering you, But I just wish I could go and be next to you.
You want your space though, and I will give it to you.
I just feel so lonely without you.

[Arkeine]

"Im no longer aloud to come to the club on Thursdays. Sorry guys, your kitsune/mascot probally won't return
I deeply apologize for joining something I am no longer able to see through. I highly regret losing this abillity: But it is my falut
I have greatly angered the person who has the ability to control me. I got too careless with my happiness, and my grades suffered due to me avoiding stress. It was stupid of me to be so lazy when my peers were stressing out, I was just tired of the constant pressure. The moment I saw my chance I slipped free. Now I will probably never be able to experience it again."

I need to talk to someone before I break down. Please. I know its normal. all parents are like this

But I can't do this anymore

[Valac]

Today was a doozy, and not a good kind of doozy.

[polysaccharide]

don't panic don't panic don't panic don't panic don't panic don't panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic

[caesou]

again it seems, my sensitivity has made an appearance
and i did not expect this fear to come back to me, two years later: that i'll be judged.

i trusted and loved my friends and i learned to trust myself so i wouldn't go paranoid thinking "what if they secretly hate me" or "what if they tell me i'm too this and too that" and the like
but these new people, these fears have popped up again and it feels defeating. why does it feel so targeting when we're having an argument? and not necessarily a shouty, violent argument - some disagreements thrown, our reasonings and all.

maybe it's just cause disagreements are really new to me. any time i saw them, i would fear for the worst, that it would spiral down to a blown out fight of two sides.

i'm just super lost. the smallest things affect me on the largest scale and i thought i gained the confidence to move on.
i... hope this will be okay. that's all i can really do.

[cornspurrd.]

it's such a beautiful world. And I don't feel like I belong in it.