dear a,
stop being so selfish. if it weren’t you, i would have left a long time ago, and i know that it’s mutual. your ego really riles up my own, and believe me, that’s not a good thing.
you know that i know this, even though you won’t admit to it. you think that all the focus should be on you. you overestimate how much i trust you because in your mind, you should be my go-to when something happens. you won’t accept that things change, and honestly, it’s really ticking me off. i shouldn’t have to justify myself to you. i shouldn’t have to feel bad for telling j instead of you when that event came up. you have no right to know everything that happens in my life, and you have no right to my heart even though i’ve given you various pieces of it in the past. you’ve changed, whether you believe it or not. i’ve changed. j has changed. m has changed. it seems like you’ll acknowledge all of the former except for your own change.
you said to me recently that you’re the only one who can change yourself, and that’s why you haven’t changed, but you’re blind to yourself. you’ve just changed more than you want to acknowledge. don’t put that blame on me.
best regards,
-h
dear me,
i know you want to leave everything and everyone behind. i know you just want to grab mom and dad and just flee. maybe some day you’ll be able to, but until then take care of yourself and your bonds with other people. don’t leave any loose ends, because if you do, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.
stop trying to change your personality. simply make the right choices when it matters, and everything will end up fine. don’t be the reason you lose what it means to be yourself. improve, don’t change. confront, don’t run away. everything will be alright.
stop concerning yourself with so many unnecessary things.
make yourself a cappuccino. make yourself a blanket burrito. watch antman again. love yourself.
lots of love,
-h
dear dad,
it’s not a game, so stop treating it like one. sometimes your behaviour stresses me out so much that i’m in tears. you know that i’m not okay in the first place, so stop making things worse. don’t act like you’re oblivious to it. this has been going on for too long.
-h