TheComfortCorner | V.8

[farewell]

(Not looking for advice or responses - just want to rant)

I've exhausted all of my resources. It's all just a matter of time now. I don't want to wait but I have to. Once I finish college in December of 2020, I know everything will come together. I'll be making a substantial amount of money and I can get my own place.

[dogbrain]

i am sorry if this is against the rules. there is truly NO ONE i can talk to about this.

nothing anyone can do, and not something i enjoy talking about.
my dad is an alcoholic. he relapses a lot. buys NA (non-alcoholic, but like low percentage alcohol) beer, buys pounders (? i don't really know what they means, but they're huge cans). we try to limit his intake, of course. mom said only three cans. he used to get a case of pounders, drink them all in one night. ranging from 6 cans to 24 cans. raging alcoholic. ever since i can remember. sure, he was sober for 2 and a half years, but relapsed when he lost his job(s) over a course of a year. sometimes we lived high on the hog, other times dirt-poor. my dad has no job right now, and is spending all the money on things he wants...we seemingly get food every month, but usually cereal and the basics (bread, milk, lunch meat, frozen dinners). if he keeps it up, we will barely have enough money to scrape by with. food pantry gives us good food! but, it is embarrassing at times. i can always go to my boyfriends, they have food and such. but, that makes me feel like a burden...i am soon going on vacation...19-21 with my boyfriend and his family. yes, i am very excited, but also loathing the fun I'll have only to return home to negative energy that really tears my insides apart.
parents argue. they don't abuse each other nor me, but verbal abuse...swearing, yelling on the top of his lungs. my dad is a naturally loud person, so you can imagine when he is under the influence and not getting his way. justifying his way to get beer. he is most like a child, whines and whines till he gets his way... why is my mother still with him, you ask? me. i used to always say I never wanted them to split, because I do love my dad! I do...nothing will change that, but just...it's what he becomes, that I don't like. he truly becomes a monster...it only took me 13 years to figure that out. i don't like realizing the truth. i want to go back to when I was 4, when I didn't understand or even remember...i can't wait to move out. i haven't got my license yet, and i honestly suck at driving. i'm scared. i want to get a job. make money. become an author. i want to go to college, but my parents argue about money so much...i mention paying for college, they say, "Well fill it out!" ...I don't know how and neither do they...they never went to college. i can't go on college tours because our vehicle can only do so much... ehh. this is getting too long.

tdlr; if my elementary school knew about this, CPS would have been involved...and i would have been taken away from a family that DOES LOVE me. so, that's why I can now talk about this as an adult, openly. again, no one needs to respond and this may even be against the rules, but i needed to type it out.

[v1s10ns]

.

[hiero]

I don't feel like a very good girlfriend. My boyfriend said today that he's polyamorous and wouldn't mind being in a poly relationship, my first thought was that he desired a poly relationship. I am not polyamorous.

So, as you can guess, I kind of got a little bit stressed out. I informed him that I wouldn't be comfortable with a poly relationship and he said that it was OK and that he didn't mind having a regular relationship. But I started to worry that he may end up feeling too limited in our relationship and it totally wrecked my mood. Nothing awful happened, but I did end up causing us both lots of unnecessary stress from all of my worrying. I feel absolutely horrible for it.

[Sciencin']

about to turn in the worst english essay of my life
it was supposed to be 3.5 pages minimum. I barely made it past 2

[SpoonfulOfSuga]

I don't feel like a very good girlfriend. My boyfriend said today that he's polyamorous and wouldn't mind being in a poly relationship, my first thought was that he desired a poly relationship. I am not polyamorous.

So, as you can guess, I kind of got a little bit stressed out. I informed him that I wouldn't be comfortable with a poly relationship and he said that it was OK and that he didn't mind having a regular relationship. But I started to worry that he may end up feeling too limited in our relationship and it totally wrecked my mood. Nothing awful happened, but I did end up causing us both lots of unnecessary stress from all of my worrying. I feel absolutely horrible for it.

Reassure him that you are supportive but you would feel uncomfortable if he wanted to have that kind of relationship, including you. You are doing nothing wrong on you half in my opinion. If he's a good boyfriend he will understand and not be selfish in a way to make you uncomfortable

[Mooshidog]

I miss you r, l, w, d/f/r, m, lb, and grandpa b ♡

[SolsticeTheBanana]

Huh. The moment my mental health gets better, my physical health falls away. I thought I was over this and the meds were helping, but no. I had to mess it up with that stupid antibiotic. Now this is every night. I don’t know when the last time I have slept without this horrible pain and discomfort was. Probably pulling an all-nighter tonight. It just keeps getting worse and the pain won’t stop. I wish this was over ;-; not to mention I had to miss school for it today, and I can’t miss again. But I probably will anyway. I can’t take this. I feel like I’m being eaten alive. Kinda makes me want to cry, because honestly I have tried everything on planet earth to fix this, seen all the doctors, and I’m still no better. I feel pretty hopeless with this rn.

Gosh this hurts.

[skyline]

i don't have depression, i never have. but my anxiety, ocd, and paranoia are building up on top of each other, i used to have this issue when i was younger, but i haven't felt like this for years. it's like i'm reverting back to my twelve year old self. sometimes it's hard to function, it gets so bad that i can't even watch the things i like without getting paranoid that it'll actually happen or something. i can't get it out of my head. i was diagnosed with severe anxiety when i was really little. now when it clashes with my ocd, and has somehow gotten worse, causing me to feel like i'm going crazy. i get paranoid about things, i love horror movies/the genre in general, but then my mind takes that subject, and makes me believe it's going to happen, and i become paranoid about that not knowing if it will ever go away.

i feel like it wouldn't be considered "severe enough" to talk to someone about this, or if i could even get help for it. it's starting to get worse and impacting my life terribly. i feel bad going to my mom about it because then she'll know she can't do anything about it and feel bad. or wish she could help me or something. my mind just won't leave me alone, even though i know how irrational this is, i can't come to terms with myself that anything will be okay. this trigger in particular has been something of an issue for me my whole life, but never as bad as it is now. i really don't know what to do at this point. i want it to go away, i just want to live my life without thinking every second something awful is going to happen.

[Loxo]

I’m working through the stages of grief, but I keep cycling back to anger and depression. My thoughts always go back to him.

Anyone have advice on overcoming a loss?

I just feel so alone; my whole family’s moved on and forgotten about him, but I still think about him every day, even though it’s been months.

I see pictures of him and cry. Someone will mention his name and I have to leave the room before I break down. I look at his favorite chair and picture him sitting there and get depressed again.

I need to move on, but I can’t.